Saving Grayson Gilbert
by waiting4love
Summary: Elena Gilbert hates having to ask people for things, but when her father suddenly gets sick with an unknown illness things begin to change, her relationship with her fiance takes a turn for the worst when she realizes that he could actually be responsible for her father's condition, and the only one who can help her save Grayson is the man whose heart she once broke. AH.
1. The Lucky Ones

**One: The Lucky Ones **

**_And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones.  
'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs_**

**Elena's POV**

The sun was shining through her bedroom window like it usually did in spring time, she had taken the day of to help her aunt Jenna, who needed to call everyone involved in her wedding (that was supposed to happen in a week) and cancel, it was such a mess and Jenna was on the verge of losing her mind. All she really wanted to do was go find Alaric Saltzman and kick his ass big time, for being such an enormous jackass, but she promised her aunt she wouldn't make it any worse that what is already was.

Elena was still lost in thought when she heard a loud noise coming from down stairs; she hurried down and found her dad laying in the living floor apparently unconscious.

"Dad? Are you okay?" She said trying to get her father to respond, he didn't move one inch he was knocked out. "Mom Call an ambulance right know! Dad is not breathing!"

After that everything happened so fast she didn't even realized what was going on until they arrived at Mystic Falls General, Grayson was now getting helped by every doctor in the E.R., everyone was trying to get him to breathe, they had to intubate on him and his heart rate when back up. Elena sighed, at least he was okay, it was just a scare, he would be fine she thought.

"Elena I need you to get out of here" Said Dr. Salztman getting her out "Let us do our job and as soon as I can I will go out and talk to you alright?" She saw Alaric moving his lips but wasn't really sure what he had said. He didn't wait for her to respond before he was back on the E.R. Elena looked inside for a bit seeing every doctor and every nurse available, walking around like crazy. Her mother stood there holding his father's hand all the way through until Alaric told her something and she too, had to step aside. She looked away from the E.R for a second and spotted him near the nurse desk he was all smiles while playing around with one of the girls from the dayshift. Her father was dying and he was out here finding someone to hook up with. What was wrong with him? He absentmindedly looked around and when he spotted her he held her stare for a little while, maybe trying to decipher what she was doing there. But he didn't bother asking. He just stood there and turn his gaze back to the girl she was talking to like he hadn't seen her in the first place.

"Sweetie, I came here as fast as I could. How is he?" Asked Caroline hugging her tight followed closely by Tyler who just gave her a quick squeeze and went on to the waiting room, looking a tad out of place.

"I don't know Care" She trembled "I just found him laying in the living room floor, he wasn't breathing I don't know what's wrong" Caroline began doing small circles in her arm, trying to get her to calm down "Alaric and my mom are inside with him" Elena felt like everything was standing still around her except from the people inside the E.R.

"Calm down, look your father is a very strong and healthy guy I'm sure he's going to be okay" Caroline remarked

"Let's hope so"

"Elena your mom says she doesn't want to leave your dad side, so you should come with me" Explained Alaric coming out of the E.R.

"Alright"

They walked past Damon and the slutty nurse he was flirting with, but he just stood there ignoring her again. Not even giving Alaric a glance to show interest on the situation. Soon they we're on the third floor in Alaric's office.

"Elena I need you to take a sit please" He stated while gesturing for the chair in front of his desk. Elena was trying to cope with everything that just happened, her father was still being tested and her mom was with him, Jeremy wasn't allowed to leave school for a few hours so that left her being scared for her father's health and completely alone.

"What's going on with him? He was just laying there when I got to the living room and I thought he was gone, I truly just want you to tell me that he's going to be ok"

"We're still testing him, and for now I can't really say what's going on for sure, what I do know is that his lungs collapsed and since he's not an asthma patient and has never suffer respiratory problems before today is very rare that it happened to him" He reported looking through her dad's chart.

"So that's it? You don't know anything?" She said starting at him in disbelieve, how was that supposed to help? To make her feel better? He was useless.

"There are a lot of things I still have to check out, but he will have to spend the night here until we know what caused this" He explained looking back at her.

"You're going to be his doctor?" She demanded.

"Until we know was wrong and we can have a specialist that can treat him, yes I'm he's doctor" Alaric muttered giving a soft smile.

"That's my only option?" Elena snapped at him, she knew she was being a tad unreasonable but this was her father's live, and she didn't trust him one bit.

"Look Elena, I know you and I have some issues, but I assure you I'm going to do all that I can to help Grayson"

"You better save him or at least get someone who can, let me know when you know more" She hissed looking him straight in the eyes, he better keep his word.

When Elena left Alaric's office she felt almost more worried than before she came in, he didn't know what was wrong, he just knew that is was not normal, apparently he was great at being obvious. She wasn't pleased at all that Alaric was the doctor on the case; she didn't believe he was the most competent doctor so she hated having to put her father's life in his hands.

Walking by the hallway she saw Damon in the distance, lead on yet another nurse and giving her that famous look that made every girl go crazy for him, she chuckled what was it with everyone and the Salvatore boys? She acknowledge that the we're both very easy on the eyes and of course Stefan was a gentleman but Damon was just too egocentric, too much of a jackass she still didn't understand why on earth was he a doctor, he was the less humanitarian person she knew.

As if she had called him with her mind Stefan appeared looking preoccupied "I'm sorry it took me so long to get here" Her fiancé said taking her in his strong arms, she had always felt safe every time she was near him, he made her calm and that was exactly what she needed right now, to take a breather and relax at least for five minutes, but apparently this time it wasn't working out so well.

"Don't worry about it Stef, I'm just really glad to see you" He kissed her then signaling that he was too, very glad to be there with her.

"How is he?" He asked holding her tight

"They're testing him, Alaric said that this is not normal, as if that wasn't clear when I found him passed out" Elena wasn't able to let it go.

"Baby I know you are not exactly Ric's fan right know, but he's a good doctor and I'm sure he's doing all he can" He replied with a soft voice

"It's not just that I don't like him Stef, it's my dad we're talking about and I really have trust issues when it comes to live or death situations"

"Yeah nothing to do with Jenna's big wedding fall out right?"

"Don't even get me started with that, he's a complete tool for leaving her and I'm trying really hard to not get angry at him for the wrong reasons but is not really working as you can see"

"It's a messed up situation, I could talk to my brother, maybe he can help out"

"Good luck with getting him to care" She responded

"I'll talk to him later; maybe he's in a good mood and wants to help"

"Damon it's not exactly my dad biggest fan, but it wouldn't hurt to give it a try" Elena stated and Stefan immediately made the question she knew he wanted to make for a while now.

"Actually now that you bring that up, do you know what that's all about? Damon and your dad not liking each other?" I'm sorry Stef but I have enough in my plate as is, she thought.

"I'm not really sure; you should ask your brother about it" She lied. Again.

"Every time I try he just gets mad and walks away"

"I'm sorry but I don't know the story very well" Elena said thinking how messed up it was for her to be lying to Stefan about Damon. But if they had come this far without him knowing, now what definitely not the time to change that. She didn't want to argue about the past, besides Stefan had nothing to worry about when it came to her relationship with the oldest Salvatore, or the lack of one.

"Well forget I even asked, is there anything that I can do for you?" He said quietly looking at her with those big green eyes that soothed her.

"Just stay with me for a while, okay?"

"That I can do" He said smiling at her and holding her tight, he was such a caring loving person, she never thought she could love him like more than a friend, but she eventually got over her issues and did fall for him, because who wouldn't? He was supportive and patient never asked her for more than she could give him and never left her, that was the main thing in his favor, he stuck around through it all.

Elena snapped out of her thoughts when she saw her mom approaching then, looking tired and scared.

"How is he doing mom?" She said holding her mother to give her a bit of strength.

"Not so good honey, they putted him in the ICU he's not waking up" She declared with her eyes filling with tears, she had been crying for a while she could tell by the swelling.

"What is Alaric doing about it?" She hissed.

"Elena he's doing the best he can okay? He just doesn't know what's wrong just yet, be patient" Her mother commanded.

"You think the best he can do is enough for me? That's my dad in there mom, your husband's not some John Doe, so I'm sorry but he needs a better doctor" Elena was close to crying, she felt like she couldn't help her father, and she couldn't take it.

"I'm going to talk to Damon, see what he can do for us. See you in a bit" Said Stefan leaving the Gilbert women standing in the middle of the waiting room with teary eyes.

"We both now he is not going to agree" Stated Miranda glancing at the disappearing figure of Stefan.

"I will have to making him them" Added Elena trying to reassure her mom.

She didn't missed the humor in the situation, she need him, after everything they had put each other through, he was the only one that could help her, strangely he was the only one he trusted with the life of the man that one way or the another separated them. Damon hated her father even more that he hated her, but it didn't matter, because she would beg if necessary, she would do anything until she got him to agree to help her, she knew that Stefan wouldn't be able to convince him, it had to be her…

_Flashback_

_"There's no way in hell I'm going to the party dressed like that" Damon commented looking at the costume Elena had laid in bed for him to wear "Lena don't give me that look, it's ridiculous do you want me to be the laugh of the party?"_

_"It's just a stupid costume babe, and this way we match" She said pointing to her own costume that was hanged in the closet door "See, we are going to look so cute"_

_"What has gotten into you? Since when do you dress like a cartoon character for Halloween? I was hoping we could pull off something a lot sexier" He said hugging her from behind and kissing her neck slowly._

_"Stop trying to distract me!" Elena yelled at him but he wouldn't go away "Is it working?" He whispered in her hear giving her earlobe a lick "Damon Salvatore, you are wearing that or I'm taking back your sex privileges" She said moving around the room from him._

_"Oh come on! That doesn't make any sense, you know how I hate it when you threaten me with the sex thing" He said more serious than before "Just give me a reason as to why we are not wearing the sexy priest and nun costume I bought for us"_

_"It's the hospitals party Damon, my dad works there, I just thought we could be a little more conservative, you know out of respect" She stared at him with her best smile, trying to change his mind._

_"Babe he's not going to like me any more just because I look pathetic, he thinks I'm not good enough for you and that's not going to change no matter how many Mickey Mouse costumes I put on" He declared entering the bathroom_

_"He never said that" Elena said standing in the doorway _

_"He didn't have to, he told you to stop seeing me and he's treating me like crap, so I don't really need him to utter the words" Damon was getting busy washing his face, pretending he didn't really care but she knew deep down it hurt him to know that Grayson was not on board with their relationship, after all he had been like a father to him, and he looked up to him as a man and as a doctor, Elena didn't know how to deal with the situation, the two most important men in her live couldn't agree in one of the things that connected them the most. Her. _

_"Look we are going to change his mind okay? Whatever it is that he doesn't like, we are getting through this, so just bear with me and put the costume on, please?" She said kissing him softly, he was one of the most strong minded people she knew, but every time she tried to convince him of something and followed it up with a kiss like that, he would agree, every time and of course this was not exception. _

_"Never say I didn't embarrass myself for you Gilbert" He said kissing her once again and throwing her inside the bathtub "And since my sex privileges still exist I think you should pay me upfront" He began talking her t-shirt off and she laughed letting him take control, after all it was a win/win situation for all the parties involved._

…It always had.

**_To distract our hearts from ever missing them.  
But I'm forever missing him_**.


	2. What Do You Need?

**AN: **_So chapter two! I'm really happy for the comments you made that will be answered as soon as I get the hold of how all this works (this is my first fic, be gentle) but as of now I can say all your questions will be answer in the story eventually. This chapter is from Damon's POV and the idea was for you to get a sense of how his normal life goes by. The song for this chapter is what do you need? From Goo Goo Dolls (obviously I don't own it) and you should give it a listen._

**Two: **_**What Do You Need?**_

_**Why do we need to turn it on?  
Why does it always feel so wrong?**_

**Damon's POV**

He looked through his patient chart once again, he couldn't concentrate, everyone in the hospital was in a frenzy, having one of their own in the ICU was not a common situation. He didn't want to know about it but people kept whispering in every corner, it was impossible to ignore, so far he had heard that Grayson had collapsed in his house 2 days ago and Elena was the one who found him, Alaric was in charge of the case but apparently the Gilberts were not happy about it. But then again when were the Gilberts happy about anything? Nothing and no one was ever good enough for them, he couldn't begging to imagine how difficult it was for Ric to be in the middle of that mess. And he didn't want to ask.

A soft knock on his office door got him out of his trance "Come on in" He said to whoever was disturbing his peace. The door opened and in came his little brother looking like he was about to cause some trouble. "Stefan, I was wondering when you would come see me" He remarked gesturing for him to sit down.

"I need you to go check out Grayson's test results" Stefan said without any sign of question in his voice, it was more like a demand. Here we go thought Damon.

"Why would I do that?" He demanded finally closing the chart he was trying to read for the past half hour.

"You're a doctor, that's why"

"Ric is the physician in the case, go talk to him" Stefan looked pissed at his indifference about the current situation.

"Damon she doesn't trust him with this, just do me a favor and check it out" Damon couldn't believe Elena was making his brother persuade him of taking over the case, like that was gonna happen, he didn't want anything to do with the Gilberts least of all Grayson.

"Elena needs to grow up, so what if Ric realized his mistake and called off the wedding? that has nothing to do with his knowledge as a doctor"

"It doesn't really matter what you both think, in the end Grayson needs all the help he can get" He knew Stefan was being very careful not to make him mad, thinking that maybe this way he would agree, but he wouldn't, not a chance.

"Yes and he's getting all the help Mystic Falls General can give him, tell Elena that if she is not satisfied with the service he's getting then she can take him to another hospital" He responded looking down to his computer "You can go now, this conversation it's over and I have work to do"

"When did you turn into so such a selfish prick? What about the oath you took to help people?"

"I've always been a selfish prick Stefan, it just never bother you before" Damon replied smiling cynically "Currently I don't have time to take on another patient ,so bye now, see you around little brother" Stefan glanced at him for a second, before storming out of his office without saying a word, he was mad because he probably promised Elena he would help and he couldn't, can't always be the hero baby bro, he thought to himself before getting back to his patients reports.

A few hours later he found himself looking through an old photo album that he hid in his desk for when melancholy hit, he looked at some photos of his mother when she was young and full of life, he was just a baby in her arms and even his father looked content, he always thought photographs just served the purposed of giving you a small dose of situations that would never happen again, never in the exact same way at least. When he got to the page of his first year of med school he had to stop himself from chuckling, there it was Grayson Gilbert in all his mentor glory, letting him cut for the first time, Grayson looked proud and he looked excited, and the sad thing was that it was just a small glimpse of all the times he felt invincible beside that man, the same man that kicked him out of his life one day without looking back. A part of him knew he was acting stupid, he should help after all if it was anyone else he would already had.

Damon hid the photo album once again, trying to forget all about it when a new knock on the door came, he didn't reply hoping the person knocking got the hint and went away but after a few seconds the door opened and an irritated Elena Gilbert came in.

"Good, you're still here I need to talk to you" She said taking a seat in the chair facing him.

"Sure Elena, come on in, take a seat, do you want some coffee?" He stated sarcastically.

"You know why I'm here, so let's just cut to the chase shall we?"

"Already gave you an answer through my brother, I'm not getting involved" He replied without looking at her, busying himself with the infamous chart again.

"Damon, you know I wouldn't be asking if I had any other choice" Elena said getting her chair closer to his desk to draw his attention, but he didn't take his glance of the chart.

"He wouldn't want me to get involved" He tried "Your old man doesn't trust me"

"You're a great doctor, I'm sure you don't care what I think but he thinks so too" She said with conviction "Would you at least look at me while I'm talking?"

"You better appreciate that I'm at least listening to you, I have a lot of work to do"

"Think I haven't noticed that you've been staring at that dam file for 5 minutes, you're not working you're avoiding me" She said finally losing her temper

"Elena you knew when you came in here that I wouldn't—"He began to say but she quickly interrupted

"I believe that you can save him, maybe you're the only one who can" She whispered slowly trying to catch his eyes

"You're overreacting; he will be fine with Ric" Damon wouldn't look at her, because he knew how this story went, even now after everything that happened his resistance to this particular mess of brown hair and deep bright eyes didn't last long, but it had to.

"I don't want Ric, I want the best and that's you" She assured him with conviction surrounding her words.

"No need to praise me" Did he feel glad that she thought so high of him? Did he dare to?

"So you will take over?" Her voice sounded relived, but it wouldn't last.

"I won't" He said finally looking right in her big brown eyes, he could see every single thing she was feeling, she always sucked at hiding her emotions from him but today he had a feeling she wasn't even trying, she wanted him to see her desperation, she wanted him to care, but he no longer did. "And I'm late for surgery so I'm sure you can find the exit" He commented while shutting the door on his way out. He didn't care, he couldn't.

The only way of getting through the night was going straight to The Grill after surgery, he need a distraction because his conscience was starting to get really loud, he wouldn't admitted but he was struggling with his decision, because of her and even Grayson, it was ridiculous since it wasn't like he could save him and decided not to, he actually didn't know what was even wrong with him, it could be anything… he was curious, he was feeling anxious and he knew he needed to stop. Stop all of it.

"I was starting to miss seeing your face around Salvatore" Said Matt giving him a glass with his favorite bourbon.

"Oh come on, it's not like were even friends" He said it, but maybe he didn't really believe it. Matt actually smiled at his remark.

"If I were you I wouldn't say that to one of the few people that can actually stand me"

"What are you talking about? People love me" Damon smirked while Matt served a beer to another customer before returning to the conversation.

"No, women want to have sex with you, actual people hate you" The last words were pronounced slowly for an overdramatic effect.

"So basically women aren't real people?" This is what he need it, a fun (?) shallow conversation with ex-quarterback, forever-grill-employee Matt Donovan.

"If they are damaged enough to want to sleep with you, no, they aren't"

"I'll make sure women know you said that"

"Go ahead, they wouldn't believe you" He dared him.

"You're right Matty they wouldn't" And really who would think that Matt was capable of anything slightly bad? He looked like he wouldn't hurt a fly.

"So, tough day at work?" Back to reality, his bartender skills were back on.

"You could say that" He said with a sigh.

"How's Grayson doing?" Matt questioned with concern.

"He's in ICU, he's peachy" Damon faking a smile.

"Yeah Elena told me that much a few hours ago"

"What else did she said?" He really didn't need another person speaking in Elena's behalf.

"Not much, she's trying to be strong for her mom and Jeremy but I know she's having a tough time dealing with it" It's not your business Damon; keep that in mind.

"That sounds exactly like her, trying to please everybody but herself" Dude you don't care remember?

"Elena thinks that's in her job description, but you know better than I do that she needs to be taken care of too" Im not that dumb Donovan this conversation it's not happening.

"Shot me another drink and layoff with the Gilbert talk would you?" Damon said diverting the conversation and trying to get back to trivial things.

"Sure thing Doc" He never thought he would see a day when Matt Donovan knew him enough to not push him on a subject, but life's weird that way.

He sat there and talked to Matt until he had to close the bar up, it was 3 am and he hadn't even tried to take a girl home, it was useless he was tired of that life, he liked to have sex as much as the next guy (let's be honest probably a lot more than the next guy) but no strings attached began losing its appeal after he turned 30, he thought his life was going to be a whole different than what it was, and even if he tried not to think about it, having Elena walking around the hospital was beginning to get to him. She was the walking remainder of the life he once desired, but even if she couldn't get her he had to work on getting his life to a better place, he wanted to be wanted it was as simple and as complicated as that.

The lights of the boarding house were still on when he got there a few minutes later, and he had a feeling his night was going to get worse before it got better, Elena was probably there, maybe even looking for him, he couldn't face her, but he couldn't help her either, he was stuck in the middle of a shit load of baggage that he didn't know how or where to drop. Opening the door as quietly as he could he managed to get to the stairs without anyone intercepting him, he heard voices coming from the living room but he went upstairs before getting caught in the conversation. He breathed deeply after closing the door to his room, maybe tonight wasn't that bad, tomorrow he would have to ignore her all over again because she wasn't giving up and he wasn't giving in.

The sound of the water falling down in his white marble bathtub always made him feel relaxed, perhaps it was the marble or maybe he was just being classist, people without marble bathtubs and big beautiful bathrooms surely relaxed in the shower as much as he did, it had to be the water then, that was the only explanation, was he drunk? His train of thought was more than petty than usual.

"Your love story with this bathroom has no end, only you can come home at almost 4 am and decide to fill the tub, or was today that bad?" Said a voice that apparently just entered his room without him realizing it.

He blinked a few times; his eyes and his ears had to be deceiving him, because he didn't expect her to appear on his bedroom tonight or ever again for that matter. But there she was, looking at him like time hadn't passed, like she never left.

"I was going to call it a bad day, but maybe you just changed my mind" He said giving her a ghost of a smile.

"Is Damon Salvatore actually being sweet?" She joked standing in the bathroom doorway, closer than she was before.

"Well it all depends, are you here to tease me?" Damon commented while taking his pants off.

"When have I ever?" She was continually teasing him, but in reality he kind of like her for it.

"You sure you want me to answer that?" He was now standing in front of the tub, a few feet's from her, wearing just boxers. She looked at him curiously for a second and then spoke again.

"No, I just wanted to know how you're doing" She said sincerely.

"You came all the way here, to ask me how I'm doing?" He said disbelieving.

"I actually came here for Stefan's birthday, that's tomorrow" One thing you couldn't say about this girl, was that she wasn't honest to a fault.

"Of course, wishful thinking on my part" Damon replied trying to sound indifferent.

"Damon, you know I wanted to see you or I wouldn't have come" She said playing with her blonde hair unconsciously.

"Well already saw me so you can go back to whatever you were doing" He hissed.

"Don't shut me out" She was on to him, like always.

"I'm just tired" He confessed while taking a few steps in her direction.

"Want me to stay the night?" She laughed, it surely as a response to look on his face.

"Are you trying to take advantage of me?" Damon joked but didn't stop until he was almost touching her.

"You so wish I was, but that's not what I meant" Honestly maybe he did wish.

"I'll finishing my bath and meet you out there, unless-"He had to give it a try, he wouldn't be Damon Salvatore if he wouldn't, but he knew her answer before she said it and walked out to the his bedroom.

"See you outside"

The planets were definitely aligning for a massive disaster, he knew he would crash and burn, but hey when had that ever stopped him before. She was here, and he didn't have the willpower to send her away, so he would go with the flow and see where it lead. He came out of the bathroom and she was already lying in his bed wearing a big Pink Floyd t-shirt, and for once he didn't want to ripped it off, he just wanted to lie there with her for the rest of the night. So he did, he approached her and she immediately gave him some room to lie next to her, she let her head fall on his chest, he felt secure and loved, even it was just an illusion.

"I've miss you Lex"

"Yeah, me too"

After that he surrendered to the science of sleep, feeling assured that for once he wouldn't wake up alone.

A pounding sound woke him up, but he wasn't conscious enough to understand where it came from or what it was, he was still drained and didn't want to move once inch, Lexie's arms where around his bottom half but the sudden movement made him open his eyes, she was getting up and heading for the door.

"Are you leaving me that fast?" He said teasingly

"I'm just getting the door; apparently someone really needs to talk to you" She replied while walking across his master suite.

"Damon come on, I know you're in there" Said an insisting voice from the other side of his closed door.

He knew that voice… and he was sure nothing good could come out of this situation. Lexie opened the door and the brown eyed beauty gazed at her perplexed. This looked bad, Lexie had sex hair for some reason and he was lying there without his shirt on, so what? She could think whatever the hell she wanted, it wasn't his problem anymore.

"Lexie?" Said a very confused Elena standing in the doorway, she took a look around the room, and she saw him, her emotions were showing but to his disbelieve she was not angry anymore she actually looked hurt, and this time she didn't want him to see it. But as always he did.

_**What do you need from me tonight?  
The truth is so complicated now**_

_**AN: **__Before you say anything about Lexie being a random choice I have to say I'm very aware of that fact but some spoiler pictures from an upcoming episode made me see some sparks between Damon and Lexie so I decided to give it a try, anyway we know this is a DE, but we are not there yet! Thak you for reading it means a lot (even more if you drop me a comment (that I promise will learn to reply to))_


	3. Medicine

**AN: **_Chapter three is up people, and I finally understood how the replying to reviews goes so after posting this I will answer! Thanks for the support! Hope you like this new chapter and it clears up some of the doubts concerning DE past (obviously not all the answers are given just yet), and by the way every chapter's name is a song, in this case Medicine by Daughter give it a listen :)_

**Three: Medicine **

_**Pick it up, pick it all up.  
And start again.  
You've got a second chance,  
you could go home.**_

**Elena's POV**

Damon stood up from the bed and approached the door, he looked at Lexie and back at me probably trying to figure out what to say, it was kind of strange seeing him out of place, he was never out of plan or a witty word to say, but as always there was an exception to every rule.

"Elena wait for me downstairs I'll be right there" He commanded not really looking at me and closing the door hurriedly. It wasn't like she had any option other than to follow his sudden order, so she went downstairs to wait for him, Elena was surprised to find Lexie there, in this bed, because if there was one thing she always believed concerning Damon Salvatore was that he never lied to her, and apparently that was not true either. Once again she felt betrayed, disappointed, guess that's what lies did to you, kept you from trusting and from loving people.

He came rushing down the stair with a black t-shirt on and a relaxed face, She didn't know how to react, She didn't want to call him out on his lie because, it didn't matter anymore, but she couldn't help herself, confrontation was one of her favorites things in the world when it came to him.

"You lied" She said looking at him with disgust "You said you have never lied to me, but you did about her" His face went blank for a second, but he regained his composure quickly, maybe he didn't her expect her to say what she was thinking.

"I didn't, when I told you there was nothing going on it was true Elena, even now… it's complicated" She wanted to slap him, maybe it didn't make sense but she felt like hurting him physically would make her feel better.

"And we both know how much you hate complicated things, so why haven't you run away yet?" She said trying to get to him, which by the way he was responding was seemingly working.

"I have never run from anything in my life Elena, but I'm not martyr either" He declared looking past her at the bourbon bottle sitting on the bar and serving a drink which he immediately drank.

"You're to dam selfish to be a martyr Damon" Backing out of this conversation wasn't an option, she was pushing him.

"If you came here to call me things, I'm really not in the mood" He commented crossing the room and sitting on his leather couch.

"Does Stefan know? About you and Lexie?" She said standing in front of the fireplace with her back to him. He sighed.

"There's a lot Stefan doesn't know" Elena turned around to look at him but he seem lost in space.

"So he doesn't know about Lexie?" She insisted.

"Why do you even care?" He replied, she didn't know if he was really searching for an answer but she wasn't giving him one, because there wasn't any reason that she could give him that didn't sounded like she still cared for him.

"You think he'll forgive us? If he ever finds out about us and how we kept it from him" She told him while he looked at her with disbelief.

"He's not as forgiving as you think he is, that's why he can't find out, ever" Damon maintained looking concerned even by the thought of it.

"I thought honesty was your policy" Elena knew he wasn't responsible for all of it, she was a big part of why Stefan was kept in the dark for so long, it was her call even if she was unaware of it at the time.

"It is, but in my relationship with Stefan maybe is too late for that" He replied. Damon always tried to make it seem like he didn't care one bit about Stefan, but she knew him well enough to know that his relationship with his brother was the only thing that really mattered to him, why he didn't show it, that was entirely a different mystery.

"Are being honest with Lexie?" She challenged.

"Unlike you I'm not capable of lying to the person I supposedly love" He said defiantly, Elena wasn't expecting him to say love; she thought care was a good enough word but love meant so much more. So even though he claimed he didn't hook up with Lexie all those years ago, he was now in love with her?

"So you love her?" Elena asked even if she didn't want to know the answer.

"I would need my attorney present for further questioning your honor" He said smiling cynically at her. Damon didn't like to lie to the people he cared about, but he such as hell was the master of evasion.

"Very funny" She responded knowing that he wasn't giving her an answer, for him the subject was closed.

"Elena look if you want to try to convince me to treat your father go ahead, but don't meddle in my personal life, because if I remember correctly you chose to no be a part of it" Damon finally said, bringing them to the real reason she came to talk to him, she approached the couch and sat beside him, but not close enough to touch him.

"I get it Damon… I hurt you, and my father did too but can you forget about that for a minute? Can you let yourself remember when he mentored you instead? When he taught you everything you know? When he singlehandedly made you the doctor you are?" Elena knew that appealing to Damon's pride was one of the only ways to convince him to help; she somehow doubted that kissing him like she used to do would serve her cause, and of course she wouldn't do it either, that chapter of her life was closed, she was with Stefan now and she wouldn't cheat, not even with Damon.

"Oh but that's the thing Elena, he also singlehandedly ruined what I thought was the best relationship I had in my life…" He sound wounded still, and maybe he was, but she wasn't letting the past get in the way of her father's future.

"So you're refusing to save his life because he kept us apart?" She reproached.

"I don't even know if I can save him" Damon said quietly not really answering her question.

"Try, that's all I'm asking from you, please Damon do it for the memory of the man you once admired" She was close to begging, she would do it if she had to, when it came to saving the life of the man she loved the most nothing was beyond her.

"Let me be completely clear about something, if I decide to do this, and that's a big if, I'm not in any way doing it for you or for him, I'm doing this because you're right he taught me a lot, and what kind of men would I be if I didn't pay him back?" She heard everything he said and realized that he was struggling with his decision, because as always he knew what the right thing was, and even if he didn't like it he would have do it.

"I don't care why you do it, it's fine by me, as long as you agree to help" She assured him.

"I hope I don't regret this later, but I'll do it, I'll try" He said a few seconds later looking at her, maybe for the second time in all their conversation.

"Thank you Damon, you have no idea what that means-"She began saying before being interrupted by his serious tone.

"Don't thank me, I haven't fixed him yet"

"But you will, I know you will" Elena told him holding his upper arm briefly, his reaction was immediate he stood up and faced the fireplace, like she was doing before.

"Oh and Elena" He whispered slowly.

"Yes?"

"You never saw Lexie in my bedroom this morning, understood?" He stated firmly.

"The way you lie to your brother it's your problem, not mine" Elena answered without much thought.

"Oh no honey, it's not how I lie to him it's how we both do, repeatedly" He said looking at her, maybe searching for a reaction, and she was about to say something to him when Stefan entered the living room all sweaty from his morning run. He approached the couch and kissed her cheek before looking at his brother inquisitively.

"Damon are you being a dick again about helping Grayson? Or have you finally agreed to be a decent human being?" He said with a serious tone even though he was smiling at his brother.

"I wouldn't say I am decent by a long shot, but for once I'll give it a try, and by the way happy birthday baby bro!" Damon told him patting strongly in the back, without giving me even a second glance he disappeared up the stairs.

"So how did you do it?" Asked Stefan intrigued.

"I just reminded him of a time when he loved and admired my dad" She responded, even though she wasn't sure that was it.

"Whatever happened between them has to be a hell of a story, I have not yet met too people as stubborn as those two" He replied pensively.

"Yeah well, he's going to help and that's what's important" She concluded, trying to stir away from the touchy subject. "You know what's also important today? You being a year older and sexier" Elena continued, kissing him softly.

"Am I about to get birthday sex?" Asked Stefan obviously teasing her.

"God I wish not" Said Lexie coming down stairs "Elena" She said acknowledging her "Nice to see you're still as in love with my bestie as ever" Lexie came inside the living room and stat across from them looking amused.

"What can I say Lex? You know these Salvatore men are more than loveable" She purposely used the nickname she once heard Damon called her, even if Stefan was unaware of the real conversation going on between then.

"I'm getting some really strong catfight vibes right now, are you guys fighting over me?" Stefan was in such a good mood that he just went around teasing everybody, maybe being the birthday boy got him out of his usual broody ways. Before anyone could reply Damon came bouncing down the stairs with a fresh t-shirt on and his hospital coat hanging in his arm.

"Don't flatter yourself brother, this two lovely ladies would never fight over a guy, they're far too classy for that, right girls?" He said apparently mockingly, but she knew better than to fall for his supposed charm, he was more than likely giving them a warning to lay off with the bichtiness.

"Enough with the mocking Salvatore" Said Lexie rolling her eyes, was she actually putting up a show for Stefan's benefit? What a best friend she was.

"I forgot how much you hate being called a lady, my apologies" Said Damon giving her his signature smile.

"Can you two just get along for today?" Said Stefan looking at both of them pleadingly.

"I'm sure for you, they can make it work" Remarked Elena with a tone of sarcasm that only Damon and Lexie understood, a few seconds later the sound of a generic ringtone made everyone begin to search their pockets, at last Elena realized it was hers and answered the phone quickly "Meredith what's wrong?... Wait what? Of course I'll be there in 5 minutes I'm bringing Damon with me, just do everything you can until then, please Meredith please keep him alive" Elena disconnected the call and took a second to readjust herself, her father was in the verge of dying, and like that all the day drama disappear from her mind, she took Damon by the arm and dragged him to the door without looking or explaining to anyone.

"What's wrong?" Said Damon alarmed by her sudden attitude.

"I'll explain in the way over Damon, we need to get you there let's go" She said opening the door and pushing him out of it. Stefan and Lexie just looked at them without saying a word.

"Let me get my keys"

"There's no time, here let's take my car" Elena threw her car keys at Damon and he caught them even though he wasn't prepared for it.

"What happened Elena; breathe for the love of God" He said a few seconds later when they were already in the car.

"He went into cardiac arrest, apparently his body is shutting down, whatever Ric has being doing this past few days obviously isn't solving anything" She responded in the verge of having a break down, she knew it wasn't actually Ric's fault, but in this moment she just wanted someone to blame for her father's state and God wasn't a good option.

"Look at me Elena, I'm going to take care of him okay? Just please try to take deep breaths, I can't concentrate enough to get there with you going all asthmatic on me" Damon said making touch her face to make her look at him, before letting her go and finally backing out of the driveway.

"I'm trying, I'm…. I can't lose him Damon, I just-"She tried to say but the air was not enough and the tears were treating to come out.

"He's going to be okay, we'll save him, I promise" He was trying to make her feel better but she knew the truth, nothing was saving her father is this was his time to go… but it couldn't be, she wasn't ready, her mother and Jeremy weren't ready, this couldn't happen. Damon gave her a concern, reassured and a-whole-lot-of-emotions look when they came to the stop sign that was just after his property limits.

With that last look he told her everything she already knew when he said yes back at the house, he was in, he was going to give all of him to save her father, and regardless of what they both said earlier in her heart she just wanted his motives to be about her, at least a little bit. He speed up all the way through the busy town streets and when they finally arrived at the hospital he ran inside leaving her to park the car, he was in doctor mode now, and like always he seemed unstoppable.

An hour had passed, and she still stood outside the ICU waiting for Damon to give her an update, Stefan had called a few times but she had told him it was best if he didn't come, she wanted to deal with this alone, she couldn't take his preoccupied stare right now, she just needed someone who would understand that it was okay to let her feel scared, that it was okay to not have the right words to say. Her mother had a panic attack when her father's heart began to fail so she was sedated in a hospital room, and Jeremy went for coffee but she knew he was also trying to get a minute to process all that was going on. He might not be a child anymore, but maybe you never get around to the possibility of losing your father no matter how old you are.

Elena saw Jeremy heading back with two coffees in his hands, and he gave her a forced smile before handing one over to her.

"Nothing yet?" He said looking at the closed doors of the ICU.

"I'm sure he will come out anytime now" She said not sure who she was trying to convince, him or herself.

"No news is good news in this case I suppose" Jeremy commented without much enthusiasm.

"I'm betting on that" She said wholeheartedly.

"How come Damon's inside anyway? I thought you said he didn't want to be involved"

"He doesn't want to, but I got through to him this morning, guess I made him feel like he owed it to dad"

"Elena I know you may not want to hear this, but I get it, he has a right to want some distance from dad after all he treated him like trash" Jeremy always had Damon's back when things went down, he was the only person that actually came to her room and yelled at her when she had told him that they had broken up, he said she was making a big mistake, he said she would regret it and maybe he was right, but either way this was not the time to reminisce in the ways she had hurt Damon in the past, her father had to be the only concern in her mind.

"Jer dad was trying to protect me okay? Maybe he made the wrong choice but at least now we're all happy" She commented trying to get him out of the tricky subject at hand.

"You don't believe that, you're just saying it because right now you're scared of never seeing dad again, but don't tell me you don't hold it against him, because I know dam well that you do" He remarked.

"It doesn't change anything, and I forgave him a long time ago" After she said that she realized that maybe forgive was a big word, maybe she hadn't, maybe a small part of her would never forget the pain that breaking up with Damon caused her, or how her father was indirectly responsible.

"Good thing he did it to you them, because I wouldn't hesitate to send him to hell if he woke up one morning and decided that Ana wasn't good enough for me" When Elena didn't responded, Jeremy tried again "Okay forget the part about send it him to hell, I love dad, I want him to be okay and I have faith in Damon, but it wasn't right for him to meddle in your relationship either way"

"Let's just drop the subject alright?" Elena mumbled.

"At least it got you thinking about other things for a while" Jeremy said with a small smile.

In that moment the doors of the ICU opened and Damon came out looking as he had just performed an 11 hour surgery, he took his surgical cap off and ruffled his hair, Elena was scared to look at him because she knew she would read his expression even before he got a chance to talk, so she just stared at the celling waiting for him to say something.

"He's clear guys, you can rest easy"

"You're the best D! Thank you bro!" Jeremy said giving Damon a sudden hug, which he gladly accepted; Elena tried unsuccessfully not to think much about the scene before her, whatever she was thinking didn't really matter anymore.

"I'm sorry we had to meet like this Jer, but at least I had good news for you" Damon said to him after backing away from the brotherly hug.

"Implying there's bad news?" Elena finally said looking at Damon's concerned face.

"Well I'm running some tests to prove a suspicion I have about your father's condition but I won't get the results at least until tomorrow, for now he's stable but I can't treat him until I know for sure what I need to be treating him for" He said with his best doctor face.

"If there's anything we can do to help, just say it" Jeremy responded looking hopeful.

"I'll keep you posted; I'm going to go make some research see you guys around" He said before walking away from and towards the elevator.

"See you later D" Said Jeremy waving goodbye to Damon and falling heavily on one of the waiting chairs. Damon made his way around the corner when Elena finally sat in the chair next to Jeremy and sighed.

"Jeremy you should go home and rest for a while" She told him assuming the caretaker role.

"No way, im staying with mom while you go home and get change for your boyfriend's dinner party" Her brother commanded.

"I'm not going to that, Stefan will understand" And besides Elena, didn't wanted to go out and act like she was up for a party when her farther and her mother were both laying in hospital beds.

"I want you to go and relax for a bit you can come back when you're done if you like" He agreed like the issue was already settle.

"Since when is Stefan's birthday that important to you?" She asked oddly.

"Is not, but I care about your wellbeing and I don't need another Gilbert woman having a panic attack or any kind of health crisis so could you just do as I say for once sis?" He asked her nicely even if he wasn't giving her a choice.

"Fine, I'll go but I'm coming back later so you can take mom home alright?" Elena agreed reluctantly.

"Perfect! Go have fun, I'll be here and let you know if anything comes up" Jeremy stood up from the chair and began pushing his sister to the exit, she knew he was trying to do what he thought was right, but going to dinner with Stefan and Lexie and pretending she was interested in listening to their conversation wasn't her idea of relaxing, and certainly wasn't going to help much in keeping her away from a panic attack. She loved Stefan but in this particular moment, she just wanted to be alone, and not feel pressured to react one way or another. They were few people in the world that made her feel like being herself, and feeling whatever she felt was okay, and the one who got her perfectly, she threw away like if someone would come around soon and replace him, but no one had, no matter how hard she had tried.

_**You could still be,  
what you want to,  
What you said you were,  
when you met me.**_

_**What do you need from me tonight?  
The truth is so complicated now**_

_**AN: **_


	4. Disease

**AN: **_I'm sorry for the long wait, hope you like the new chapter and still care for the faith of De in this thing, the song is from Matchbox 20, enjoy :)!_

**Four: Disease **

_**Feels like you made a mistake  
You made somebody's heart break  
But now I have to let you go  
I have to let you go.**_

**Damon's POV**

He had been studying Grayson's case for the past 3 hours, and since the results from the tests he was running still weren't ready he wasn't getting much done, Ric had given him the file hesitantly warning him about how it was a very bad idea for him to get involved with the Gilberts again, as if Damon wasn't aware of it. He tried not to get involved, but Elena was a pain in the ass when she wanted something and he knew she wouldn't leave him alone until he accepted to take the case, and besides it was a challenge and he never said no to those, and if there was even a remote possibility that he could save Grayson and rubbed it in his face he would definitely take it, deep down he just wanted to prove to him that he was a great doctor and that he had been wrong in the past, that was going to be the ultimate satisfaction when all this ordeal was over.

He had to admit he couldn't stop thinking about Elena's look that morning in the car, he had never seen her so scared, she was so vulnerable, so fragile, and he just wanted to take all the fear and all the pain away in that instant, even if he knew it wasn't his place. He wasn't in love with her anymore, but he couldn't deny the effect she had on him, she made him want to be the hero and precisely that was the main reason why he had to keep the distance, she wasn't getting in his head again after all the trouble he went to get her out the first time.

After a few minutes Damon looked up from the article he was supposedly reading to find a blonde smiling back at him, taking him by surprised as it was now her specialty.

"Do you know how rude it is for you to always show up unannounced?" He said to her holding back a smile.

"Believe it or not I did knock this time, you just didn't hear it" She stood up and walked around the desk and stood in front of him looking pleased with what she saw "Do you have any idea how sexy it is seeing you working so hard and wearing that dam white coat?"

"Lex we already went through this, you shouldn't tease me" Damon said taking her hand and gesturing for her to sit on his lap, he was more than pleasantly surprised when she did.

" I actually came to tell you that your brother decided to move his birthday dinner to Saturday since he knows Elena is not in the mood to celebrate today" She said avoiding his previous comment.

"Good because I wasn't feeling it much either" He replied running a hand through his hair. Why didn't he realize sooner that Lexie was the girl he needed all along? The one that could make him the man he wanted to be, who wouldn't doubt him? Who probably wouldn't leave him?

"I also wanted talk to you about Elena" She said holding his face in her hands softly and keeping her eyes focused on his blue ones.

"I don't have anything more to say to you on that subject" He answered talking her hands in his and moving then away from his face, avoiding her stare. Why didn't Lexie understand that he wanted her? She was the one running from him, not the other way around.

"Damon, I know you don't want to go over this again but-"He interrupted before she could finish the sentence.

"There's no but Lex, I have told you time and time again that I'm over her, but you don't seem to believe me" Damon said sweetly as if trying to get her to understand at last.

"I know you believe you're over her, but I can't be your rebound, I don't want to get hurt" She said and it sounded more like a plead than anything else.

"Are you kidding me right now? We broke up 3 years ago, I had rebounds, bunch of them, and I've slept with every willing girl in this god forsaken town" He snapped, he couldn't believe she still thought he didn't take her seriously, Damon was tired of adventures and one night stands he just wanted to wake up to the same girl for the rest of his life, even if everybody else thought it was out of character.

"You don't need to be so explicit about it" She remarked getting up from his lap in one gracious movement.

"Do you want to know why I never slept with you back then?" He commented more quietly than before.

"Because I didn't give you the chance?" She said from the other side of the desk sitting down in the leather chair, obviously not impressed.

"I didn't even try Lex, because frankly I cared too much about you to sleep with you, I was in self destroy mode but I couldn't risk losing the only woman I respected" Damon said honestly staring right at her, making her blush a bit.

"Huh, well played Salvatore" She said trying not to give it too much importance Damon acknowledged.

"I swear to you I'm not playing Lex, I know you're scared of me, but give us a shot would you?"

"Do you really think this is the best time for that? When you're working on her father's case? This is inevitably bringing back some memories Damon and you saw how she looked at us this morning she was pissed" She argued.

"She was" Damon confessed and for a moment he thought that explaining to her why Elena was mad in the first place would make everything better, later he realized that giving the issue more importance was not a good idea, Elena could be mad because she thought he lied when he said he wasn't with Lexie all those years ago or maybe she could even be mad because she thought they had slept together last night but either way it didn't matter to him and he was making that perfectly clear to Lexie and even to Elena is the subject ever came up.

"So she was mad because she thought we slept together, does she think she still has a claim on you?" Lexie stated skeptically.

"Why does it matter? She can get mad all she wants; she can scream and shout I don't care and that's because I don't want her. Plus she's my brother's fiancé Lexie; do you think I don't take that seriously?" He exclaimed irritated with her low image of him.

"Finally Damon, I'm glad you accept that she being your brother's fiancé is the main reason why you won't try to get her back" Lexie shouted letting her emotions get to her.

"She broke my heart, she screw me over, I thought you understood that, I don't want her back because she let me down, and in this moment you're kind of letting me down too, so please just leave Lex, I don't want to have this discussion any longer, go home" Damon said giving his back to her and waiting for her to get out of his office.

"Damon wait… look-"Lexie began saying in a quiet and desperate tone.

"I'm not a teenager anymore, I hate drama and I really hate that you think I'm her lap dog or something, so get the hell out before I say something we could both regret" After a few seconds he heard her get up and slam the door shut in her way out, how could he be so wrong about people all the time? Here he was thinking she was the only one that understood him, and she was apparently far from knowing anything about him.

He wasn't a saint, that was no secret and he was paying for his mistakes and for his reputation, but Lexie was there, she saw what losing Elena did to him, he changed, and he didn't love Elena, he couldn't anymore because she ended things right when he thought she was the one as if they were reading two different stories concerning their relationship, in her book they were ending and in his they were merely beginning. Elena thought he hated Grayson because he kept them apart but that was not it, he couldn't forgive Grayson for not giving him his blessing, and on top of that for treating him differently for not being his friend or his mentor for changing everything in the blink of an eye, but ultimately the decision of dumping him was all Elena's and so was the responsibility, those were the thing he couldn't let himself forget, even know.

The door to his office snapped open and for a second he was about to shout at whoever was disturbing his already crappy day, but when he saw Jeremy Gilbert entering the room with a shocked expression he assumed he worst, he looked at his pager but it hadn't went on so Grayson had to be okay, but something was not right with the not so little Gilbert boy.

"Jeremy? Is anything wrong with your dad?" He said wanting to be absolutely sure that his pager was working and Grayson Gilbert was still alive.

"No" He said closing the door and pacing the room back and forth.

"Are you okay?" Damon whispered not knowing how to act around his once borrowed little brother.

"Yeah, I just got some pretty big news and… well the first person I wanted to tell about it isn't available" Jeremy finally looked at Damon and left out a nervous laugh "It's good news D, it's just I wanted to share this with my dad and maybe he won't ever get to find out"

"Don't think like that Jer, in a couple of days he's going to be bossing you around and you will regret not enjoying your vacation from him" He said trying to calm him down.

"I got into Harvard Med, they just called me to let me know that I have an early admission" Jeremy said really fast and for a second Damon thought he didn't understood clearly, Jeremy was going to be a doctor? He was not expecting that.

"You want to be a doctor? You got into Harvard? Life has moved on without me" He said getting up and giving Jeremy a big hug, Damon wasn't a hugger but he wasn't good with showing affection with words either so he thought this moment merited that he tried both. "That's amazing Jer, I'm really proud of you little Gilbert"

"Thank you Damon, I know we haven't been in touch for a while… but I wanted you to know that it had a lot to do with you" Jeremy mentioned and Damon looked at him impressed.

"Me? What did I do?"

"You inspired me, and I have to admit that at some point I was kind of jealous of the relationship you had with my dad, he was very proud of you" He admitted quietly.

"Well I'm sure your dad would be more proud of you than he ever was of me" Damon said sincerely, knowing that for Grayson having his son follow his footsteps was the ultimate dream, even if he never encourage him to choose medicine out loud.

"He messed up D, and he still regrets the way he acted around you"

"Let's not worry about that know, he will have the chance to redeem himself if he wants to" He stated vaguely.

"I have to go check up on mom, but if you need to talk sometime know that for me you're still my big brother" Damon took a deep breath, he didn't know how to respond to that, he was almost feeling teary eyed, he loved this kid, even if he would probably never said it out loud, he was proud of him and he also thought of him as a little brother, even after all this time.

"Go ahead, see you around Jer" Was all he could mustered to say, Jeremy smiled at him and was out of sight in a second.

"Oh come Damon, be a man" He said aloud and laughed at his stupid reaction.

It was getting late so he decided to persuade the lab technician to get him the results of Grayson's test by tonight, he had a responsibility to Jeremy, and even to Elena to save their dad, and he wasn't going to disappoint them.

He finished his rounds, and they promised him the results for next day, so he could head home if he wanted, but going to the boarding house and having to deal with the Lexie situation wasn't exactly his favorite way to spend the night, he went to check up on Grayson before deciding what his night plan was, he saw the clock on the hallway it read 2:00AM, time had gone without his consent, he went in the UCI and after checking all the vitals, he sat down in a chair beside Grayson's bed, probably the one Jeremy or Elena we're using before they went home.

"Never thought that the first time I would talk to you after 2 years would be like this" He said feeling weird to be talking to a comatose patient who wasn't even of his liking "The good thing is that you can't fight me or ignore me, do you have any idea how much you disappointed me? I worshiped you men, and you let me down, and it felt worst coming for you than it did coming from my own dad, because you always had my respect" Damon was silent for a few seconds, they was so much he wanted to say to this men, and he wasn't even conscious to hear him out "I'm a great doctor, and I'm going to show you how wrong you were about me, I would have also loved your daughter forever if she had let me, and know that because of your stupid ideas about how life should be everything is ruined, don't you get that my life was perfect before you went out of your way to make me miserable? What did I ever do to you Grayson? I thought you saw me as a son, I guess I was wrong one more time, one more person that I couldn't read right" He was wasting his time having a monologue with a person that wouldn't appreciate anything he had to say, today was a good day for stupid decisions apparently.

"You weren't wrong you know, he did see you as a son" She commented entering the room, she had probably been listening to his rambling for a few seconds.

"Are you in the habit of listening to other peoples conversations?" He said looking at her from across the room.

"I am when the person is talking to my unconscious father, Damon someday you will have to forgive him you know" She said quietly probably trying not to get him worked up.

"Maybe if he explains to me why he did what he did I could get some peace of mind" He commented.

"He had his reasons surely, but he isn't perfect and he made mistakes, just like we did" Elena stated siting in her father's bed.

"I'm looking forward to seeing his face when he wakes up and realizes that I'm the one who healed him" He said not wanting to keep the mistakes talk alive.

"He will look at you with his big blue eyes and say something like he knew you could do it" She stated looking at her father tenderly.

"I want him to be pissed, otherwise it's not that fun" Damon accepted.

"You think you can work it out when he wakes up?" Elena inquired with a hopeful tone.

"You're pushing too far Elena; I agreed to treat him that's as far as I can go" He replied firmly, ignoring the disappointment passing through her face.

"I better stop pushing before you disappear" She mumbled.

"How it is that in your twisted mind, I was the one who ran?" He couldn't believe that she could still throw that in his face when it was more than clear that the one who decided how things were going to go was always her.

"You left town" Elena stated avoiding his stare, probably because deep down she knew her argument didn't made any sense.

"After trying to make you come to your senses for 3 months" He fired back without hesitation.

"You mean after sleeping with every girl in town?" This conversation was beginning to get out of hand, it didn't make sense to keep it going, but he couldn't stop himself, letting her have the last word was not an option.

"Says the girl that went after my little brother" He argued and she let out a frustrated sigh.

"I didn't-"Damon cut her words with his own, before she could explain herself.

"Look we are going to be around each other for a while, and since according to everyone we didn't actually happen, you wouldn't like my brother catching us in the middle of a fight, so I think we should make a truce, you get out of my way and I will do the same with you"

"Fine, let's have it your way as always" She exclaimed irritated.

"This would have never happened if it was up to me" He said unable to control the words coming out of his mouth, he gave one last look around before exiting the room in 3 long steps, he shouldn't have said it, but his mouth always had a mind of her own when he stood in front of the Gilbert girl, he should have been used to it by now.

He went to the doctor's launch bathroom, splashed some water on his face and pondered what the best course of action was, in that moment it was clear to him that the only way to avoid a future conflict in his already mess up life was to star doing things differently. When he arrived at the boarding house the grandfather clock read 4 am, he went up the stairs and sat in her bed, gave a her a quick peck and she immediately woke up.

"I thought we were fighting" She said taken aback by his sudden gesture.

"Yeah but I don't want to anymore" Damon said holding her in his arms and kissing her neck softly "I just want you Lex" he whispered before kissing her in the lips slowly and carefully waiting for her actions to give him the go ahead. She began kissing him deeper and he fell onto her never letting their lips part, and that was all the reassurance he needed to carry on and make the most of the moment she finally agreed to grant them.

_**Keep telling myself that it won't take long till  
I'm free of my disease  
Yeah well free of my disease  
Free of my disease**_

**AN: **_Questions? Suggestions? Requests? Every feedback it's very welcome! Have a nice day!_


	5. I Almost Do

**AN: **_This was fast wasn't it? Hope you like it! Thanks to every favorite/follow and especially for those who take the time to review it's great to get some feedback it helps a lot!_

**Five: I Almost Do. **

_**I bet you think I either moved on or hate you  
'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply.  
I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say "Hello" to you  
And risk another goodbye.**_

**Elena's POV**

Two days had gone by since the night she saw Damon in her father's room and all she could think about other than her father's condition was Damon's face when she implied for the second time that week that he was the one that ran away, she was mad and usually that got her to say things she didn't mean and didn't really believe. She wanted to blame him for breaking her heart but that was not the case at all, it was the other way around, she broke his and her own in the process, she was young and thought her dad had to have a point in saying that she was too committed too soon, and that Damon was not the right men for her. She crumbled under the pressure and threw away the future she had dreamed of with the eldest Salvatore all in one go. Stefan led her to the table at the grill and she smiled at him, she was losing it, she was thinking about his brother with him by her side, she felt guilty and ashamed of all the lies she had told him or better yet the truths she hadn't.

"This was a stupid idea I should take you to the hospital and let you take care of your family, I don't know what I was thinking" He said taking her hands in his and beginning to walk back to the door they had just entered through.

"Stefan I won't lie and tell I'm in the mood to celebrate, but I do needed a distraction I've spent the last 5 days locked up on that hospital and the worst thing is there's nothing I can do to help, so let's stay and I promise I will try to look a bit less miserable" Elena said giving him a quick kiss as he smiled at her.

"I don't know how you do it, you're so strong and I'm incredibly lucky to have you" He confessed with a spark in his green eyes. She was the worst person in the room, if he only knew what she was thinking before he would realize that she was the lucky one, she didn't deserve his kindness or even his love, but she wasn't strong enough to tell him everything and take the risk of losing him. It was as Damon had said too late for honestly.

"The birthday boy is needed at the bar!" Said Damon calling Stefan over, Elena watched Stefan while he joined Damon, Alaric and Matt at the bar while she went over to the girls table, were Lexie and Caroline were apparently getting along very smoothly.

"Lena I'm so sorry I haven't been to the hospital this past few days, work has been crazy I promise I will be a better best friend this week" Said Caroline giving her a small hug.

"There's really no case in you joining me there Care, I'm mostly sitting outside the UCI being helpless" Elena confessed frustrated. She couldn't help her father, the only thing she could do was get Damon on aboard and since that was already done she felt completely useless.

"Exactly why I should join you, that's what friends are for at least will be helpless together hon" Replied Caroline softly. Caroline was always so kind and supportive that she sometimes forgot all about high school Caroline and her horrible attitude, of all her friends she was definitely the one that had changed the most, she had grown up into a beautiful, caring, loving person and she was also successful in her event planning business, because really who knew more about partying and organizing than Caroline Forbes? She was the best and she even did events in a couple other towns nowadays.

"Thanks Care, maybe you're right and I'm in need of some serious girl time" Elena accepted forcing a smile to her best friend.

"Don't mind me" Said Lexie looking a tad out of place.

"If you came to town more than once a year maybe we could convert you into the sisterhood" Commented Caroline teasingly.

"Yeah Lex haven't you considered moving into town?" Challenged Elena and Lexie gave her a look.

"Actually Elena now that you mentioned I might start looking for a place here, it's not settled yet but apparently the music scene in town is growing and the record label is interested in me staying in Mystic Falls for a while"

"That would be so awesome Lexie, we certainly need more girl power in our group of friends" Cheered Caroline immediately.

"No kidding" Added Elena annoyed. The doors of the grill opened and Caroline ran from her seat at the table to the arms of a visibly happy Tyler Lockwood. Elena looked at Lexie and then back at the boys who were still talking at the bar. Damon gave her a smiled that she later understood was meant for Lexie who smiled back amused.

"So this isn't uncomfortable at all" Said Elena looking at Lexie across the table, this dinner party was starting to read disaster all over it, she didn't need this right now her father was supposed to be her top priority but she couldn't keep his mind off the Damon and Lexie situation, since it bothered her like hell no matter how out of line it was.

"It shouldn't be, but you're fixated on making this rough on Damon and me" Replied Lexie without much energy.

"Just tell me something Lexie, how long has this thing between the two of you has been going on?" Elena didn't care, it wasn't her business. But she had to know.

"It doesn't concern you Elena" Tell me something I don't know she thought.

"I know, but humor me"

"He didn't cheat on you, if that what you wanted to know, he respected you too much for that" Lexie accepted giving Elena an indifferent look.

"You mean he loved me too much" Ranted Elena unable to fight it.

"It's sad that you need to hear me say it to believe it, but he loved you and you told him to leave you alone and when he finally did you hated him for it. Don't make it more complicated than it was, there wasn't anyone else, he just got tired of your mixed signals" Clarified Lexie who didn't look very pleased with the current conversation but was still acting rather controlled.

"You don't know anything about what happened with us, so don't act like you were there" She had to control her tone of voice that was starting to get out of hand.

"Elena believe me when I say that I have heard this story a million times, maybe I wasn't there but after a while it sure feels like it"

"So he still talks about it?" There was some kind of hope in her voice, hope Elena wasn't aware she had in store for him.

"For heaven's sake, you're in your boyfriend's dinner party, you're taken and you still want to know if you have a hold over Damon?" That was the last straw Lexie was exasperated and close to shouting.

"Of course not, I know that he's happy with you" She replied acknowledging what he saw in his eyes lately.

"You don't get it do you? He-"Began Lexie but was rapidly interrupted by Stefan as he and the boys finally approached the table.

"Have I told you how glad I'm to have my best friend around today Lexie?" Said Stefan charmingly while sitting beside Elena and holding her hand.

"Well you can say it again, I don't mind" Lexie replied smiling happily at him while Damon took the seat beside her. And everyone else grabbed a chair and sat around the little round table in the corner of the mostly empty bar, it was a slow Saturday night for the Grill.

"Guys I think we should find my best friend here a nice, good man so she decides to stay in town for more than a few days" Suggested Stefan half joking.

"Who says she doesn't have one already?" Added Elena.

"Yeah Lexie, do you have anyone worth talking about?" Inquired Caroline arriving at the table with Tyler and joining the conversation.

"You could say that…" Replied Lexie subtly looking at Damon, Elena was sure nobody else noticed but for her it was impossible not to.

"Oh my God! Now you have to tell us his name" Squealed Caroline excitedly.

"Let her be Caroline, not everyone likes to talk about their intimacy as much as you do" Commented Alaric earning a death glare from Caroline.

"Guys calm down" Intervened Stefan foreseeing a fight between Alaric and the girls since Elena was also looking at him like he was a dead man "If she doesn't want to make it public yet, that's her call and we probably don't even know the poor guy" Lexie looked thankfully at Stefan relieved that the spotlight was off from her.

"So I kind of have an announcement to make" Said Damon earning a few amused stares mainly from Alaric and Matt "Remember a minute ago when my baby bro said you didn't know the poor guy? We'll he was wrong because you know me from way back" He finished grinning at his puzzled group of friends.

"Did you just implied you are the guy who Lexie is seeing?" Asked Stefan frowning.

"Brother I've been thinking about a couple of things today, and realized I been a bit of an hypocrite, because I blatantly tell the truth to anyone who will listen however sometimes the really significant stuff gets stuck inside, so as a birthday present for you I'm admitting that I kind of have a crush on Lexie right here" Lexie looked as surprised by his statement as Elena felt, Damon admitting publicly to everyone that he liked Lexie was a big thing for him and she knew the confused looks on everyone reflected that perfectly. He wasn't the guy who made romantic public announcements; he was more a doer than a talker.

"Can I just say what everyone else is thinking? What the fuck Damon? Since when do you even stand Lexie, don't get me wrong she's a great girl, in fact-"Began Stefan still really shocked.

"You don't need to convince me, if anything you should convince her to at least give me a chance" Said Damon with an unflinching smile on his face.

"Lexie? Are you going to speak at all?" Asked Stefan, everyone else was paralyzed, even Caroline was speechless.

"I may or may not have come here for you birthday with some ulterior motives" Said Lexie smiling guilty at Stefan.

"So you like each other? You like, like him?" Stefan kept the conversation alive since everyone else was still processing the situation.

"What are we in preschool?" Stated Damon mockingly and the guys laugh a little while Caroline seemed torn still.

"Yes Stefan, believe it or not your brother here isn't just good looks even if he tries to prove the contrary on a daily basis, I do like him" She admitted finally, Elena was beginning to feel like she need to get out of there, she couldn't stand another comment about how much they liked each other.

"This is probably on the list of things I would had never seen coming and judging by everyone else's reaction I guess I'm speaking for all when I say that" A second after Stefan finished his sentence everyone decided to have an opinion, Caroline was cornering Lexie and asking a million questions while Tyler and Stefan interrogated Damon, all hell was breaking lose but Elena didn't want to hear a single word about it, she went to the bar to grab a drink and was rapidly accompanied by Matt who went behind the bar and gladly poured her a nice bourbon.

"I figured you were going to need something stronger than your usual girly cocktail" He commented innocently, but Elena knew very well when Matt Donovan was trying to fish for information, she had dated him for about two weeks back in junior high and the boy had been one of her best friends ever since, he suspected she was reacting to Damon's announcement but she didn't want to make a bigger deal out of things.

"Your bartender/psych thingy is not going to work with me Donovan" She replied emptying her tumbler in one go.

"I wasn't even trying Lena, but if you ever need to talk about it you know where to find me" He said pouring her another drink which she drank in a second.

"There's nothing to talk about, thanks anyway" Elena told him and went back to the group before someone realized she was missing and drinking the issue out of her mind.

"Ok enough! No more questions. Gosh I mean we're not even in a relationship" Exclaimed Lexie making everyone quiet for a second.

"Yet" Finished Damon while flashing Lexie a charming smile. Everyone began laughing and the show was back on, Lexie looked like she was enjoying the attention even if she would deny it, and Damon wouldn't take her eyes of her; Elena on her part couldn't take it anymore, the night was over for her, she approached Stefan told him she needed to go back to the hospital and that she was sorry for not staying with him, she kissed him briefly and after a few apologies from Stefan about not being able to come with her tonight, she took a cab and went straight to the Mystic Falls General.

She was sitting on the waiting chairs right in front of the ICU doors as she had been for the last couple of hours, alone letting her thoughts wander around, she was scared about her father's condition, even if she was trying to be strong for everyone around her, she couldn't handle the idea of losing him, she wasn't ready it wasn't his time yet. On the other hand Damon's declaration at dinner was messing with her mind, did he really liked Lexie? Or was he just trying to make her mad? Would he be capable of doing something like that? Messing with people's feeling just to get back at her for leaving him? She could convince herself that was the reason behind it all, but deep down she knew that his face was sincere when he said it, and he looked at Lexie with a spark that wasn't there with everyone else.

The elevator doors opened startling Elena who was almost falling asleep by now, she saw Damon coming out and heading towards her while trying to read some files he was carrying.

"I thought you went home with Lexie" Said Elena surprising Damon who apparently hadn't noticed she was there, he looked up at her and she realized he looked tired and anxious which of course wasn't a good sign.

"No I had to check some things out first" He responded distracted looking back at the papers in his hands.

"Thank God for your dedication" She replied giving him a soft smile.

"My dedication isn't getting me any answers yet" Damon said a bit frustrated.

"Come on Damon, it's been a long day, tomorrow everything will be clearer" Elena stated trying to cheer him up, he was the only hope she had of seeing her father healthy once more.

"I hope so" He said sitting next to her in the chairs "I have some questions that maybe you could help me with" Damon turned around facing her and looked at her intently, she felt like he was trying to read her and she wanted to let him know how much she missed him, how much she wanted to be able to call him and ask how his day had gone, how much she missed the simple things they did together, it was ridiculous, it was selfish and more than anything it was probably just triggered by jealousy and insecurity. She couldn't keep doing this to herself.

"Okay, shoot" She replied after a few seconds of silence.

"Is everything alright? You seem off" He said a bit worried.

"This hasn't exactly been the best week of my life but hey nothing that getting my dad better wouldn't cure" Elena admitted in an attempt of being honest, to a point at least. Damon looked at her curiously she wasn't sure if it was because he knew there was more to it or if there was something else running through his mind, but she had to admit that having him this close to her, was the best she felt all day.

"There's nothing I want more in this moment than to have him wake up and smile at you" He said and then looked away for a second, it seemed like he wasn't expecting to say that at all. And Elena wasn't either.

"Having you in charge makes me feel like that's going to happen soon, I trust you completely Damon" She glanced at him and he gave her a half smile.

"Wouldn't it had been nice to have you feel like that a few years ago?" Damon mumbled and Elena couldn't believe her ears, he was bringing it up? Again?

"What do you want from me? I said I was sorry there's nothing else I can do about it now" She mumbled back.

"Do you at least regret it?" He said staring at the floor like all the answers he need it were right there.

"My answer won't change the past Damon" Elena replied quietly. Her heart was betting fast, her hands were sweating and she felt like she was going to faint, it didn't make sense because he wasn't even touching her but the fact that he kept bringing it up, even after his declaration to Lexie meant he wasn't over it, even if she had hurt him, there was still a part of him that couldn't let go and she was glad that she wasn't the only one wondering what would had happen.

"You're right forget I even asked" He said looking back at her in doctor mode. "Let's talk about your father's symptoms before you brought him in, I know it's kind of an obvious question but has he been in any accident lately that could've affected his chest?"

"Not that I know off" Elena replied simply.

"According to his chart he hasn't had any pneumonia so that's not it, has he been coughing regularly?"

"A little but I guessed it was because he was smoking again, you know that when he gets stressed he smokes" She said and he nodded.

"Right, well maybe it was that cigars but again it could be anything" Damon stated running his hands though his hair, he used to do that a lot when he was worried, apparently he still did.

"Don't get discouraged by this, you're going to get some answers soon" She said supporting him as best as she could, given the circumstances.

"Soon maybe be too late Elena" Damon was acting like the weight of the world was on her shoulders and she didn't want him to feel pressured, even if she had him as her only hope. "Has he been somewhere where he could have been exposed to toxic gases?"

"I would have to check with Stefan but I think he was working on some case with him down at the fertilizers plant"

"Good that's good, I mean it could be a lead" He said "I'm going home in a few minutes, wanna a ride?" He mentioned looking a little more hopeful than before.

"No, I'm staying the night" She answer and he moved his head disapprovingly.

"Why don't you go home? You aren't doing anyone any favors by exhausting yourself" He asked irritated.

"Careful there, it could look like you care" Replied Elena giving him a small smile which he returned almost immediately.

"Oh we wouldn't want that, would we?" He smirked and she let out a laugh.

"Lexie wouldn't appreciate it" Elena said seriously breaking the funny banter they had going on before.

"Don't confuse things Elena; I'm trying to be a decent human being remember? It's not personal" He said getting up from the chair and giving her a serious look "Get some rest, I'll see you tomorrow maybe" And with that he walked away without turning back to glimpse at her again, he used to do that all the time, even if he was just going to the bathroom or the kitchen every time he left her he gave her a last look while walking away it was kind of their thing even if she had never told him out loud that she had noticed. In that moment she realized that for the rest of her life she would always remember every single look he ever gave her, he was after all the one that got away and those didn't let you forget them.

_**And I just wanna tell you  
It takes everything in me not to call you.  
And I wish I could run to you.  
And I hope you know that every time I don't  
I almost do,  
I almost do.**_

**AN: **_Forgive any grammar mistakes or misspelled words please, English it's not my first language and I don't have a beta :) hope have you enjoyed it none the less. _


	6. Too Close

**AN: **_Sorry for the wait had a bit of a writer's block, the story is back on track let's hope you like it. Favorite/Follows and very specially comments are the best. Thanks for the support. Don't forget to tell me what you think and/or want for this story. :)_

**Six: Too Close. **

_**And it feels like I am just too close to love you,  
There's nothing I can really say.  
I can lie no more, I can hide no more,  
Got to be true to myself.**_

**Damon's POV**

It was early morning, the night before Damon had learned that Grayson had been possibly exposed to toxic gasses, leading him to believe that the cause of his sudden respiratory problems was going to become clear to him sooner rather than later. After doing his usual rounds his first order of business was to have a talk with Stefan about the supposed case he had been working on with Grayson, of course that would have to wait a few hours since Stefan had drank a little too much yesterday and wouldn't be up for a couple more hours.

He looked at his charts and saw that the only patient he had left to check up on was Grayson, he began walking there before realizing that he would surely find Elena sleeping by her father's side, he wasn't exactly avoiding her, yet he send an intern to make sure Grayson was stable and went to the cafeteria to get some coffee, Elena Gilbert was not going to be part of his morning routine, she was in his head enough as it was.

"I've been meaning to ask you something" Said Alaric approaching him and handling him a cup of coffee while they both headed to a table and sat down near a clouded window.

"I have a feeling I won't like this" Replied Damon gazing at his best friend and sitting back on the uncomfortable cafeteria chair.

"Do you know what you're doing Damon? Because personally I don't think getting Lexie in the middle of this is such a good idea" Ric said playing with his cup of coffee incessantly.

"I like Lexie, and if you're asking me if I meant what I said yesterday at the grill, I did" He responded.

"Damon I don't doubt that you like her, it's more than obvious that you do. But this whole secret relationship you and Elena had is like a time bomb, and I'm afraid it will go off soon and everyone around it is going to get burned" Ric explained letting the coffee on the table and searching Damon's gaze for a reaction.

"It wasn't a secret relationship, or at least it wasn't meant to be one" Was all Damon answered.

"It's a secret from the people more affected by it. Don't you think its ridiculous that after all this time Stefan doesn't have a clue that she was your girl first? And you keep making googly eyes at each other making it so fucking evident" Remarked Alaric "You can either come out with it, tell Stefan the truth or you can keep ignoring it but I'm afraid that's not going to last very long"

"We have bigger problems than our teenage dramas Ric, Grayson is in a very delicate state, Miranda is sedated, and do you really think Elena needs me to go tell my little brother about that time we were in love and so on?" Damon replied stubbornly making his point very clear. "I'm not a fool I know when Stefan finds out our brotherly relationship is dead, I can live with that but first I have to make sure Elena has her father's shoulder to cry on, in case he's stupid enough to break up with her"

"My last question was actually going to be do you still love her? But you just made pretty clear that's never going to change, no matter what you said about it" Damon looked back at Ric perplex, he opened his mouth to said something but nothing seemed to come out, he was speechless "Save whatever smart response you have, and just do me a favor and keep Lexie out of this mess would you?" Asked Ric, he tapped Damon in the shoulder and then left him all alone with his suddenly loud conscience.

He pondered for a moment the truth in Ric's words, maybe he was acting recklessly, maybe he was unconsciously putting Lexie in a position where she would get hurt, but wasn't it over? He honestly didn't thought him and Elena had any chance of ever getting back together, what was he supposed to do? Stay alone for the rest of his life just to make sure nobody ended up in the crossfire if one day they decided they wanted to be together? Would he take her back if she ever asked him to? The questions were all running through his mind, without an obvious answer, he felt so unsure of everything. When Lexie arrived in Mystic Falls a week ago he thought everything was finally coming into place, he could one day marry her, have some kids, keep working in the hospital, and buy a house, that sort of normal life he had hoped for, but at the moment everything seemed so far off. He needed a break from thinking about his future; he wasn't getting any answers anyway.

Damon took his phone and dialed his brother number waiting for him to pick up after a couple of rings, when he didn't he left him a message asking him to call him back as soon as possible. He was in his way to his office when he found a cheerful blonde in the hallway, she smiled at him and he thought how strange it was for her to do that, considering the jerk he was with her in the past.

"So I was looking for Elena but apparently she's not with Grayson, any idea where she could be Salvatore?" Caroline said without any trace of hate towards him.

"How I am supposed to know that blondie? Do I look like Elena's babysitter?" he replied with a smirk.

"Well no but you sure know her well enough to know where she could be hiding" She said with a playful tone that had him once again confused by her attitude.

"Are you high Caroline? I'm really confused by this sudden amiability you're displaying towards me" He finally confessed trying to understand what her angle was.

"You know you're not exactly my favorite Damon, and you gave me reasons enough not to like you when you played around with me and rejected me later. Until recently I didn't understood how that was possible I mean, wasn't I sexy enough for you? Anyways-"Damon stopped her for a moment and Caroline shocked him once again by letting him speak first.

"I never told you this blondie, but I'm actually sorry for the way I behaved. I was a jerk and you didn't deserve that, and to be really honest sex was great, that was never the problem" He said sincerely while giving her a half smile, he didn't know why but he felt like apologizing to her was something he should've done a long time ago, she was a nice enough girl and he was a bastard to her, even if he was having a tough time after his mother's death, it wasn't fair to her.

"I wasn't exactly the best version of myself back then besides I didn't have the personality to send you to hell, so we can agree we both screwed up" She stated with a smile.

"I don't get why you might think I know where Elena is, but I don't" He said continuing their earlier conversation.

"You can stop the act, she told me everything" She said and he looked at her perplex, what was going on with Elena Gilbert? She wanted to keep it quiet, she said that it was best that way, and he let it pass because all he wanted was to be with her and sneaking around behind peoples back was fun, then her family found out and they were only a secret to their friends and then everything went to hell, but what he didn't understand was why after all this time she had told Caroline? Knowing she was completely incapable of keeping her mouth shut.

"Why would she?" He said because it was all that came to his mind.

"She was feeling down, and I practically had to drag it out of her but she finally confessed that you two were together some time ago" She admitted.

"Elena was down because of me?" He asked attentively. So it was stupid of him to make such a question but he couldn't restrain, he wanted to know if he still had an effect on her.

"I couldn't tell you that could I? It would go against my best friend confidentiality agreement"

"Are you really deciding to stick to that now?"

"Very funny Damon, I can't tell you and besides didn't you say you have a crush on Lexie now?"

"I do, I'm just curious about this, that's all"

"You two are idiots, and you've made your bed so you'll have to lie on it. Now really where is Elena?" Caroline said still smiling, it was begging to get creepy she was a cheerful girl but never when it concerned him, he wasn't used to all this smiley faces.

"Here" Said Elena's voice behind him, she approached them looking like she could use some sleep and maybe a bath, she looked terribly tired and he was about to give her a lecture about how she should take care of herself when she casually questioned him and Caroline "What were you guys talking about?"

"I was asking him were to find you, he said he didn't know" Caroline replied simply, without actually lying to her friend.

"Elena go home I swear if I see you looking like that later I'm personally telling the nurses to keep you out of this hospital, I don't care if you don't want to, you have to get some sleep and food in you. Caroline get her out of here" He commanded aggressively.

"Let's go" Said Caroline and Elena just looked at him without having the strength to even disagree anymore. The girls began walking towards the exit and his phone rang signalizing his brother was finally up after almost 12 hours of sleep, whereas his girlfriend was sleep deprived how lovely and considerate of him.

"Stefan get your ass to the hospital right now" He insisted, not in the greatest mood.

"What's going on? Is Elena okay?" Stefan replied still with a sleepily voice.

"She's fine I just send her home, I need to talk to you about Grayson, its important"

"I'll be there in half and hour" He responded and disconnected the call.

Damon was putting his cellphone in his lab coat when it rang again, without checking the caller id he responded irritably.

"Don't even try to tell that you need more than half an hour to get here, come on man" He said into the phone, the person on the other side of the line chuckled softly.

"You need me?" She said seductively.

"Well if you can come by in 5 minutes I might make it worth your while" He stated back at her, and she laughed. "I'm sorry Lex, thought you were Stefan"

"That's why caller ID was invented, so these things don't happen"

"Forgot to check, I'm kind of in a mood"

"Care to share?"

"Well Stefan might be involved in Grayson sickness somehow, and Elena refuses to take proper care of herself"

"I'm sure everything will work out babe"

"Oh so I'm babe now? And you call me to ask me about my day? Lexie are we in a relationship?" He said mockingly at her with a smile on his face, that she was missing obviously.

"If you keep playing your cards right, you might get yourself a serious girlfriend"

"I like the sound of that, and maybe tonight I can take you out so we can figure this out in person. What do you say? Would you go out on a date with me?" He asked not sure what her answered will be, Lexie was very hard to read usually, she always kept him on his toes maybe that was why he liked her so much. Before she had the chance to answer his pager went off. "Lex one of my patients is coding, see you tonight" He said breathlessly disconnecting the call while running towards the stairs to his patient's room as fast as he could. An hour later Damon was finishing his chart, the patient was stable and his mind was slowly calming down after all the commotion it was involved in. He looked up from the chart at the nurse's station to see Stefan heading towards him.

"I've been looking for you for a while but they told me you were with a patient" Stefan said explaining his delay. Damon looked at his brother who was fashionably wearing sunglasses in the poorly lit hospital hallway, he was more than likely hung over, and in any other circumstance he would give him crap for it, but it wasn't the time or the place, there were far more important things than Stefan and his drinking habits.

"I was. Look I just wanted to ask you about a case Grayson was helping you with? Elena mentioned you went out to the fertilizers plant?" He demanded wanting to get answers as soon as possible.

"Yeah we went there like 4 or 5 times, one of the workers got sick and Grayson was the one who treated him, apparently there weren't covering the safety measures for that type of facility and people were getting sick. Grayson said we could sue their asses if we found enough evidence" Stefan responded rubbing his temple anxiously. "I had no idea he could be exposed Damon. Am I responsible for what's happening to him?" He finally asked alarmed.

"I don't have an answer to make you feel better, I'm sorry but it's possible that he inhaled some toxic gases and considering his age and his smoking habits maybe he was more vulnerable. Look for now all you can do it give me all the info you have on the case, including the name of the patient that started all of this" Damon commanded unsure of how to handle the situation, he wasn't particularly in the mood to make his brother feel better, and besides Stefan was never to blame, everyone would happily support him no matter what the circumstances were. He was the good guy, and that the way the story always went for him.

"His name is Ben McKittrick; he went to high school with us. I'm going to the office to get all the files I have on the case. I'll be back soon" Stefan explained "And Damon? Could you please don't tell Elena about any of this yet? She's not really speaking to me much about this things, and I don't want her to pull farther away, she needs me and if she finds out she probably won't want me near her" He stammered and went away before Damon got the chance to give him a response. Was he about to go confess to Elena that her precious fiancé might be the indirect responsible for her father's condition, or was he staying it out of it like he should. It didn't concern him, as a doctor it had nothing to do with him, he just had to make his research and bring Grayson back, as a brother the more rational thing to do was to don't say anything, but as a man there was a part of him that wanted to tell her how she made a mistake choosing Stefan, even if it was irrational, even if he knew deep down it wasn't really his brother fault.

A couple of hours later Caroline entered his office in frenzy and as soon as he looked up at her she knew Elena wasn't okay.

"Where is she?" Was the first thing he asked getting up and rushing to the elevator with Caroline close behind him.

"In the E.R, she was about to take a bath when she fainted. Thank God I saw that she wasn't feeling well and insisted in helping her otherwise she would have hit her head badly" Said Caroline while they were ridding the elevator to the first floor. Damon was listening but felt like he wasn't there. It was the strangest feeling. He got to the E.R and the nurses were already giving her some serum, he told everyone to move and began checking her vitals, the nurse that brought her in said she was just a little weak and should wake up in a couple of minutes. Damon told everyone to leave her alone, closed the curtains of the cubicle and stayed alone with her. He must have checked her vitals at least ten times in the last five minutes, he needed her to wake up, and he knew it wasn't that rare for her to have fainted but he just needed to know she was okay. Other five minutes went by before Elena opened her eyes slowly, trying to figure out where she was.

"Hey there sleeping beauty" Damon said softly to Elena who looked at him confused for a minute before realizing were she was "Can I say I told you so?" He joked and she smiled for a second.

"What happened?" She mumbled weakly.

"You fainted, since you're not eating or sleeping properly your body decided to give you a little warning" Damon replied sitting next to her on a plastic chair.

"I can't be here, there are enough Gilbert's admitted as it is" She said trying to get the IV out her arm which Damon immediately stopped, he grabbed her by the hands and made her be still she tried to fight him but wasn't even remotely strong enough. She finally relaxed but he didn't let go of her.

"This is how this is going to go. You are going to stay the night in a hospital bed and tomorrow when you can get off it you're going to eat and sleep well. Elena this is not a joke. I understand that you're worried, that there's a lot going on but please remember that we need you strong and healthy alright?" He told her as softly as possible, he let go of her hands and was surprised when she took his again not letting it go.

"I don't deserve you Damon, I never did. You should hate me, and instead you take care of me better than anyone" She said looking at him intensely. He felt a rush of blood throughout his body, she made him feel alive, just with one touch and a few words, and he was right back to how he felt for her four years ago.

"I'm a doctor Elena, I'm a pro on taking care of people" He said because getting more personal was not a great idea.

"You make me feel safe, and I think it has nothing to do with you being a doctor" She whispered caressing his hand softly.

"You're drunk on medicine Gilbert, stop being charming with me" Damon knew he had to behave, he had to be on self-defense, he couldn't let her lure him away. He pulled his hand away from her and went back to sitting in the chair.

"Why did you come back?" She muttered. It took him by surprise that she was making this question now, after all the times he had envision her asking him why, he never thought it would be under this circumstances, and honestly he didn't know if telling her the truth would change anything or he want it to.

"What? When?" Damon said pretending he didn't understand her question.

"A year ago you came back to town. Why did you?" She said in a whisper.

"You need to rest Elena; I'll tell you that story another time" He promised, even if he wasn't sure he would.

"I won't let it go, you'll have to tell me" She insisted with a little more strength in her voice.

"As you told me yesterday, my answer won't change the past" Damon repeated her words back to her, it was the only way he could think of to take the subject off the table. He wasn't prepared to go back down memory lane. And ultimately it didn't do anyone any good.

"But it could change the present" Elena said with confidence and maybe a little bit of hope in her brown doe eyes. And in that moment, he knew that it could. That confessing his reasons to come back to Mystic Falls, would probably get him the girl. But what about Lexie, and Stefan and all the other people involved, what happened when in a few years Elena decided she didn't want him again. He couldn't take that risk, there was too much at stake and he was done being selfish, he had to think about how this would affect the people he cared about. He was going to be the better man; he was going to let her go. But knowing that he had the power to get her back was more devastating than ever when he knew he wouldn't.

"It won't Elena" He whispered sympathetically "We had our chance, we blew it, and it sucks. But life goes on" He finished opening the curtains to go look for Caroline, she seemed to want to say something but she understood that the moment was gone. He looked at her one last time, her eyes were sad but when he looked again she had an almost unnoticeable smile, he finally walked away and it was the hardest thing he had done all day.

_**There's nothing to say, nothing to do.  
I've nothing to give,  
I must live without you.  
You know we're heading separate ways.**_


	7. I Try

**AN: **_This was a fun one to write, even though Elena's POV wasn't really working out at first. Hope you enjoy this little attempt at making then talk about feelings (SPOLIER ALERT!) Read and review and you'll make my day!_

**Seven: I try. **

_**I may appear to be free  
But I'm just a prisoner of your love  
And I may seem all right and smile when you leave  
But my smiles are just a front**_

**Elena's POV**

She woke up disoriented for the second time that day, she looked around for a second and realized she was lying in a hospital bed, a different one from before, they must have moved her into a room considering Damon said she had to spend the night. He was obviously gone, he ran from her and her questions, and he was right to do so. She shouldn't have asked, it wasn't her place but then again every time she was with him she couldn't help getting caught in the moment.

"Welcome back" Said Caroline leaning in the doorframe "Feeling better? When I got here you were fast asleep, you have been for the past 4 hours" She explained softly.

"I don't even know what happened, the last thing I remember was Damon leaving the E.R" Elena commented astonished that she had slept that long.

"Maybe he drug you, he say you need to stop thinking for a while"

"I bet he did" She responded mockingly.

"Are you going to make me ask you what happened or are you just going to tell me?" Caroline asked obviously sensing something went down between them.

"I might have asked him why he came back and sort of implied things could change between us" Mumbled Elena really fast, just saying it out loud made her realize how wrong it was of her to do so, she was being selfish and reckless with the people she loved, specially Stefan.

"What did he said?" Was all Caroline could ask.

"He didn't answer my questions, and told me in other words that we were over for good" She replied with an inch of disappointment in her voice.

"You know he is bluffing right? Elena he loves you, even Lexie knows that, they're just playing dumb" Caroline returned in an attempt to be supportive. "The question is, what are you going to do about it?"

"I love Stefan Care, I don't know even know why I acted that way before" Elena admitted looking intently at the clock that read half past nine, as if there was a secret behind it that she hadn't yet discovered.

"Sweetie I get that you don't want to hurt anyone, and I'm not saying you should. It just that sometimes you have to be a bit selfish and make the choices that are right for you" She looked back at her best friend with a disbelieving look.

"You're one to talk" It wasn't her intention to make Caroline feel guilty but she couldn't handle the heart-to-heart at the moment, so she just deflected. "If I remember correctly you're still with Tyler, which means you decided that it wasn't worth it to be selfish"

"It's not like I can get out of a 6 years relationship knowing I'm not making a mistake" She admitted "I love Ty, I have ever since I can remember"

"But there's no rush, no excitement" Elena declared, without a room for questioning.

"Those things go away, you can't build a lasting relationship on those" Caroline concluded.

"So we should settle?" She asked bluntly.

"I don't think it's called settling if you love him"

"It is if you're no in love with him" Elena admitted, they were in the middle of a relationship crisis and the more interesting part was that neither Tyler nor Stefan were aware of it. She knew for sure she loved him but she didn't know if she was in love with him anymore. Seeing him, having him near it didn't make her feel excited anymore, maybe that's the way love grows. Her mother used to tell her she couldn't live her life being on edge forever, you couldn't keep the butterflies or the aching need of the other person your whole life, nobody could live that way. The thing was, when she saw Damon, she believed she could.

"Ladies, I hope I'm not interrupting anything important" He said knocking softly on the door before entering the room. "Damon told me you were here and visiting hours are almost over so I thought I could take you home" Caroline gave him a disbelieving look and Elena had to contain a laugh. He had to appear precisely when they were talking about him of course.

"I brought my own car, so there's no need" She answered him coldly, Klaus laughed.

"Can I at least have a word? Unless you need to keep avoiding me for a while" He asked with a playful smile plastered on this face.

"Klaus I'm busy taking care of my best friend right now, I don't have time for this" Caroline answered.

"Visiting hours are over Care, and I want to go check on my dad. So you could go with him if you wanted to" Elena dared to say, knowing she was now in a lot of trouble for siding with Klaus.

"Thank you very much Elena, I hope your father gets well soon. I just brought Damon some papers on the case your father was working with Stefan, he couldn't come, he's going crazy thinking all of this is his fault. You should call him" Klaus said informing Elena about the mental state of his partner. She always thought they we're an unlikely par. Stefan always so civil, so controlled, so caring and Klaus always so reckless, and impulsive and selfish, but apparently their friendship and partnership was all about complementing each other, they both were better attorneys when the joined forces.

"I will thank you for telling me. I was very confused as to why he wasn't here when I woke up" Elena confessed.

"Visiting hours are over Miss Gilbert, your friends have to go" Said a sympathetic nurse poking her head out the door.

"We're leaving" Said Klaus flashing a smile to the nurse who immediately nodded and went away. "Let's go Caroline"

"Fine, fine. Take care of yourself Elena. I'll be here tomorrow morning" She said hugging her friend goodbye "To kill you for making me do this" She whispered very low so only Elena could hear, before pulling away and leaving the room with an smiling Klaus by her side.

Not five minutes went by before, Jeremy entered the room and gave Elena a kiss on the cheek.

"Thought I told we didn't need another Gilbert in a hospital bed" He said teasingly.

"Yeah I know, you and Damon can stop saying I told you so. I get it I'm sorry" Elena confessed gently.

"Good. I'm glad Damon's giving you crap about it too." He said smiling "I've missed having him around" Jeremy said, and Elena obviously knew what her brother way doing, and she let him get away with it.

"Me too Jer" She admitted.

"So why-"He tried asking but she cut him off before he could formulate the questions.

"Don't. My love life is a complicated thing, but I'm with Stefan and we have bigger concerns than that at the moment" Elena explained and her brother nodded in agreement.

"Mom woke up; want me to take you to her?"

"Yes please, can I really get off this bed that easily?"

"Damon said that if there was any problem to go get him, so I think we're covered"

"Let's go then"

Jeremy went to get her a wheel chair and after helping her to get on it, which was more difficult than it seemed, they headed down to the 4th floor to her mom's room. Miranda was awake reading some trashy magazine when they went in, and she immediately put it away.

"Hey mom, catching up on your reading material I see" Jeremy joked. Her mother had the annoying habit of reading the worst things, trashy magazines, bad romance novels it was like she had the eye to find every bad piece of literature that was out there. So they always made fun of her for it, to the point that she began hiding her books so they wouldn't find them.

"Leave her alone Jer" Said Elena "How are you feeling mom?" She asked concerned by her mother mental state.

"Well I'm better now that I see you're okay, and I'll definitely be much better when I can talk to your father" She admitted.

"It seems Damon is making a lot of progress with some info I gave him yesterday" Elena commented casually.

"He said that he was very close to finding the cause of the problem, so the solution should become clear soon" Miranda replied and after seeing Elena's confused face she continued "Damon came to see me when you were sleeping, he explained everything and told me to be patient, he looked a bit stressed but I'm sure he's going to do everything in his hands to save your dad" She explained.

"So he came here" Elena said waiting for a reassurance that it had happened.

"Of course he did, he's the doctor on the case I'm the wife. It's normal procedure"

"Yeah but I seem to remember you two didn't get along very well"

"Look honey, I know you have history but he is a very professional doctor and he wouldn't let any of it get in the middle of this case. Have a little faith everything is going to be alright" Elena looked at her mother impressed, this was the same woman who spent the last two days sedated because she couldn't handle her father's situation and know she was all faith and hope. She knew that deep down her mother was a very strong woman but she certainly didn't expected her to be this calm, this soon.

"I believe mom is right this time sis, dad is going to be okay" Jeremy said and Elena figure he was trying to keep their mother mood up more than anything else.

Her brother took her back to her room to let her and their mother rest; he said something about calling Tyler to hang out because apparently the boy wasn't so oblivious to his relationship crisis. Elena promised to call him if anything came up and Jeremy was on his merry way. She later decided to call her boyfriend who apparently didn't have the guts to answer his phone, it was unbelievable that after everything she was going through with her father she was supposed to be the one to make him feel better, Stefan was acting immature and selfish, and she couldn't take it. She left a message saying that if he wanted to talk he needed to show up, he didn't call or text back.

The conversation with her mom in which she told her Damon was stressed out kept playing on her mind, she wanted to make him feel more at ease, that way he could work better, with a fresher mind, or so she told herself when she decided to go look for him. She went to his office, and asked around but anyone had seen him for the last hour. Elena figure there was just one place she had forgotten to look at, and rode the elevator to the last floor looking like a mental patient running around in her hospital gown.

"Fancy meeting you here" She said after opening the roof top door and seeing Damon sitting in an old beach chair near the border. He looked back at her and gave her a small smile before answering.

"It would have been if you weren't in fact looking for me" He said giving her an amused look "Can I help you?"

"Well I actually came to try to help you" She confessed sitting next to him on the floor. "It was nice of you to go talk to my mom, and she told me you were a bit stressed out, so I'm here to help you blow off some steam"

"I'm sorry Elena, I'm not sure that's such a great idea. I'm positive my little brother wouldn't like it" He responded wittily with a smug smile.

"That's not what I meant" She stated returning his smile.

"What did you mean then?" Damon asked while stretching in the chair like he was actually in a tropical vacation and not in a hospital roof at night time.

"How about if we go for a ride, I'm even willing to let you sing trashy 80s songs if you feel like it" She offered, sensing it was an offer he wouldn't refuse.

"As fun as that sounds, you're a patient in this hospital and as a doctor I wouldn't recommend you to leave" He said professionally.

"Oh come Damon, live a little. We both need a break. Let's go" She laughed at his attempt to be a big boy.

"Fine let me go get us some coats; I'm warning you I'm singing Kiss at the top of my lungs" He told her getting up and helping her to do the same.

Damon went to get coats and she went to the west wing were the exit to the doctor's parking lot was, around five minutes later he came down the stairs holding two black coats, Elena realized the one he gave her was her father's and she suddenly got a lump in her throat. She had to forget about her problems for at least a couple of minutes, they both had to; she swallowed a couple of times and followed him down to his blue Camaro. As she got in memories began flooding her head, they've spent so much time riding around in it, that everything was connect it to the car somehow.

"Where are we going?" Damon said after starting up the car, in the darkness of the night all she could see was a light sparkle in his deep blue eyes, she used to get lost in them and even now she had the tendency to look for them when she woke up in the morning, instead she was greeted by a pair of green ones that stared are her like she was the best woman in the world. And she felt guilty knowing that she didn't give him the same adoring look when he surely deserved it.

"Just drive" She said getting back to the moment and Damon laughed probably knowing that was going to be her answer all along.

"You're not doing your job very well Elena; I need the trashy music you promised me" He commented while she turn on the radio and began looking for a good song. After a couple of newscasts, country music and top 40 stations she finally found an 80s one that was playing one of Simple Minds hits. She laughed at the irony of the situation, Damon began singing out of tune and she sincerely felt like thanking him for making her laugh.

"Don't you forget about me. Don't. Don't. Don't" He sung as loud as he could. She joined him for the rest of the chorus and then they both began laughing at the absurdity of it all.

"It had to be that song huh?" He mentioned quietly while lowering the volume. She gave him a look.

"I believe you said we didn't have a song"

"We didn't until you decided that one was ours"

"The first time I ever looked at you, and saw you, not just as my father's intern, or Stefan's brother. The first time I saw past the jerk façade I was listening to this song" She confessed bluntly.

"How in the world do you remember that?"

"You came into the living room and asked what I was watching and the Breakfast Club was just ending, I remember a lot of things Damon"

"What changed that day?"

"I don't know it was like I began to see you clearly. You were this older guy with a bad boy complex and everything in you pointed out to the contrary, you were good to Jer, my dad was so excited about having you as a student, you were generous and passionate about helping people, and you looked at me with curiosity, like I was a mystery you wanted to uncover"

"Funny that after all this time you're still a complete mystery to me. I can't seem to read you right, ever"

"Can we be friends Damon? Like real friends that talk about stuff? Because I've miss you, and I don't want us to be strangers ever again"

"I missed you too" He said gently, the road led them to stop sign and Damon finally looked her in the eyes "We can't be friends, we don't know how to" He took his eyes back to the road and drove around the park a couple of times.

"Can you park the car?" She asked

"Elena-"

"Don't just please stop the car" Damon gave another round to the park before stopping in the high school parking lot, they were right in front of the so called stoner's pit. He sighed. She took his face between her hands. "I know you hate me, and I know you don't want me back but please don't tell me you can't try to be my friend"

"You're getting everything backwards, I can't hate you, I've tried but every time I have you near is like I forget how much pain you caused me and go back to-" He stopped himself, and she wasn't sure what he was going to say but she had a feeling that she would have liked to hear it. "I'm leaving Mystic Falls. As soon as your father is better I'm getting out of here"

"What? Why would you do that? Your friends are here, Stefan is here, I'm here"

"My life it's not what I thought it would be, and I'm tired of waiting for the day everything magically goes into place. I'm changing things and my first big change is leaving this town"

"You think you're going to find what you want out of here?" She asked because frankly the other comments she had on the matter were highly inappropriate.

"It's not about what I want anymore; it's about growing the hell up" Damon answered looking out the window reflectively, she took his hand in hers which made him look back, he stared at her for the longest time and he stroke her hand softly when he began speaking again "We fucked it up Elena, we could've had everything we dreamt of, we should have 1.5 kids right know, a little girl and a baby on the way, the little red house near the creek and you'd work from home and I would spend less hours at the hospital to be with my family, I would've even agreed to have a dog by now—Look I'm sorry, I'm terribly sorry for bringing this up" He said in a whisper and she hugged him tight and kissed her cheek and they stayed like that for moment. Elena was holding back tears, because she could picture everything he had just said, and she still wanted that, with him. And she realized that falling in love was the easy part, the only easy part, finding someone you had a connection with was hard and staying together was tough, but she could not believe that if the universe had given her the opportunity to meet him and to love him, it wouldn't give her the chance to figure it out and be together. There had to be a way for them to find their way back to each other.

"I'm going to start the car and drive you back to the hospital and we're going to pretend this conversation never happened but before we do that, I need to tell you that I love you today, in this very moment and that despite how things turned out I wouldn't change a single thing of our time together" He was about to cry too, and Elena couldn't believe he was opening up to her like that, he had never been so honest, so raw about his feelings for her, or about anything else for that matter.

"Damon-"She tried to said but he immediately put his finger on her lips, making her stay quiet.

"I want you to be happy, but I'm going to ask you one last favor, if you don't love my brother please let him go. He doesn't deserve to be anybody's second choice especially after we've lied to him about everything" He asked her in the softest tone he could mustered, he went back to look out the window, apparently he was trying to stay collected but it was too late for that she thought.

"You love me, and I love you. So why are we even discussing not being together. I know there's a lot we have to work out Damon but I'm up for it, just say the word and-"

"I don't trust you Elena, your family doesn't want me, we've lied to everyone, I don't have a fight in me anymore I can't fight this, I'm sorry but I give up. It was a pleasure to fall in you with you" Damon finished immediately starting the car and forgetting all about the emotional turmoil he had just caused her. They we're silent for the rest of the ride and when they arrived at the hospital and she tried to talk about it once more and he said was "It never happened" and walked away from her. When she went to get him at the roof all she wanted was to take his mind of the case, and all the pressure he had, now all she felt was broken. She felt a pain so intense she thought she was going to faint all over again. But she didn't and that was the worst part of it all.

She had been trying to sleep for hours, no matter how many times she turned and tossed, sleep seem to evade her completely. She was replaying his words, the way he looked at her, everything about that moment feel surreal. The Damon that sat before her in that blue Camaro a few hours ago was someone she had never met before, but it wasn't that he had changed entirely; it was that he had discovered a way to get in touch with his emotions, in way even she couldn't. He was controlled, but full of sentiment. He was being reckless and at the same time totally careful with every word he said. She didn't understand the depth of her need for him until tonight and that could've been her biggest regret yet.

Elena looked at her phone for the millionth time in that long night. It beeped signalizing she had a message; she thought she was imaging things when Damon's name came up on the screen. The text read

_**I found a way to cure your dad, will need help. Tell you about it tomorrow. Get some sleep for the love of God.**_

She stared out her bedroom window and saw a moving shadow in the distance, he had been checking up on her. There was faith to be had.

_**I try to say goodbye and I choke  
Try to walk away and I stumble  
Though I try to hide it, it's clear  
My world crumbles when you are not here**_


	8. Fix The World Up For You

**AN: **_Sorry for the long wait, I'm still here and planning on updating a little sooner next time. Hope you like it. Please let me know what you think and I'll be sure to answer to your comments as soon as possible :) _

_-D_

**Eight: Fix The World Up For You**

_**But I've been doing all I can  
To stop your falling  
Even now I'm holding my breath for you**_

**Damon's POV**

When he got to the hospital the night before after the disaster that was his ride with Elena, he thought he was going to go insane. He had made a big mistake; his attempt at being honest had ended up being more than any of them could handle. What had gotten into him the second he told her that he loved her was an enigma. He did love her, but he couldn't be with her, so telling her that he loved her wasn't much of an example of his good judgment.

His way to react to the disaster he had unraveled? Research, work, read and finally come up with an action plan to save Grayson's life, after all it was the only way he could leave this town unharmed.

He arrived at the boarding house in the early hours of the morning, after he had spent all of his night in the hospital working and checking up on Elena every few hours, she obviously couldn't sleep and that was in part his fault. Why would he be so stupid to confess a love that didn't change the fact that he couldn't be with her?

Damon went up the stairs to the room that was temporarily assigned to Lexie carrying a tray of breakfast goods. He opened the door trying to be as quiet as possible and finally sat down next to her on bed. He moved her hair out of her face with a gentle touch and slowly whispered in her ear.

"Good morning beautiful" She moved a bit, but was apparently still dreaming. "I brought you some breakfast and some loving on the side" He said trying to be corny knowing that if she was awake she wouldn't hesitate to make fun of him. Lexie opened her eyes gently and gave him a startled look, she pushed herself up and moved a bit away from him before speaking.

"What are you doing here?" She stated simply.

"Well I'm bringing my girl some food" He replied confused by her mood.

"So now I'm your girl? Even though you stood me up completely yesterday and didn't even bother to call" Damon stood up abruptly and began pacing the room.

"Shit" He muttered "Lex I completely forgot I was at the hospital and it was a bit hectic so-"

"You said you wanted to have diner you said you we're going to pick me up and I waited for you like a damn fool. I'm not even your girlfriend Damon, this is the time in the relationship when you're supposed to do everything right, what the hell is wrong with you?" She looked at him trying to remain composed, but he knew that his mistake was getting to her.

"I screwed up, I'm so sorry. Look ill make it up to you. In fact I came here to get some things before I go back to the hospital but babe after tomorrow a lot is going to change. There's so much we have to talk about" He said first pleadingly and then letting his excitement for the future they could have together show.

"Just tell me something were you with her?" She said simply, waiting for his response to probably analyze the hell out of it Damon thought.

"I'm treating her father Lex, I'm spending-"He began saying, he didn't want to lie to her, also saying the complete truth wouldn't help his case at all.

"That was not my question. Were you alone with Elena at some point last night?" Lexie said sharply not letting him even justify his answered.

"Yes" He said knowing she would just dismiss whatever else he tried to say.

"Great" She said standing up from the bed and heading to the closet, she took out a suitcase and began filling it with clothes "Go back to the hospital, forget about this. I'm heading home"

"No, no wait Lex, it's not like that Elena and I, and we're never going to be back together. I told you I want you" Damon tried, knowing well the battle was already lost.

"You want me because you can't have her. I tried to trust you Damon you said you wouldn't hurt me, so I'm revoking your chance to do so. Goodbye" She said in an indifferent tone and without even looking at him, so caught up in her packing that she basically kicked him out of his own house.

He stood there for a couple of minutes analyzing how to approach the situation, maybe if he stayed and waited for her to calm down he could talk her out of leaving, and that way he could get a chance to change her mind about leaving him. But deep down he knew that wouldn't happen, the thing about Lexie and him was that they were too similar in some ways, the worst ways, in this case her stubbornness and lack of trust in him were going to keep them apart probably for good.

"Hey what happened? Was she yelling at you?" His brother said when he came out of the room and closed the door behind him.

"She was dear brother" Damon responded nonchalantly, not knowing what else to say, he couldn't exactly explain the issue to his unknowing brother, not that he would anyway.

"What for? Did you break up?" He asked worriedly, but Damon was almost sure it was more for his best friend's sake than for his.

"We weren't exactly together so I guess she didn't. But if what you are asking is if she will ever willingly fuck me again I guess not" He replied heading towards his room with Stefan hot on his heels.

"Was that supposed to shut me up? Come on, whatever you did was too fast even for you, I gave you at least a month in the bet we did at the bar" Stefan mentioned casually, as if Damon love life was really just a way for them to have fun.

"You were betting on my relationship? Why am I not surprised?" He responded indignantly.

"Because it's something you would have done yourself" Stefan replied smirking, Damon just wanted to punch him in the face so hard. In his mind that would make everything okay.

"Oh look Steffy is going badass, are you under the influence again little bro?" Damon commented completely aware on the effect the subject had on his brother.

"Damon, there's no need to go there" He responded passive-aggressively.

"I'm sorry to bring up the fact that you have an alcohol problem you're unable to accept" The eldest Salvatore said while taking a clean change of clothes and various articles from this wardrobe. He didn't need to face his brother to know he was giving him a death glare.

"No one is ever going to be able to put up with all your crap, you're going to be alone for life" Said Stefan glancing at him indignantly one last time before leaving the room and slamming the door on his way out. People always got so touchy when you talked about real issues, wasn't being honest the best policy? It wasn't working out for him so well lately; he would have to change his strategy.

Damon drove his blue Camaro out of the gates of the Salvatore property with a thousand things running through his mind, or better yet a thousand people, Elena, Grayson, Lexie, Stefan all this people that were affected by every single thing he did lately. He cared about Lexie, he wanted to love her, he wanted to be able to make her happy but his heart was distracted and occupied with the presence of a certain brunette that wouldn't leave some vacancy for any other girl. The way he saw it the next time he tried to get involved with someone it would have to be a person he didn't care for at all, that way if things went wrong he wouldn't feel as guilty as he felt now. Hurting Lexie, because even if she was acting all tough he knew he did, was the last thing he had intended and there he was succeeding at making it happen.

The loud ringtone of his cellphone starlet him out of his thoughts, he pick up with a smile after seeing who the caller was.

"Little Gilbert, future colleague, former little brother. What can I do for you?" He said feigning good humor.

"Hey D, so my sister told me you have some kind of treatment for my dad? Could you maybe elaborate on that?" Jeremy replied enthusiastic about his father new found shot at life.

"Of course men, I'm on my way to the hospital right now. Meet me at my office in ten, and please get Elena too I'm going to need her help with something" He replied immediately.

"Sure thing dude, see you in ten" Said Jeremy ending the call.

Damon arrived at the hospital and went directly to his office, Elena was waiting outside of his door with a very tired look, this time he had a hunch it wasn't just her father condition that had kept her up all night, he wasn't trying to be arrogant but he was pretty sure he was a top issue for her at the moment. He was going to make things right, like he told her yesterday he would just act as if nothing ever happened. Maybe that way she could go back to her life and forget all about it.

"Elena" He said as a greeting opening the door for her to go in "Where's little Gilbert?" Having Jeremy there would have made everything easier.

"He decided to stay with mom" Elena replied siting at one of the visitor's chairs while he opened up the file and sat down across from her.

"Well let's go straight to the point then, as I told you yesterday I-"He began but she obviously cut him off before he could even being his explanation.

"Damon can we please talk about it? Before we get into this" She mentioned trying to catch his stare.

"There's absolutely nothing to talk about other than your father's health as far as I'm concerned" He said roughly looking her straight in the eyes, if he had to act all tough, he'll do it he was a pro at being perceive as the bad guy anyway.

"You know there was this small part of me that thought you had finally grown up, but I guess we're back at square one. Avoiding the problem" She said with a sigh, she didn't looked angry or defeated either, she just seemed really annoyed by him.

"Let's make a deal I save your father today and we don't talk about our problem" He said making air quotes with his hands, he looked actually pretty ridiculous doing it but he didn't care as long as she forgot all about the subject "at least until he is awake and kicking me out of the room alright?"

"It's not like I have any say in the matter anyway" She responded knowing him far too well.

"Perfect, now on to the important stuff. I'm not going to annoy you with all the medical specifics but basically your father has caught an unusual infection and I'm going to be using an experimental treatment that they're developing at Harvard med. I called them yesterday and they offered to send somebody with experience to help out, I said we didn't have the time so they just walked me through the procedure a couple times. I'm pretty confident this would work, and unfortunately we are running out of time as I already mentioned, so if you agree with me, I think we should go ahead and do this" He concluded looking expectantly at Elena. "So?" Damon asked a minute after when she was still looking at him wordlessly.

"I'll have to talk to my mom about it, but you're the doctor I trust you with this so I'm on board"

"Ok, so this is what I need from you to make this happen, go talk to your mom get her to sign this petition to the hospital board and see me at the meeting room upstairs in 20 minutes. They won't think this is a good idea so I'll need you to tell them how much your father deserves this chance and how much you think I can do it. I'll need your best performance Elena, give your acting school talents some use" He finished and she looked like she didn't appreciate much his last comment.

"I don't need to act to make them understand my desperation for my father to get better or to make them know I believe in you either" Elena replied confidently.

"Great so go on, I'm going to get some help while you talk to your mom" He said getting up and opening the door for her once again, she headed for the elevator while he went to other way to the cafeteria.

"I need your help" He said to his best friend who looked at him unimpressed.

"Why do I have the feeling you're about to ask me something I'm not going to be comfortable doing" He said knowingly.

"Because I am, Rick I need assistance there's not a dam person in this hospital that gives a crap about Grayson Gilbert's health, or at least they don't care enough to help out. I need someone in there with me, I swear your name won't appear anywhere if this doesn't work out but I need you buddy" He said hurriedly knowing well that time was what he didn't have.

"I can't believe I'm agreeing to this, I can't believe you're putting your career on the line for her" He responded rubbing his eyes carelessly.

"That's not why I'm doing it" Damon stated strongly, Rick let out a laugh in return.

"It might not be the only reason but I'm pretty confident is the stronger you have, you want to play the hero for her, at least this once" His best friend sometimes knew his hidden intentions before he figured them out. Deep down Damon knew that even if he wouldn't be with her, having her happy and well was important for him. Saving her father was the best present he could give her before disappearing from her life forever.

"Shut it Ric, go get ready, I'm doing a little pit stop on the board reunion see you in 30 minutes tops" He said simply because one he was tired of being a sentimental guy, and two because frankly he couldn't admit to his friend that he could be right about his motives.

Damon headed to the conference room, Elena was once again waiting outside for him, for a second he thought how he was going to miss having her around this much, even like this, she gave him an encouraging smile and just like that he went in with her made his point, explained the procedure and hoped that the were as set on saving Grayson as he was.

"So this is why we need you to help me keep Doctor Gilbert alive, you know as well as I do that he deserves everything we can do for him. So forget about the possibility of the bad outcome and have hope like I do that he's going to respond well to this" He declared closing his little speech with a million dollar smile, that he later realized wouldn't charm anyone considering most of the presents were men in their 50s with no attraction to him whatsoever.

"Dr. Salvatore is this goes south, your career and the hospitals name are on the line are you aware of that fact?" Said one of the oldest doctors, he believed his name was Frank or something; he was used to see him around the cafeteria but never had a real conversation with him before.

"Yes I am. I will face whatever outcome if this goes wrong, which like I said before it won't, we can make something up you can say it was all my fault we can get the hospitals name out of it" He said firmly, knowing well that the ultimate concerned of a hospital board was to make sure the said hospital didn't get bad press.

"I'm not sure you should be risking your career for this" Said Alaric standing up to make this statement more dramatic. It was kind of illogical for his friend to speak out even if moments before he had confirmed his participation on such procedure. Maybe he was trying to give him an out for the last time.

"It's not up to you, like I said it's going to go well, he's going to live" Damon repeated for the umpteenth time on the past couple of minutes.

"What do you think Miss Gilbert? Do you agree with this?" Maybe-Frank asked looking at Elena expectantly. Did he really believe the daughter of the patient in discussion was going to refuse his help?

"Yes, I want to give a try but I don't think that Damon should take the fault for this is my dad doesn't make it, it's too much" She said looking at him with her big brown eyes full of worry.

"What do you propose?" Dr. Lockwood, head of the hospital board, asked.

"She doesn't have a say in the matter like I said before, this is my decision. Grayson did a lot for me when I was younger, I wouldn't even be a doctor if it wasn't for him so I take all responsibility. Now stop wasting my time and give me the ok to go save his life" He snapped looking far more annoyed than he was a few minutes before, how many times did Damon had to tell this people to let him do his job? They were acting like Grayson was just anybody, not one of the most brilliant doctors in the damned hospital.

"We need your signature in a couple or papers just in case" Dr. Lockwood concluded after a minute of silence.

"Sure whatever where do I sign?" He asked instantly, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

"You'll have to wait for our legal department to make an appropriate document with some confidentiality clauses and such" The doctor explained calmly, as if he didn't understand what the rush was all about.

"I don't have time for this shit, give some blank sheets" He said cursing unconsciously in front of every authority figure in the hospital.

"I don't advice you to do that" Maybe-Frank said looking at him disapprovingly.

"I don't care, here" He began singing about 10 pieces of paper and gave then back to Dr. Lockwood "You can do whatever you want with those. I'm going to go prep my patient. Thanks for your cooperation gentleman" Damon stormed out of the conference room and felt Elena and Alaric hot on his heels. He didn't want to keep talking about the damned procedure, he wanted to do it, he wanted to save Grayson once and for all and get back to his life. Stop living in the town that reminded him of every people who disappointed him, he was breathing heavily when he got to the elevator doors but of course as faith/karma or whatever reigned the universe would have it, the elevator wasn't there and Elena and Alaric caught up to him before he could get in. They all stepped inside, they were alone and Damon was doing his best to avoid eye contact with either of them.

"You're too emotional right know Damon, you can't do this procedure until you calm down" Ric said softly like he was talking to a mental patient that was about to commit suicide.

"I will be fine" Damon responded evasively.

There was a silence and he figured Ric and Elena had a silent discussion about what to do next because Ric suddenly pressed the next floor bottom and got off the elevator, leaving him all alone with Elena. She stood closer to him than before and suddenly took his hand in hers, he tried hard not to look at her but ultimately it was an impossible task. Immediately after he let his eyes wander to her she cleared her throat. Here we go he thought.

"Do you have any idea how reckless you're being right now? You're acting like a spoiled child who just wants to get his way no matter what the outcome is. Your career it the most important thing to you Damon, I know that and because of it I cannot let you do this. I-"He cut her off before she could continue her little selfless speech.

"Stop" He said letting a few seconds go by before continuing "I know you're good Elena, I know you want what's best for people and I know you feel a bit guilty about what happened to us back them, but I'm the one who's not going to let you turn my help down. Your father needs me, you need me. This is something I can do, I know what the consequences will be if I fail. I'm not planning on failing, I don't fail on medicine, and I don't let people die and most of all I don't let your father die. Ever. Especially not without a fight" He finished and a tear was rushing down her cheek and they were having a very intimate moment, he felt closer to her than he had since he came back, all this was happening in an elevator, the doors would open when they hit the ground floor and the moment will be gone, as they will be gone, this was goodbye even if she had no idea yet.

"Thank you" He was about to object but she was the one who didn't let him speak up this time "Let me say it, because I feel it. There isn't another person in this world that would have done this, for him and for me. I'm not saying the L word, because I now you wouldn't want me to. But let me say thank you and let yourself believe that I mean it more than anything" Damon looked at their still joined hands, and he wanted to think like a poet that their hands fit perfectly together, but instead he just thought about how even if it wasn't a perfect fit, he wouldn't change it for the world, and ironically he was giving up. He was doing his part on helping her out and then he would be gone, out of this town, out her life and far away from the hands that held his imperfectly.

And just like that the doors opened after what felt like a century or maybe a minute, and he let go of her hand and she removed the tears from her cheeks the best she could, they began walking to the final round of their time together. The last chapter of Damon's life in Mystic Fall, for better or for worse. He was either going to become a hero or the murderer of the man he once thought as his own father. The last thought that came to his mind before going in to inform Mrs. Gilbert and Jeremy of the situation was: No matter what happens, tomorrow it will be all over.

_**I, oh I, I'm gonna fix this world up for you  
I'll try, I'll try to build it all around you  
You'll never gonna have to be alone**_


	9. Wake Up With Me

**AN: This chapter is a little bit longer than usual, thanks for the reviews and support especially to the guests that I couldn't get to reply to. The title is a song from Gabrielle Aplin she rocks, so if you don't know her go check her out. Hope you like this one, and remember I love to hear your thoughts so share! Enjoy!**

_-D_

**Nine: Wake Up With Me**

_**It's hard to make a change  
Think of all the lies that we've been told  
Everything we have can all be gone before you know**_

**Elena's POV**

Three long hours had passed since she last saw Damon in the elevator and there was still not news on her father, if she kept pacing in front of the O.R she felt she was going to make a hole in the floor. Jeremy was drinking his 5th coffee of the day, while Caroline followed her movements across the hallway intently with her eyes, before going into the O.R they decided to sedate her mother so she wouldn't break down in the waiting process that was sure to be long. At least this way Elena had one less concerning thought on her mind. All she could do now was pray for her father and Damon and everyone else that was somehow involve with what was happening inside the O.R doors.

The sound of and opening door made Elena move quickly closer to the O.R door, it didn't open. She turned over and saw Stefan approaching them from the entrance with a sad smile on his face. He stood in front of her and without saying a word he hugged her tight for what felt like a life time. When he finally pulled away she started at him expectantly. Was he just going to stand there and say nothing after being MIA for the past 2 days? She wondered. He was beginning to get in her nerves, which wasn't really a difficult task considering everything that was going on, when he finally spoke up.

"You have no idea how sorry I'm for everything that's going on" He whispered lowering his voice so only she could hear him.

"Of course I don't. You haven't talked to me for days, what am I a mind reader?" Elena asked furiously and with a loud tone of voice, she was almost shouting. He looked around always trying to maintain their issues under the radar. Stefan took her by the hand and dragged her outside; she was even more infuriated with him for taking her farther from her father.

"I don't have time for whatever excuses you want to give me Stefan" She said slowly trying to control herself as best as she could.

"Look I now I screwed up letting your dad get involved in the case, I had no idea this could happen" He said very softly. She gave him an exasperated look.

"Do you honestly believe I could blame you for that? You didn't let my dad do anything he's a big boy he does what he wants, I'm not mad at you for not predicting the future" Elena confessed still not getting over her astonishment on the fact that he was blaming himself for something out of his control.

"You are not?" He said making sure he heard her right.

"I think you better go" She said as calmly as she could ignoring completely his previous question.

"I can't. You need me here" Stefan said still using his lowest tone of voice.

"I don't actually; I've been perfectly fine without for the last couple of days"

"Why are you being like this?" He asked and he appeared broken, as if it was really that unexpected that she would treat him indifferently after his recent actions or lack of them.

She looked pass him to the street saw cars passing by, heard the sound of the birds, bits and pieces of conversations from the people surrounding them, a siren approaching. The world didn't stop moving, even if her only concern right this second was her father, they world didn't acknowledge the significance of this moment, because for the universe people died every day and in the big scheme of things her father was just another human being. Elena thought about how much it would hurt if he died today, he hadn't let herself think about that possibility realistically but she knew there was a chance that he wouldn't make it. And she thought about telling her mother and mourning her father, she could picture the funeral full of people everybody telling stories about how great her dad was. She stopped her train of thought because she didn't want to keep projecting things that didn't need to happen yet. Of course she didn't want him to die. She wanted him to be part of her future, to be a granddad to her children, to give her advice even if she wouldn't always take it, and to be able to talk to him and make peace with the fact that he wasn't the one to blame for her breakup with Damon.

"Elena?" She heard Stefan whispered and she turned her gaze back to him. She wasn't ignoring him she just didn't know what to say to him.

"You said I could always count on you" Elena said slowly collecting her thoughts before continuing "And I did, for a long time but this week I felt completely abandoned by you"

"I'm so sorry babe; I know there are no words that can fix this but-"She spoke before he could continue.

"But the thing is" She added resuming her previous words "it didn't break me, and if I'm being honest I hardly thought of you this past few days. I'm angry sure, because you acted like a self-centered douche bag but it doesn't hurt as much as it would is I was-"She stopped abruptly and looked away from him again, she couldn't make decisions in this state. She was very emotional and it could become a later regret. She sighed heavily trying to think of a way to end the conversation before she said something she couldn't take back.

"What can I do?" Stefan stuttered and she silently thanking him for not pressing the subject.

"I would like you to leave please, we can talk about this another time" She mumbled not looking at him.

"Do you mean that? Because this feels like an ending" He mentioned full of worry.

"I need some space, today and maybe for a couple of weeks. In other words just continue doing whatever it is you were doing" So she said it, she was mad at him for making her feel like he wasn't the man she felt in love with, and maybe she was over reacting, because a week couldn't change 2 years of a good healthy relationship but the truth was she felt the distance between them grow and she didn't care to fix it as much as she should have.

"I deserved that" He remarked "I'm going to go but if you need anything" She nodded and he understood that the conversation was more than over at that point. Stefan gave her a hug similar to the one he had greeted her with, full of sadness and unsaid words, and walked away in the direction of the parking lot. She watched him get in the car and speed away, somehow she felt relived.

A couple of minutes went by as she stood outside the hospital looking around, remembering her earlier thought about the universe and how it just moved on, continued, the world never stopped moving, people kept living their lives in spite the trauma, the sadness, the really bad moments, life went on and she hoped, and wished and prayed that her dad could have a couple of other days, and months and years, and that her family could be healthy and happy. She was walking a fine line between hope and hopelessness, there was no way to predict the outcome, no matter how much Damon had promised to save her dad, she knew that he wasn't the one calling the shots, and however or whatever was out there bigger than them had it all figured out for them already.

"Hey" She heard him say and took a deep breath. If she turned around right now and look into his deep blue eyes the answer she was waiting for was going to be there, and there was no prayer that could change what she was about to discover she took another deep breath, counted to 10 and turned around slowly with her eyes closed. She imagined his eyes being light, warm and happy like the first day she told him she liked him, but them she thought how they could also be dark and sad like the day she let him go. It could go either way, and it was the moment to find out.

"Open your eyes Elena" He whispered and by the sound of his voice he was probably close enough to touch, she opened her eyes as slowly as she could and he glance back at her with determination, he let out a laugh but it wasn't really necessary because as soon as their eyes connected she knew her father was going to live, and that she could never pay Damon back for bringing him back to her. He hold her in his arms, tightly, strongly and she could breathe his scent, the one that she was always looking for in place were it wasn't anymore, like her sheets or his old leather jacket. She hugged him back and let herself caught up in the moment, in her bliss, in the emotion. Elena pushed her lips onto his fearlessly and after a two second pause he was kissing her back, she relaxed into him, kissing him like crazy and it was like volcano exploding after being inactive for years, she felt a rush coming down her spine and she didn't want to come back for air ever again, but as always 'ever' didn't last long and they pulled away from each other almost at the same time. There were millions of things going through her head. So much she wanted to say, she didn't know how to being telling him she wanted him, in all the ways she could have him. He smiles for a moment and she thought this was it. This was the exact moment everything turns around for the better, when destiny comes back into action.

"You're welcome" He said grinning "Go to him so he can see you when he wakes up" Damon offered.

"There's so much I want to say to you, like thank you for bringing him back to me and how much I-" He gave her another breathtaking kiss to stop her rambling, when they pulled away he put a finger to her mouth signalizing for her to be quiet.

"Elena you've been waiting for him to wake up for more than a week. This" He said gesture between them "Can wait" She gave him a quick peck and whispered thank you a thousand times before pulling away completely and rushing to her father's side.

She entered the hospital and all of the sudden things were good, the aseptic smell didn't bother her anymore and the nurses we're all smiles and the patients weren't dying and she felt content. Elena saw her brother and hugged him with tears in her eyes "He made it" he whispered not letting her go for a minute or two, next up was her aunt Jenna who had disappeared for a while and had apparently been crying all along, Elena let a few tears out and met her aunt in a close embrace, it was a hug-fest. She looked around for Caroline but she wasn't in sight so in the middle of her joy she just went to Ric and gave him a hug too.

"Thank you for this, I didn't mean to make you feel like you didn't know what you were doing before it was just-"She began saying but he interrupted her little apology.

"You trusted him more, and he is the best at what he does. Also I understand why ending things with Jenna recently would have that effect on you. No hard feelings on my part" Alaric said with a honest smile on his tired face.

"Ric you hurt her" Elena stated and pondered about elaborating on her thoughts about their relationship give him some advice, ask for him to enlighten her on his decision but then she remembered it was not the time or place, also Jenna kept giving her a death glare even if she was still smiling and crying, she actually looked very diabolic which scared Elena for a second because apparently Ric was still in the enemy list and fraternizing was not acceptable.

"I know that, maybe we can talk about this another time okay?" He said giving her a way out, he had probably also noticed Jenna's stare and was happy to get out of the way.

"We really should" Was all she said as he nodded and walked away disappearing into the hallway.

"Elena" Call out a voice from behind her, she turned around quickly and waited for one of the nurses to speak up "You can go in now, he should be awake soon"

"Thanks" She answered. She must have said that word a thousand times in the last ten minutes, and she was sure she would say it a couple thousand more in the following days. Still there was just one thank you that meant more, and she hoped he had understood that she would always be grateful for him and not just for giving her Grayson back.

Jeremy took her by the hand and they both when into Grayson's new accommodations, no more E.R's for him she hoped. The room was part of the luxury package the hospital offered mainly for the mothers to be, the ones who could pay for them of course, she felt they we're feeling a bit guilty for not being considerate enough of her father's condition, so they we're bribing them with a cool room. She didn't really care about any of it; she was so just glad that in the bed in the center of the room laid her father breathing on his own, a sight an hour ago she wasn't sure she would ever see again.

"Hey sis?" Jeremy began trying to catch her attention before continuing "There's um there is something I been meaning to talk to you about"

"Well?" She answered waiting for her brother to elaborate, he seemed unsure of how to say whatever it was he was trying to tell her.

"Do you know why Damon came back to town?" He questioned

"Jer whatever you know, just tell me already" Elena responded impatiently.

She was intently looking at him waiting for an explanation when a strong cough interrupted her train of thought, they both looked back at Grayson who had his eyes still closed but was moving his hands to his face. He opened his eyes slowly and gave them an attempt of a smile; he was sleepy due to the strong medication he'd been under. They moved closer and grabbed one of his hands each. Jeremy and Elena stood at both sides of the hospital bed; she was trying to keep back the sobs that were treating to come out and tears were rolling softly down Jeremy's face.

"And here you thought you could get rid of me" Grayson mumbled weakly. They both let out a giggle. Her father was the only man she knew that would make a joke about death not two minutes after getting out of a coma that lasted more than a week.

"Glad you could prove us wrong dad" Jeremy replied looking lovingly at Grayson.

"Kids you're stuck with me for a long, long time I promise you that. So before the sobbing gets out of hand, where is that lovely lady that decided to marry me once upon a time?" His voice was still failing him his words were barely understandable. Elena couldn't respond because obviously she was the one sobbing like crazy, Jeremy had a cleaned the few tears that were running through his cheeks to seem stronger or something that irrational. She was overthrown with emotion. And it made her heart fill with joy to hear her father ask for her mom. It marveled her that even 25 years later she was still the first thought that went through his mind, as much as he didn't always acted like it.

"She's under a sedative, she'll be here in a little while" Jeremy replied "If you want to be able to talk to her you better take a break dad"

"I've been on a break for enough hours as it is" He whispered because it was the only tone that he could muster.

"Days" Elena said to him watching him wrinkle his forehead in confusion "A week and a half to the day actually, you we're out for a while dad" she finished saying and he began coughing again, this time a little louder.

"You feel okay? You want me to call the doctor?" Jeremy demanded worriedly.

"I'm okay son, it's just… I didn't realize it had been this long" His voice was getting a bit stronger, but the coughs were still interrupting his speech.

"We were really worried and mom had a bit of a meltdown so Damon figured it was best to keep her sedated during your procedure" Elena explained to her father making circles in his hand with her thumb.

"Damon?" Was all Grayson asked, Jeremy and Elena exchanged a look.

"He's your doctor" Jeremy said softly waiting for his father to lose it. Grayson remained calm but to say he looked overwhelmed was an understatement.

"How is that—he wouldn't. You made him do it?" Her father asked looking at her. She negated with her head, words were failing her, maybe it was stupid but she couldn't come up with something to say to her father on the subject.

"He said you showed him how to be a good doctor so he couldn't let you die, apparently now you're even" Jeremy elaborated as much as he could.

"Son, could you please go get Damon? I need to talk to him, and also while you're out check on your mom. I'm dying to see her" He laughed weakly "Get it? Dying to see her" He let out another laugh, and Elena and Jeremy looked at him amused. They didn't know whether to laugh with him or to get him a CT. Finally Jeremy let out a chuckle and her father laughed again.

"You sure you feel okay?" He asked.

"Go get Damon, Jer I'm fine" Jeremy nodded gave Grayson's hand a squeeze and headed out to find Damon.

"Now how did you get him to help? And don't lie to me Elena" Her father said with a firm voice.

"I might have begged, but dad what Jer said it's true in the end he said he wanted to be even. He didn't do it for me" She explained with conviction. Even if a part of Elena hoped it was a little bit about her, she knew that in the end Damon had very conflicting feelings regarding her dad, and would've done the right thing eventually either way.

"Elena you shouldn't-"He began before she cut him off.

"Get involved with him again? I know dad" She confessed even if a few minutes ago she had kiss him like a madman and didn't regret it one bit, she knew her dad didn't approve and it wasn't the time or place to continue that conversation.

"That's not what I was going to say. Let me talk would you?" He said and coughed repeatedly for a few seconds "You shouldn't play around with him, he acts all tough but that man is more fragile than he seems" Grayson said and Elena looked at him trying to figure out when her father had a change of heart in relation to Damon? Was it that he felt some kind of debt with him? He still didn't know how things went down and how big had been Damon's risk when he decided to make the procedure, he would find out eventually though. Would it change everything? Would he give them their blessing?

"Dad I don't understand, I mean you always told me to stay away from him and now you think he's fragile?" She questioned.

"Lena you should know better than anyone than things are not always what they appear to be" Grayson coughed again and Elena was about to open the door to call the nurse when the door opened and a pair of blue eyes stared her down, she smiled brightly at him and he just gave her a half smile. He must be trying to act as if nothing happen for my father's benefit she thought, he was going to be glad to know that apparently Grayson now had another perspective, maybe he didn't thought he was a bad boy that would eventually break her heart anymore. Damon gave two longs steps and stood beside her father's bed. She came closer, facing him but separated by the bed were Grayson lay. How appropriate and symbolic to be separated physically by her father she pondered.

"Damon" Said her father between coughs. "I owe you one"

"Why is it that you are not enraged that I was the one who saved your life? That was supposed to be my payment" Damon replied letting out a sarcastic laugh trying to appear detached.

"I'm sorry to disappoint" Grayson answered, he looked up at Elena when he spoke again "Sweetie could you let us alone for a while? I'm sure Damon has to do some checkups and it won't be any fun to see your old man that naked" He tried to joke. Damon didn't even look at her.

"You sure dad? I mean I don' really mind" She said trying not to seem too pushy.

"I'll be okay Lena, see you in a bit okay?" He said coughing lightly

"Alright" She gave her dad a kiss in his forehead "And Damon?"

"Yeah?" He answered looking at her briefly.

"Take care of him please?" Which actually meant something along the lines of behave and she hoped he understood that. He just nodded and turned his gaze. Elena left the room reluctantly. She wasn't sure if leaving Damon and her recently-out-of-coma-dad alone was a good idea but obviously she didn't have a choice.

Elena began walking towards her mother's room to check up on her and maybe get Jeremy to go interrupt whatever was happening with her dad and Damon, instead she found Caroline walking in her direction, she didn't notice Elena at first apparently she had concerns of her own.

"Oh my God Lena, I'm so glad your dad is ok" She said hugging her.

"Yeah I don't know for how long" Elena answered and Caroline looked at her worriedly.

"What happened? Isn't he awake already?"

"He is, and he's also alone with Damon"

"Don't scare me like that" Caroline responded giving Elena a soft slap on her arm "I'm sure he's going to behave himself, after all he was the one who save him, it wouldn't look good if he murdered him now" She joked and Elena smile at her friend.

"So spill" Said Elena going straight to the point

"What do you mean Lena?" Caroline replied looking around the hallway suspiciously.

"Something's up, you have that look on your face when you need to talk about things before you explode, so come on spill" She answered knowingly while Caroline sighed deeply.

"Tyler might be breaking up with me" She confessed.

"Why would he do that, I thought things were okay between you two"

"Yeah there were, but remember the night I left with Klaus? Everything went downhill from there" Caroline said while they made their way to a small garden situated in the center of the building. "He took me home and we had kind of a moment"

"Did you—" Elena began.

"No, I didn't" She answered immediately "But I wanted to. Isn't that even worse?" Caroline asked with tears forming in her sad blue eyes.

"Care you're human, you're allowed to feel attracted to other people. I'm sure Tyler has felt like that at some point too. You didn't act upon it, there's nothing to be sorry for" Elena replied thinking for a minute about her situation with Damon and the kiss they shared. The problem was she expected to feel guilt but it never came. She had to make a decision, but for now Caroline's problems came first and she hoped she could give her a good enough advice.

"I don't know Lena, I'm feeling really crappy at the moment. The thing is the night after I left my phone at Tyler's by mistake and Klaus called me and texted me a thousand times, Tyler saw the cryptic texts and missed calls and began to make his own conclusions. He yelled at me and told me he couldn't believe I could cheat on him with that, and I quote, 'undeserving bastard' I just told him that we could talk things through when he calmed down and left. I never denied the cheating part" Caroline almost whispered.

"But you didn't cheat"

"I wanted to" Caroline repeated

"You're going to let him break up with you after something that you didn't do? I don't get it" Replied Elena confused.

"I know I'm not making any sense, I'm sorry. I'm all messed up"

"We could open a girls-who-cheat-on-their-boyfriends-club with the difference that I actually did it" Elena said without looking at Caroline.

"You did what?" Caroline practically yelled.

"I kissed Damon, and Care? I think I want him back" Elena confessed and Caroline held her hands tightly in a sign of support.

"Look I'm sorry for Stefan, but it was about damn time" Caroline responded letting out a laugh "The getting-Damon-back-party is now officially in session" She said giggling and Elena had no other choice that to let out a few giggles of her own. They were being horrible people, but it was great to know someone had your back at all times, she was glad to have Caroline on her corner on this one, especially because she knew it was going to be a hell of a fight.

_**And all I wanna say  
Is that we've been asleep for far too long  
I hope that we can find another place to belong  
So don't go  
Come close**_


	10. The Resolution

**AN: So longest chapter yet! This one is obviously a very important one, all of you who wanted to see what Grayson and Damon were talking about here you go, knock yourselves out, hope you approve. Enjoy the ride, and remember all the comments, follows and favorites are more than welcome and are also exactly the reason I keep writing this thing. Thank yous all around! **

**- D**

**Ten: The Resolution **

_**There's a lot that I don't know  
There's a lot that I'm still learning  
When I think I'm letting go  
I find my body it's still burning**_

**Damon's POV**

_Take care of him._ Elena's words resonated in his mind for a few minutes after she left the room, Damon didn't know what to expect of Grayson Gilbert, he was being quiet and it was beginning to make him uncomfortable, they were so many things that he had wanted to say to him during the years, he wanted to yell at him and let him know that he blamed him for all the heartbreak that came with Elena dumping him, on the other hand he wanted to ask why, for years he had wanted to know what had made him realize he was a piece of trash? How could he decide one day that he didn't care for him anymore and cut him completely out of his life and his daughter's? But no matter how many questions came to mind, he just stood there frozen, completely silent waiting for the elder doctor to star the conversation.

"So" Grayson said making at attempt at clearing his throat, which of course wasn't working because he couldn't stop coughing, it was a normal reaction, his lungs were getting used to breathing on their own again and it would take a while for the coughs to stop completely. "Tell me all about how you came to the decision of helping me"

"It doesn't matter, just try not to collapse again because I'm done saving your ass" Damon replied pacing the room for a lack of a better thing to do.

"Ok, well thank you Damon for everything. Even if I don't know the details I'm sure you did the best job possible" Grayson said frankly. "Would you seat down for a bit? You're making me dizzy with all that walking"

"I have patients you know, it's not like I have a lot of time for chit chat" He said standing still at the end of Grayson's bed.

"Oh I'm sure you're a very busy man Dr. Salvatore, but I have some overdue apologies to make so you can make a little time for that right?" He was smiling, and Damon felt as he was daring him to leave, which he would without hesitating.

"It's not necessary; I don't need anything from you" Damon replied coldly.

"Son can we be honest for a second?" Grayson said between coughs again. The mentioned of the word son got completely on his nerves, he tried to stay calm but what he felt was stronger than his conviction to appear unaffected.

"Don't you dare call me that, not after all the crap you pulled. I saved you because I couldn't live with your death on my conscience; it was a completely selfish act. So don't try to make amends now, I don't need your gratitude" He was infuriated, most of all because he couldn't figure out Grayson's mysterious change in personality.

"For God's sake shut up," Grayson yelled agitated his heart rate went up and Damon sat quietly by his bed side, he thought about Elena's previous words and what they really meant, he needed to try and not get on his nerves, as difficult as the task sounded at the moment. "I made a big mistake Damon; I did all the things I shouldn't have. I meddled in your relationship with my daughter, and I mistreated you eventually I drove you out of this town, your home, and there are not enough words for me to say how terribly sorry I am. I don't like apologies, you know I don't take them lightly and you do because we are the same Damon. So there I'm sorry, I screwed up and I know this doesn't fix anything but I needed you to know that I realize how big the mistake was and how completely unfair it was for me to do that to you" He finished coughing loudly and out of breath, his heart rate began going down and Damon pondered whether or not to tell him what he really thought. At the end he decided against it. It wouldn't change a thing either way.

"Ok" He muttered as a response to Grayson's big speech.

"I didn't expect you to forgive me but I would lie if I'd said I didn't expect some anger at the very least some yelling" Grayson commented with a steady tone of voice.

"It would defy the purpose of saving your life, you don't need the stress. And there's nothing I could say to you that could make the past better" Acting composed had become second nature to him after living with Giuseppe all his life, but he hadn't controlled his emotions this much in a long time, he obviously had a problem with father figures that much was obvious.

"What would make the present better Damon? I don't want you to waste your time hatting me" Grayson asked softly as if he was talking to a small child.

"I won't, from now on I'll probably never see you again, so don't worry about me. You didn't before" He had been hurt before, and this was showing much more than what he had intended to.

"Son I-"There was the word again Damon thought, and this time his self-control failed more miserably.

"I'm not your goddamned son, stop calling me that" The words came out in a shout.

"I disappointed you and I get it but you have to know that I had the best intentions" Grayson was being utterly calm for all the supposed truths he was sharing.

"Haven't you heard the way to hell is paved with good intentions? Besides you had you daughter's best interest in mind, I can respect that" Maybe respect was a strong word, but he did get some of the reasoning behind his past actions, Grayson wanted to protect Elena from getting her heart smashed by the town's reformed bad boy and in his attempt to do so he destroyed the boy's (his) heart.

"It wasn't about her, it was about you" Grayson called rapidly.

"That's bullshit Grayson and you know it" Was all Damon could respond to that stupid effort Grayson was making at calming his conscience.

"It isn't. Damon she was a kid, she wanted to have fun she was going to break your heart. You had all this plans with her and she didn't realize the seriousness of it all. I believed she was infatuated with you and would soon fall out of it. I was trying to spare you some heart break, I knew you wouldn't be able to handle it if it came later on, you were far too in love with her for your own good and when I finally told Elena I didn't want her seeing you anymore and she didn't defy me I assumed that I was right. But it was my mistake, she didn't meant to hurt you" It took a while for the older man to conclude his idea between coughs, when he did he was left out of breath. Grayson appeared sincere, his eyes where clear as he said every word but in Damon's mind it didn't make any sense.

"I don't believe a word you're saying. You said I wasn't good enough for her. You treated me like crap after that, and it wasn't just that I wasn't your favorite intern anymore it was that you completely discarded me for the rest of the school year, you decided that I wasn't worth it and that I didn't fit well in your perfect little family and your perfect little hospital" He sounded wounded and resentful, both of which he actually was.

"I felt guilty for breaking you up, for the pain I caused you and I couldn't even look you in the eyes anymore, I knew I was so full of shit. And I had to tell her I thought you weren't the right guy for her, I never said not good enough, I just told her you were too old to be dating a girl just out of high school. Damon if marrying Elena was your dream back them, you have to believe it was also mine. But I didn't see it; I didn't see my daughter as in love with you as you were with her" Every two words there was a cough and even if he knew it was normal, it was getting in the way of his anger. At this point everything Grayson said sounded plain ridiculous to him.

"She wasn't but it also wasn't your fucking decision to make" Grayson let out a laugh and Damon gave him a guarded look.

"I was wrong, in all of it. Mostly in believing that she didn't love you, because that girl that's probably standing outside that door waiting for you to come out of here hasn't been the same since the day you left" Grayson seemed honest, seemed to care about him, like it if he wasn't just excluding him for not being good enough, or because he was damaged as hell. He had tried to help him, to prevent him for getting hurt, but even if Damon could try to understand or believe the story the results talked for themselves. He ended up alone and heart broken and no words could fix that fact.

"How do you expect me to believe all this? I've been blaming you for all my crappy days for years, and now you want me to believe you were trying to protect me? I can't do that, I don't even know how" His head was clouded by what he believed to be true and this new reasoning Grayson was giving him. It made him uncomfortable to not be able to differentiate the truth from the lie.

"You are a son to me Damon. I care about you and I'm so proud of the man and the doctor you've become. I have followed your career closely all this years, and maybe we can talk about that later, the important thing here is this, don't ever think I don't think highly of you, if there is anyone I sometimes feel hate and shame towards in this room I assure you is myself" He declared looking away from him for a few seconds.

"You've always have you way with words that's for sure" Damon responded quietly, he felt like everything he believed for the past few years was a fraud, his perspective had been changed and he was too confused to be able to assimilate it yet.

"It's going to take some time kid, but I would love it if we could get our relationship back on track" For years he had wanted to hear his own father say that, but he never had. And now Grayson who he had considered a father and as such let him down was trying to mend fences, was he prepared to trust him again? It wasn't clear, he needed space and time to consider things carefully.

"I'm not saying no, I'm not saying I forgive you either, but maybe I could give you a call from time to time" He was compromising, mostly because he finally understood that the one who lost the most being angry was himself.

"Or you could just work with me again" Grayson replied with a soft smile.

"You're pushing your luck old man, plus I'm leaving town so I don't think that's possible" He said quickly rejecting his old mentor's idea.

"Why?"

"I got an offer I can't refuse, I did it once and it didn't exactly payoff" He was talking too much, apparently he'd been silent for too long and the words were falling out of his mouth, explanations that weren't necessary.

"Well Harvard isn't going to wait around for you forever, and I'm sure you can make it big out there. Be published; make a statement in the medical world. But it's that what you really want Damon?" Damon's mouth dropped, figuratively at least; of course Grayson Gilbert had a way of knowing everything about his life.

"How the hell do you know about Harvard?" He inquired dazed.

"I just told you I've been looking closely at your career for years, besides I have my connections. I was shocked to hear you turned them down a year ago, but when you showed up here I wasn't anymore" Grayson admitted knowingly.

"It was a stupid decision" He confessed.

"I'm sure that's what you thought when you saw Elena with Stefan, but you still stayed and now you want to leave?" Was Damon that easy to read? Because Grayson was making it seem as his intentions were public knowledge.

"I finally understood there's nothing for me here" And it sucked, he added mentally.

"I promised myself I wouldn't meddle again in my children's romantic relationships but in this case I owe it to you to be honest, I saw the look she gave you before, I haven't seen her look at anyone like that, that Elena only comes out when you're around" Grayson commented making it seem innocent, but Damon knew better. He was trying to clear his conscience by getting them back together, like if the last years hadn't happened.

"She's also marrying my brother" He said totally collected.

"I don't believe that's going to happen, I never have" The older men replied soundly.

"You have been known to be wrong about your daughter's feelings in the past" Damon threw back with a mocking smile.

"Touché" Grayson said amused "You should talk to her before you go, it could clear everything up"

"Alright, enough talk for one day. You better try to shut up for a while so you can rest your vocal cords or you won't be able to talk to anyone else today" He didn't have the energy to keep the conversation up, and mostly he didn't want anyone to change his mind about leaving.

"I am going to see you again? When are you leaving?" Grayson asked concerned.

"Nice try, unfortunately that's confidential information, but I'll try to drop by before I leave" He said more to make him stop asking questions than anything else.

"I hope you change your mind" The Gilbert men said after a sigh.

"Keep hoping them" Damon responded with a playful smile "Try not to die okay?"

"I will. Thank you for everything Doctor Salvatore" He extended his hand and Damon shook it with conviction. He might not have forgiven him, but he could try to move on past it, and it sure was going to be considerably easier from another state entirely.

"Right" He said already opening the door to find a beaming Miranda and Jeremy staring back at him. Miranda hugged him and immediately ran towards her husband filling him with kisses and hugs, Damon and Jeremy shared a look and they closed the door behind them to give the Gilberts some privacy.

"You were amazing bro. Thank you so much for everything you did" Jeremy commented smiling

"You Gilberts have to stop thanking me" Damon answered with a half-smile.

"Oh don't be so humble. You kept my family complete man, there's no way I'm not thanking you for a couple of years at least" Jeremy let out a laugh because he understood how Damon's mind worked. The younger Gilbert had always understood him better than most.

"Great" He said faking annoyance.

"So how was the talk with dad?"

"It was enlightening to say the least" He replied not wanting to get into more details.

"You kissed and made up?"

"Not exactly, but it could lead there someday I suppose" Damon answered and it impressed him how true that statement was.

"Good, it's great to have you back on the family" Jeremy said while throwing a playful punch in his arm.

"That's a bit of a stretch dude"

"I saw you and Elena outside before, you're telling me it didn't mean anything?" He asked smiling like he was in on a secret.

"It did, for me it meant goodbye" He was spreading the truth around today, uncontrollably.

"You're going to Harvard huh?"

"How is it that you guys know about that?" Once again he was amused by the information the Gilbert men had on him.

"Well if you mean my dad he's been stalking you out of guilt for a while, me on the other hand just happened to have a very interesting conversation with the dean of med school when I was doing my interview, he asked me if I knew you and also mentioned how disappointed he was when you turned down their grant offer a year ago" Jeremy knew everything, and he just wondered how long it would take him to tell Elena, if he hadn't yet.

"Of course he did" He replied sort of defeated by the fact that it wasn't a secret to anyone anymore.

"You should tell her you came back for her you know?" He suggested, but to Damon it felt like a threat.

"No offense Jer but I would prefer it very much is you could all butt out of my relationship with Elena, wherever it may lead" Damon replied defensively.

"I'm just trying to help" The younger Gilbert responded.

"We don't need help Jer, we need people to let us make up our own minds so would you be so kind not to tell her a thing about this?" He appreciated the fact that his once upon a time brother in law was on Team Damon and Elena, but that team was over and even if it wasn't, people meddling was what had gotten them screwed the first time around.

"God you're stubborn" He said even if Damon knew it wasn't news to him "I won't tell, but you're a fool not to" Jeremy added.

"Yeah, so I've been told. I'm heading home for a while I might see you before I leave but if not I guess I'll see you in Boston?"

"Sure, Maybe you could show me around when I get there" Jeremy said a visible excitement.

"You can call me anytime little Gilbert, you know that"

"It's great to have you back men, no matter what happens with my sister" Jeremy gave him a fast men hug and walked back to join his parents in the hospital room.

Damon began walking on his way out to the parking lot when he found Ric rushing out of the on-call room looking a bit torn up. When he saw Damon approaching he began composing himself quickly, he was really weird.

"You okay men?" He asked his best friend mockingly "Is that an I-just-had-sex look you're pulling?"

"What? Of course not! Besides with whom would I be having sex with?" He replied much too soon.

"There's plenty of pretty nurse to go around. So that's not a good excuse"

"So it's decided? You're leaving?" Ric inquired changing the subject and following him, or more like pushing him to the parking lot.

"Tonight" Damon said without explaining further.

"What? What's the rush?" Alaric asked surprised. "Oh" He said ultimately realizing his reasoning "You don't want to give her a chance to change your mind"

"That's not it at all. I'm just heading there today because they need me to sign some paperwork for the research lab" Damon said failing to convince his best friend of his intentions.

"I never thought I'd see the day when I had to call Damon Salvatore a coward, but here it is" Ric replied smirking. They were standing in the parking lot besides his car, he opened the door and got inside before answering.

"Shut up" Was all Damon replied acting like a childish 5 year old. He turned the ignition on.

"Go ahead run away; it won't change a dam thing" His friend said smacking his door before Damon pulled back from the parking spot and drove onto the street.

When he arrived home he expected his brother to be there, and maybe he could try to bond a little and explain his decision but Stefan was nowhere to be found, so he decided to begin packing his stuff. He couldn't take everything he owned but he was beginning to think that leaving things behind was the best he could do in all aspects of his life. Let go.

His cell phone rang and starlet him for a second, he took it out of his pocket and saw the name on the ID caller, so much for letting things go the thought. Elena's name kept popping up in the screen, a part of him wanted to smack the phone on the wall and forget all about her, and her issues and the strong hold she would always have on him. But once again he couldn't.

"Hey" He answered after the third ring, he wasn't sure it was a good idea but he couldn't let it go to voicemail for some reason.

"Hi" She said shyly "I've been looking for you, where are you?"

"I'm at home, figured I could use some rest" He was trying his best to appear interested so the call wouldn't last long, but he also didn't want her to think something was going on because he wasn't sure how much he could lie to her.

"Right of course, I'm sorry I didn't mean to disturb" She sounded awkward, she was probably feeling all kinds of nervous because of the kiss they shared a few hours ago, one he was trying his best not to think about at all.

"It's okay, don't worry about it" He said while folding clothes into his suitcase distracted.

"Damon I think we should talk, don't you?" She said in a very Caroline fashion, smashing all the words together. He let out a soft laugh.

"We are talking" He said smartly.

"You know what I mean, talk about what happened before"

"Something happened?" He said and for a moment she was completely silent in the other end of the line. He was making difficult because he didn't want to talk about it, and because it was his specialty.

"Damon" She said as a warning, he let out another amused laugh "Are you mocking me? Because I didn't dream that, we kissed okay?" She said the words. _We kissed._ And he could feel her lips on his and her passion and happiness and gratefulness… but that was it. She was grateful, it was a spur of the moment kind of thing and he really was glad that they could have at least that.

"Oh I know that believe me" He answered under his breath. Thinking about it was making him rethink his decisions.

"So are we ignoring it?" She kept her tone soft, and shy and so unlike Elena lately.

"No"

"Can we talk about it?"

"Sure" His responses we're meant to kill the conversation but she wasn't having it.

"Can we do this in person; maybe later I can come over?"

"You could do that, but them again your fiancé happens to be my roommate at the moment" The jealous irrational part of him let the words slip away before the rational man could control them.

"Damon" She sighed heavily "Just bear with me would you? Let's figure this out in person, at the hospital maybe?"

"Fine" No way that's going to happen he thought.

"Is everything okay?" She seemed careful not to spook him away.

"Perfect"

"It would be great to know what's going through that head of yours" The real Elena finally said, winning the battle against the awkwardness and the shyness.

"And what would be the fun in that?" He retorted mockingly.

"Alright I get it, you want to be mysterious. Fine by me, call me when you get here later?"

"Will do" He said knowing the moment it left his lips that he was lying.

"And Damon?"

"Yes?" He was afraid of what her next words would do to him, because he wasn't prepared to hear the L word, if she said it again, all his defenses would come down. He was being such a girl, in the end the word wouldn't change his fears or the fact that Elena wasn't his.

"Thank you" She said and he appreciated her choice of words.

He disconnected the call because he wasn't sure what to respond anymore, he wasn't used to this amount of gratitude from people and the Gilberts were big on saying their thank yous, it made him feel kind of uncomfortable even if he knew it didn't make much sense. Or maybe it was because he felt guilty, knowing that the whole conversation he just had with Elena was misleading, that they wouldn't talk in person, she wouldn't break things up with Stefan, there wasn't a future for them and that was a decision he had made since day one of this whole process and he was sticking with it, because if he had any unchanging feature was his stubbornness.

After an hour his bags were pack, his room was organized and the door was locked. He was making time around the house waiting for his brother to arrive, the last conversation they've shared wasn't particularly brotherly and he wanted to make sure they were okay before going away. He was glad they were never going to have the Elena conversation, a part of him truly believed that Stefan would never forgive him if he ever found out about his previous relationship, not so much for the relationship itself, but because he kept it from him, because he was letting him marry the only girl he had truly wanted by his side forever, it would crush him to know that he didn't know her as well as he thought and that he wasn't the first or the only Salvatore who'd shared her bed.

He needed to stop thinking, even if he had made the decision by now thinking about having Elena as a sister-in-law was not appealing, in fact it was a nightmare, so he'd move away make a name of himself in the medical world and he would just have to be there every other Christmas for the rest of his life. He sighed, he wanted a drink so badly but he had a long drive ahead of him, and drinking was out of the question.

Another half hour went by and Stefan wasn't home, he thought about calling him but it wasn't a conversation he wanted to have over the phone, besides if by any chance he was with Elena he couldn't risk for her to know he was leaving before he had the chance to actually leave. He wasn't really running away from her because he had a serious plan, his dream job waiting for him, deep down he knew that wouldn't matter to Elena, she was just going to confirm her hypothesis that he was a runner, and maybe that was the best thing for them both.

He checked his phone again, they weren't any calls or messages and it was almost 9 o'clock at night, if he wanted to make it out of Mystic Falls tonight he would have to leave now, without saying goodbye to Stefan or anybody else for that matter. He threw his bags in the back seat of his car, and looked at his childhood home for the last time, it wasn't goodbye forever but her wasn't going to be a regular habitant of the house ever again probably, sentimentalism wasn't his thing, but in the moment it felt like an end, to his life here, to his friends, to his part in the Gilbert family, to his seat besides Elena. It was a difficult thing to do, just drive away and forget, but in his mind it was the only acceptable choice. This way he wouldn't hurt his brother and he wouldn't get hurt either, it was a win-win, even if it didn't felt like it at the moment.

Damon called Ric to say his goodbyes, it was a fast call consisting basically on Ric trying to make him stay and him saying no, when his friend finally gave up he wished him a save trip and told him to call as soon as he was in Boston, Damon promised he would and hang up. He left Stefan a note explain he was going away for a while (he didn't want to say how definitive the move was on a post-it) and to call him as soon as he read his message. He thought about calling Grayson to say goodbye but he realized that he would definitely tell Elena and that would be a disaster, so he figured he could always call the old man later, it was weird considering him a friend again or at least not hating him anymore.

The drive out of town was uneventful, he passed the Gilberts house but there wasn't anybody home, that was the last chance he gave the universe to tell him he was making a bad decision when he saw the lights out he speed up to the town limits. He was facing the highway entrance as he second guessed himself for the last time, Elena didn't really love him, she was grateful and under the illusion that he had changed, but he hadn't and she hadn't either, she would leave him again, and he knew he couldn't take it, so this time he was the one doing it before she had the chance to break him.

_**I could hear the sound  
Of your voice still ringing in my ear  
I'm going underground  
But you'll find me anywhere I fear**_

**AN: Yeah I know. I suck. :)**


	11. Ashes and Wine

**AN: Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews from last chapter, it was great to hear your thoughts about all of it, I will try to reply to everyone as soon as I post this, also it was the chapter that got more reviews ever YEI, so as a token of my appreciation I wrote this one considerably longer than the last. Hope you enjoy and continue to share your thoughts. Also a big thanks to the guest reviewers who I can't reply to, specially the one who wrote a paragraph of exactly what I was thinking when I wrote that chapter, thanks again… Is getting tedious so just… enjoy!**

**- D**

**Eleven: Ashes and Wine**

_**Don't know if our fate's already sealed  
This day's spinning circus on a wheel  
I'm ill with the thought of your kiss**_

**Elena's POV**

Elena woke up in an uncomfortable position, she realized she had fallen asleep in the couch and was now regretting this, her back was killing her, she sat up straight and stretched her arms trying to make the discomfort in her body go away, it didn't. She saw her mother fast asleep in a bed beside his father's bed, she wouldn't let them take her away from him from the moment she woke up, and so the nurses had no choice but to set another bed for her to sleep in. Elena knew the hospital board was being as agreeable as possible in everything; guilt was working out wonders for the Gilbert family apparently.

"Hey kiddo," Grayson said to her taking his eyes away from the book he was reading for a second to look at her daughter stretching "I bet you regret not going home when I suggested it before, hospital couches are not good for your health honey" He offered her a sympathy smile and she stood up and went to sit beside him on the bed, he made room for her and gave her a side hug.

"I'm so glad you're okay dad, for a minute there I was terrified I might lose you" She said in a whisper without letting go of him.

"Someday Elena, but not today and not for a long, long time," He whispered back kissing her forehead "There's so much I still need to do around here, some mistakes I have to fix"

Elena pulled away from the hug to be able to face her father before she continued "I need to know," She said slowly fixing his eyes on her dad's blue ones "What did you say to him today?" He smiled, but it wasn't happy or sad, it was more kind of a nervous smile, like he was in no position to answer her question honestly.

"Honey, whatever was said today is something you shouldn't worry about," Grayson said as if he was talking to a little child who couldn't understand the complexity of a certain subject, she hated when he did that "But I can assure you, we're going to be okay, maybe eventually he will forgive me for ruining-"

"Dad" She cut him off, Elena didn't want her father to keep blaming himself for something that was her decision even if influenced by him, she made a choice, one she had to live with for a long time now "It was my choice okay? You didn't force me to break up with him, I was the one who let him go" She had never uttered that words before, and she never thought she would admit them less of all to her father. But it needed to be said, he had to now that she didn't blamed him, or at least not as strongly as he thought.

Grayson nodded and took her hands between his stroking them softly "Do you regret it?" She let out a laugh; it wasn't funny, not at all. Was there a right answer to that question? Did regretting it changed anything? Elena had thought about that question a thousand times before, and maybe if she knew what she did today, she had made different decisions in a lot of things, but life didn't worked like that, it was about making mistakes and owing up to them, moving past them and maybe even making them right somehow.

"Some days," She confessed "I don't know if I'm thinking straight right now, I might-"Elena took a deep breath, was she actually pouring her heart out to her father? It wasn't that she didn't trust him, but they haven't had a heart to heart about her romantic relationships in a long, long time, and it felt weird and a bit out of place. "I might regret saying yes to Stefan when he asked me to marry him, I might not love him as much I thought I did" And there it was, the revelation she hadn't even let herself acknowledge and she was finally letting it out for someone to help her deal with it.

"Oh sweetheart," He replied hugging her once again "You can still spin it around, you can call it off, we will do whatever will make you happy okay? I'll back you up, no matter what you decide to do" She felt safe in her father arms, telling her the words she secretly wanted to hear. Knowing that he approved of her decisions was always such an important thing for her, and even if now she was comfortable enough to defy him when she thought he was wrong, it was so nice to hear that he stood behind her.

"Thank you Daddy, I love you" She said still tight in her embrace, she didn't remember when was the last time she had hugged her father for so long, but it felt like she was a little girl all over again.

"Me too honey, and I'm so deeply sorry if I ever stood in the way of your happiness" Grayson said caressing her hair gently.

Elena pulled away and removed a tear that was falling down her cheek; she smiled at her Dad, with a sense of renewed hope, everything would be okay eventually. "Did he come in here while I was sleeping to check up on you?" She asked changing the subject from one Salvatore to the other.

"I haven't seen him since this afternoon"

"He said he'll come" She sounded like a little girl who'd been promised a pony for Christmas but got a doll instead, and even if she wanted not to, she felt disappointed.

"We're doctors Elena, not superheroes, he's possibly just regaining some energy, and he had a tense couple of days for what I heard" He said grinning. Her dad was probably right, it was very likely that Damon just fell asleep and she was reading more into it than it really was.

"Yeah, perhaps you're right," She gave her dad a kiss on the cheek and stood up from the bed "I'm going home for a while, I can't take another nap in that awful thing you call a couch. Call me if anything comes up Dad" Grayson nodded and told her to have a goodnight even if it was 2 am, she said she'd be there again tomorrow morning and headed out.

She went to Damon's office just to be sure he wasn't there, she even asked a couple of nurses that were on call for him, but they said the same thing her father had, they hadn't seen him since he left in the afternoon. Elena was standing in the elevator before she could think too much about it, she went up to the roof and her last hope of talking to him tonight disappeared, he wasn't there. She sat in the chair she had found him in a couple of nights ago and closed her eyes. They were a million things going through her mind at the moment. She wanted Damon, she knew that was the truest of all things, she wanted him forever if she could have him. And then there was Stefan, and how wonderful he'd been to her, if it wasn't for his total abandon in the last two weeks, she could have said he'd been the perfect fiancé, always there to support her, getting past her little quirks, and mood swings, giving her space when she needed some, he could understood her in a level few people did but the day he had gotten down on one knee she knew he wasn't what she wanted. She'd been lying to herself when she said yes, she wanted to be happy and to forget about the life she could've had with the eldest Salvatore. She thought about marrying Stefan as one would think of the solution to a problem, as if by marrying him all her memories and thoughts, and yes even feelings for Damon would go away. While breathing the night clean air, sitting in a hospital roof and looking at the starts, she realized how far out of hand that lie had gotten. How could she have ever thought that she'd be able to pull it off? Marrying Stefan was never going to happen, because subconsciously she knew that if she couldn't have Damon she had to stay the hell away from him. She couldn't go through thanksgiving dinners, and Christmas parties having him there so close, and so far. She couldn't be part of the Salvatore family if she wasn't Damon's girl.

She felt as if she had gotten out of a three year slumber, she'd been kidding herself, trying to not regret losing him. Because in her books regrets didn't solve anything, so she just went on from one regret to another without even knowing it. She remember the day Stefan came back from New York, he was finally the lawyer Giuseppe wanted him to be, and was in Mystic Falls to take over his father's business, he was overly excited to see her, and she waived it off thinking he had missed her, as much as he had missed every one of their friends, but it wasn't the case, and that much was clear when a couple of weeks later he awkwardly asked her out, she had been broken hearted and full of contradicting emotions, Damon had finally given up on her and few days before she had seen him kissing Lexie, so she decided to accept Stefan's invitation, and if she was being completely honest a part of her was expecting to get a rise out of Damon, but things got out of hand quickly when the eldest Salvatore left town before her date with Stefan without even saying goodbye. So by the end of the date Stefan was consoling her, about some guy who had broken her heart, she never told him it was Damon and he never asked his name, he said he was going to nurse her back to happy and he did. But even in her happiest moments with Stefan she couldn't stop herself from comparing the two brothers, she felt sick, but she couldn't let go of Stefan by then, he had become her saving raft and she didn't want to drown.

After a while Elena realized she was crying, she felt like she couldn't breathe and her chest was going up and down faster than usual, it was catharsis, it was a turning point, from this day forward a lot of things were going to change in her life, they would change only if she had the courage to take the steps that led her to happiness. There was a long To-do list, but first of all she had to talk to Damon, before he put up his walls again and left her stuck outside. She took out her phone, it was 4 am, and time had flown by with all her reminiscing, and decision making, she called him even she knew he wouldn't answer "Hey, it's me…. Elena, I just- there are some things I need to say Damon, and I'm afraid you're not going to let me, could you please call me back? I want to see you, I need to- just call back as soon as you hear this…okay…bye" Now she had to wait, at least until tomorrow, until he woke up and called her, or until it was a reasonable hour to go barging in to the boarding house and lock him in a room with her till he decided to discuss the situation.

"Good morning sunshine," Said a voice Elena knew well but couldn't quite place at the moment, she moved around in bed and opened her eyes slowly, in front of her was Jeremy smiling widely and putting a tray of breakfast goods on her bed, her room was filled with sun light coming from her open curtains "Sleep well?"

She sat up "Yeah, I guess so," He was acting really weird, and she was wary of what that could mean, so few times in life Jeremy had acted happy when there really was something to be happy about, he was more the overcompensating kind of guy, so when things went terribly wrong he made it seem like it was all okay until he cracked, but given the fact that her father just came out of a life or death situation she decided that this time Jeremy was in fact happy "If there a special reason for all this attention?" She asked just to be sure.

"Can a guy just fix his big sister some breakfast for once?" He said grinning from the doorframe of the bathroom they've shared since they could remember.

"You can, but I have the feeling something is about to explode somehow"

"Nothing is exploding sis, relax"

Elena saw the millisecond double take Jeremy had before answering, and she knew something was up, maybe it was her six sense when it came to her little brother but she was now sure this was an overcompensating kind of situation. "Spill" She said without more noticed.

"Elena today is a great day, dad is getting discharged in the afternoon and I just thought I could do something nice for you," He said smiling but Elena suspected it was all part of the sham "Besides we need to clean up a bit and go grocery shopping for dinner tonight"

"You're going to have to tell me what's up, sooner or later" She said moving the tray towards her and giving a bite to the pancakes covered in honey seating on her plate.

"Whatever you say, take your time with breakfast I'll be downstairs when you're ready to go" He said with another smile and immediately leaving the room. What was it with all the smiley faces? Something was definitely up.

After eating her very tasty breakfast, Elena went through her daily routine, she washed her face, brushed her teeth, picked a out flowery summer dress from her closet and put her hair into a high pony tail, she got dressed and applied some lip gloss before checking her phone for the first time that morning. There was no call from Damon, and disappointment rushed through her fast. There was a missed called from Caroline and a few messages from Matt saying how glad he was Grayson was okay and that he was coming over later to help her cook for the welcome home dinner they were throwing her father. She tried calling Damon again but he didn't answer, he was ignoring her, so she might as well show up at the boarding house later, she was not giving up this easy.

She went out with Jeremy to get some things, and he was still acting like he was completely high on life, which was impossible, her brother was the brooding type, so this was not only out of character but also a fail attempt at making her believe he was fine. Elena tried to press the subject a few times but Jeremy wouldn't bite, he kept saying how great this day was going to be. It was only a couple of hours later when they were back home and she asked for the car keys when he changed his attitude all together.

"What do you need them for?" He asked standing behind the kitchen island chopping some strawberries for the fruit salad her father liked so much.

"Maybe to start the car?" She said mockingly.

"I mean, where are you going?"

"Out"

"Elena" He said as a warning, it was so funny who people always said her name with a specific tone when she was making them mad.

"Look Jer, I'm going to the boarding house to check up-"

"On Stefan?" He asked and he appeared hopeful at the thought, which considering how much he didn't really like him said a lot.

"Enough," She said approaching the counter and taking a strawberry to her mouth "What's up?"

"Elena? Jeremy?" Said a voice coming from the living room, whoever it was let himself in and two seconds later Matt Donovan was standing at the door with a bag full of different alcoholic beverages "Guys your door was open," He left the bag in the counter and gave Elena a kiss on the cheek and Jeremy a man hug "so what's up? I can feel the tension in the air" Said Matt with a smirk.

"Your friend Jeremy is withdrawing information from me. Can you believe he brought me breakfast to bed this morning?" She said looking at Matt disbelievingly.

"Oh man, something is really messed up if he did that," Matt said before glancing back at Jeremy who probably gave him a warning look because he changed his statement instantly "but then again Lena, this kid has changed a lot and he has a very valid reason to be happy, did you tell her about med school Jer?" The former quarterback asked looking intently at her brother.

"Wait what? What is he talking about?" Elena asked surprised.

"I was going to announce it at dinner tonight but since you're so intense about it, and Matt just ruined it, I guess this would do. I got and early acceptance at Harvard Med" He said setting aside the fruit he had already chopped, Elena ran to him and have him a bear hug.

"Oh my God Jer, I- I didn't even knew you wanted to be a doctor" She said immensely surprised and happy, so maybe everything was okay, she really had to stop thinking the worst out of every situation.

"I have known for a while, I just didn't want to tell you guys anything until I got accepted somewhere" He confessed.

"Well Harvard is certainly a good somewhere to be accepted in" She said smiling at the little brother, everything was coming together in way she hadn't expected, but she was happy nonetheless.

For the rest of the afternoon they talked all about Jeremy's interest in medicine and how he went to Boston a few months ago for his interview without no one knowing, he told everyone he had gone to visit Ana in New York where she was going to college and since it was a very reasonable thing to do, no one even considered he would go do something else. They were cooking, laughing and having the best time she had in a while, so much so, that she forgot for a bit all about going to see Damon, until her phone rang and the anticipation and anxiety took hold of her, she ran upstairs to answered the discarded phone. "Hello?" She said a little out of breath "Damon?"

"Why would Damon call you from my phone?" Said the voice of her very blonde best friend from the other end of the line.

"Oh right, sorry Care. I was expecting a call from him that's all" She explained regaining her breath.

"Sorry to disappoint, I have some boy trouble do you think I can come by before dinner to talk about it?"

"Why are you even asking me that? Come over, I'm here with Matt and Jer prepping dinner, Jenna should be home soon with Mom and Dad, so the sooner you get here the better" Elena told her friend, if they wanted to have a little peace and quiet to talk whatever it was going on with Caroline through she had to arrive before her parents.

"Ok, I'm on my way" Caroline disconnected the call and Elena took a deep breath, where the hell was Damon and why was he being so evasive. Maybe he regretted the kiss. He hadn't said so, he had sounded a bit restrained over the phone but she figured he was as tangled up in thoughts as she was. Lexie, Stefan, they were getting hurt and she felt badly about it, but she needed Damon, that was all there was to it. She couldn't go to the boarding house now, Caroline was on her way over, and so was the rest of her family. On the other hand she had never thought the plan of visiting the Salvatore home thoroughly the last thing she needed was to come face to face with Stefan while looking for Damon, but if he didn't showed up soon, it was what she was going to do. In a moment of restlessness she decided to call Ric, he had to know where his best friend was hiding out.

The phone rang a couple of times before the familiar voice answered the phone "Hey Elena, I just finished Grayson's discharge papers, he should be home in an hour or so" He said informatively.

"That's great Ric, I was actually calling you to ask you about Damon" She said and the line was silent for a second longer than what would be consider normal.

"What about him?" Alaric finally asked.

"Do you know where he is? I've been trying to reach him but he won't answer his phone" Elena wondered if Ric knew they kissed, obviously he knew about before, he was silently in on the secret as was her family, maybe Damon had told him, them again girls and guys worked in entirely opposite ways so maybe he didn't rush to tell his best friend as she did.

"Did you try his house?" He asked casually.

"Not yet"

"Well he's probably there sleeping it off, you know regaining some energy" Ric responded without much interest.

"What did you just said?" It was too much of a coincidence for her father and Ric to use the same words to excuse Damon's absence, she was right something was up.

"I said he might be regaining-"

She heard enough so she interrupted before he could finish repeating his words from before "You know Ric, that's exactly what my father said"

"Then we must be right"

"Or you are covering for him, those are definitely his words, where is he?" She asked annoyed that even her father was in on whatever was going on with Damon, and she was being kept out of it.

"You should talk to him" He sounded defeated, like he wanted to tell her but couldn't.

"I would if he would answer the damn phone," What could posibbly be going on that needed this much cover? She tried to search her mind for the worst possible situation. "where is he?" She asked again with more force this time.

"Elena" He used that tone, the one that was almost attached to a disclaimer.

"Ric don't, just tell me"

"He's gone" He said after a sigh.

"What do you mean-"She asked dumb folded "He left Mystic Falls?"

"I'm sorry Elena"

"Why?" She couldn't think straight it was as if history was repeating somehow.

"I don't know" He said.

"Don't lie to me Ric, we are past that"

"Well according to him because they made him a job offer he couldn't refuse" The tone he used was one of disbelief.

"Where?" She didn't know what she would do with that information, she didn't even knew if It matter anymore but she wanted to know nevertheless.

"He's going to kill me, but he's in Boston. Harvard Med gave him a research grant" She could easily picture Ric running a hand through his hair nervously, he was saying more than what Damon had allowed him to, and he was going to be in trouble.

"So he just left? Without even saying goodbye…" _Again_ she thought.

"You know him better than anyone, I can't tell you more but I'm sure you can come up with reason as to why he would not say goodbye to you" She wasn't sure if he sounded defeated or accusatory when she said that but she definitely didn't appreciated the way he said it.

"You let him leave?" She was blaming him because there was nothing left to do.

"When have I ever been able to prevent him from doing something? He does whatever the hell he wants you know that Elena" He said as a defense for himself.

"I have to go" Elena said hanging up, there was nothing left to say, she could yell at Ric or could ask him all the other questions that were going through her mind, but it wouldn't change the fact that Damon decided to once again disappear from her life. A part of her was glad that he had gotten that position, he deserved it more than anyone and she knew well it was his dream to be able to make something of his own, and more importantly with the support of one of the most recognize medical programs in the country. But the happiness that she had been experiencing since the moment he told her Grayson was okay was slowly slipping away, in her mind they had been given a second chance, and she was aware it wasn't going to be a walk in the park either, they had a lot to figured out, or so she thought, but they were in different wave lengths.

Damon never intended to see her again, that's why he was so distant on the phone, that was why he wasn't answering, he said he loved her, that he didn't regret falling in love with her, he said it present tense, so why the hell was he running from her again? Without even giving her the chance to change his mind. For the second time in less than 24 hours Elena was crying profoundly. This time it wasn't as hopeful as before, it wasn't because she was torn in how to deal with the next step, this time she knew there was no next step for her and Damon, he resigned he disappear, he did what he knew how to do best he ran away.

"Lena?" Said Caroline entering her room with a concerned look on her face, she sat beside Elena in bed and hold her for a little while "What's wrong honey?" She asked delicately without letting go of her hands.

"He left" Was all Elena could mustered to say before going back to full on crying her heart out, she cried for what seemed like hours, but were probably just a couple of minutes, Caroline was there stroking her back up and down, trying to soothe her. She calmed down enough to breathe properly finally, and Caroline looked at her like she was the most fragile thing she'd ever seen.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Caroline asked gently.

"I- I don't get it, I thought we could work it out, I thought- he wanted to" She said still letting a few tears run down her face.

"So what's the plan?" Caroline was always looking for the way out of things, she was a planer an organizer she wanted to fix things, so it was natural that she picked that questions out of all the one she could had made.

"There's no plan, he'd made it pretty clear that he doesn't want to talk to me" Elena said resigned, this time it was going to be harder than before to let him go, because for a second she could picture everything she wanted, and it was even more perfect than the first time around in her mind, the years apart had gave them perspective and they would have that on their side this time, or they would have if he had wanted them to.

"Elena, I clearly don't know him as well as you do but don't you think he could be afraid to let you in?" Her best friend asked slowly trying not to push her.

"Maybe, but Care he is the type of guy that always does what he wants, if he wanted to be with me…" She couldn't finish the sentence but it also wasn't necessary for Caroline to understand what she was trying to tell her, the only reason that could come to mind as to why he left was something he said to her before, he didn't have the fight in him anymore, and she couldn't do it alone.

"I think your reading this wrong honey, you have to understand how difficult it must for him. You're engaged to his brother, you've been with Stefan longer than you were with him, it sucks for him to have to deal with that" Caroline said.

"I love him more than anyone I ever-"

Caroline cut her off "He doesn't know that Elena, you kissed him in a very complex situation, he could've pass that as gratitude or a simple impulse, I think he doesn't believe you love him as much as you say you do"

"But I do"

"Do you? Because I've heard you say it like a broken record for the past two days but your actions, they don't show that" Caroline said and she felt accused, judged by one of the few people that got her.

"What are you saying?" Elena snapped, she couldn't believe her best friend doubted the intensity or even the existence of her love for Damon.

"I'm saying you agreed to marry Stefan, why would you do that if your feelings for Damon were this strong?" The gentle Caroline was completely gone from the conversation; she was now pushing her buttons instead.

"I thought I could do it, and Stefan he's done so much for me Care, he changed me, he brought me back from a dark place and I-"

"All I hear is gratitude Elena, I think you need a time out from the Salvatore brothers, your feelings are all over the place, and neither of them deserves to be with someone who doesn't know how she feels" She said looking at Elena worriedly, Caroline had never talked to her like that before it was as she was purposely trying to hurt her by pointing out all of her faults he felt judged and naked for the world to see.

"You're one to talk," She spit out defensively "Aren't you juggling two guys yourself?"

Caroline looked at her wide eyed as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Obviously this conversation is over, call me when my friend Elena comes back, take care of yourself" She walked out of the room giving Elena no chance to reply to her statement, was she going out of her mind? Had she been out of line with her comment, the world was spinning around, she felt lost, and utterly alone no matter how many people were downstairs waiting for her to join them for a celebratory dinner. She couldn't find a single cell in her body that wanted to celebrate, she was as volatile as she'd ever been and she was frightened as hell.

_**Two months later…**_

She walks through the door and explains to the woman at the counter that she need to talk to him, she asked her who she was and Elena just said that it was imperative for her to see him. The woman scanned her unashamedly probably trying to figure out if she was a stalker or had some kind of mental problems before getting on the phone "Dr. There's someone requesting to see you" the woman who's name tag read Margaret said through the phone, Elena could almost imagine the other said of the conversation "No, she wouldn't tell me her name, but she did mentioned it was important" He was probably saying there was no way he would see someone without knowing who it was, but then again she knew well he wouldn't see her if he told him either. Margaret got off the phone after mustering a couple of lows okays, and looked back at her "Miss he is not available at the moment but I could give you his contact information-"

"I'm sorry Margaret is it? What I'm about to do, hope it doesn't get you in trouble" Elena said opening the door she assumed headed to the labs and sprinting through it, she passed a couple of visibly vacant rooms with big clear windows until she reached the one she was looking for, she took a moment to take in his surroundings and how he appeared to be just in his element there, he had a white coat on and a blue and white stripped collar shirt. She knocked on the door letting herself in immediately.

"Margaret did you took care of that girl? I mean seriously I'm the only hot doctor in this lab or what? Girls are throwing there selves at me like crazies, it's beginning to get a little creepy" He chuckled still too focused on whatever he was observing on the microscope to noticed it wasn't precisely his secretary who was now with him "Was she hot? Just so I can weight my options" He said when she didn't respond to his first question, but didn't look at her. She decided that she needed to say something because Margaret would come sooner or later to interrupt them, she couldn't waste any more time.

"It must be awful for you to have all this girls at your disposition" She finally said bitterly, she didn't expect him to be a saint but hearing about all this girls didn't comfort her either. Although she might prefer him to have random girls than a serious someone around. When he heard her voice he immediately looked up at her, disbelief washing over his face, and for a few seconds he just stared, a speechless Damon Salvatore was a nice change of sight Elena thought giving him a daring smile.

"Elena," He said as if he couldn't make up any other words "You're here"

"And so are you, weird isn't it?" She hadn't planned to be cynical, in fact quite the opposite but standing there in front of him she just wanted to slap him, throwing away every advance she had made in the last couple of weeks "Next time if you don't want to be found try not telling everyone in Mystic Falls except me where you are going, okay?" There were questions in his eyes but he just stood there for a long while.

"I honestly didn't think you would even try to find me, that's the real surprise here" He finally said laying his back to the counter where he was working before she interrupted him.

"So you expected me to just let it be?" She asked.

"I thought you already had" He said trying to appear completely uninterested, but she noticed the slow movement of his foot on the floor, that thing he couldn't stop doing when he got restless.

"I didn't, so you're not getting out of this that easy" Elena said defiantly, she wanted to challenge him to make him see she wasn't running away anymore, even if physically he was the one who always did, Elena now understood that she had constantly been the one to pull away emotionally, and she was done with it.

"What is this Elena?" The indifference was still taking a front row sit on his expression, but she knew it couldn't last too long.

"Us." She said nonchalantly.

"I'm not familiar with that word" He retorted.

Elena took a few steps to be closer to him and saw him flinch for a second, she stopped on her tracks not wanting to make him throw her out without getting to her point first "Quit acting like you don't care at all, I'm here and I'm not leaving this city until you open up and we can talk this through"

"Is that a threat?" Damon replied with a sarcastic smirk.

"No, it's a promise"

"What if I don't want to?"

"Frankly my dear," She began saying waiting to see his expression as she finished her sentence "I don't give a damn" Damon stared back astonished, she let out a laugh. Quoting the movie adaptation of his favorite book had to give her some points, especially considering the love/hate relationship she had with said film. Even if the phrase in this particular situation meant the exact opposite, she wasn't giving up, not again, so he might as well just give in. Margaret arrived in that moment followed closely by two security guards, Elena had stolen more of his time that she had initially thought she would, so she was going to obey and gladly took off when they told her too, which was going to be soon.

"I'm so sorry Dr. Salvatore she just ran in here and I couldn't get security fast enough" Said the older woman breathing heavily.

"It's okay Margaret, she was just leaving there's no need for this fellows to help her out, Right Elena?" He said pressing her to agree.

Elena took her time before answering just so there could be a bit of a dramatic effect "Of course, I'll be expecting a call from you?" She asked staring into his deep blue eyes intensely.

"I won't make any promises" He said followed by a subtle smile. He was going to call her, he was too curious and addicted to her for his own good. She followed Margaret and the security guards outside the laboratory but before leaving she glimpsed at him for the last time and when she did he was already looking at her. _Got you._

_**Is there a chance?  
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?  
A reason to fight?  
Is there a chance you may change your mind?  
Or are we ashes and wine?**_


	12. Kill

**AN: Long wait, my apologies I hope you at least like it. I had a hard time writing this and I'm not sure I like it that much, so you know if you have something to say give me a shout out and we'll discuss it, if not thanks for reading anyway. The song is from Jimmy Eats World, check it out while you read this if you have a chance. Greetings, - D**

**Twelve: Kill**

**Damon's POV**

_**I know what you want to say  
I know it but can't help feeling differently  
I loved you, and I should have said it  
But tell me just what has it ever meant**_

He was distracted, and how could he not be? She was supposed to be out of his life for good that was the whole idea in the first place, leave Mystic Falls, take the job offer of your life (for real this time) and be happy. The things about plans is that they never end up being what you expected, his job was great, he was invested and overall enjoying it , but his personal life was once again a big ass mess. His relationship with his brother was non-existent he tried calling him more than a thousand times but he refused to talk to him, which was beginning to get annoying mainly because he didn't understand the sudden freeze out, he almost thought Stefan would be thrilled to know he was leaving, but he had no way of knowing what he thought now, he sent out some apologetic texts regarding the last time they've talk to each other but there was no answer whatsoever, his only way of knowing his brother was alive were the constants reports coming from Matt and Alaric, saying they've seen him around town. On the other hand his relationship with Dr. Grayson Gilbert was going better than he expected, his past resentment was slowly fading away and he was glad he had a father figure type again in his life, the only boundary their relationship had at the moment was Elena, it was an off the limits topic and he had made that pretty clear form the first time Grayson called him 2 days after getting to Boston, so they talked about work, and life and Grayson's amazement and happiness over the fact that Jeremy was attending Harvard in the fall, they we're getting back to the connection they've once shared and it was more than a little strange for Damon to have a good rapport with him and not his daughter, who he just kept ignoring each time she called which was less and less every day, so obviously he couldn't believe what he was seeing when she saw her standing in his lab a few hours ago, in fact if it wasn't for other people seeing her as well he would've thought it was all in his mind.

"Dr. Salvatore I'm going out for lunch do you want me to bring you anything from the cafeteria?" Said Margaret standing right in front of him asking for his momentary attention.

"No, I'll be heading out myself in little bit I'll probably take the afternoon off" He responded.

"Are you going out with that girl from before? She was pretty if you don't mind me saying" She commented with a knowing smile.

"Margaret remember that time we talked about boundaries? I'm quite fond of you, don't make me change my mind" He responded looking at her intently.

"Don't be so uptight Dr. S you're too young to be so bitter" She said to him carefully. He had been called many things in his life but bitter certainly wasn't one of them, he was just not very into sharing personal info, especially when it came to Elena Gilbert, in any shape or form.

"Go get some lunch woman," He said ignoring her previous comment "see you tomorrow"

"Have a nice day Dr. S" Said Margaret exiting the room and closing the door behind her.

Damon got back to what he was doing (or rather attempting to do) before being interrupted, he was adding some ingredients into a beaker with a sample tube, for some unknown reason the tube slipped from his hands and ended up in pieces all over the floor "Shit" he said under his breath, now he had to clean it all up and do everything from step one, his day was not particularly going smoothly, before he could continue mentally cursing the time he was having his cellphone rang, he took it out of his pocket and answered it quickly, his bad mood still with him.

"So why the hell is Elena here in Boston?" He said before the other party could say hello.

"Nice, straight to the point I see, Good afternoon to you too my friend" Said Alaric not at all surprised with Damon's reaction.

"A warning would've been nice at least," He added moving around the room "she caught me completely by surprise"

"I'm sure that was her intention, as for that warning I had no idea she was going down there today" Alaric added sympathetically.

"Why would you tell her where I was man?" He said because honestly he didn't understand Ric's actions anymore, one day he told him to stay away from her, the other not to run away, his advice was mixed and confusing at best.

"Damon Jeremy knows, Grayson knows which automatically makes Miranda aware of your location, that's 3 out of 4 Gilberts. It was just a matter of time before she found out" He explained.

"So you didn't tell her?"

"Oh no, I did. I'm just saying she would've find out either way"

"I could punch you right now"

"Grow the hell up, deal with her and get it over with, wasn't that the advice you gave me when I you told I might want to cancel my wedding with Jenna? And look how well that turned out" Ric said and to Damon it sounded like he was upset, but he wasn't going to acknowledge it just for the fact that he was angry as well and fighting with Ric was not something he wanted to do at the moment.

"You're better off without her man that was great advice in fact," He said sitting down on her stool again "that just what I'll do with Elena, get it over with" It was all he could do call her face the problem straight on and deal with it.

"The greatest of luck to you then, you'll need it" Was all Ric said and disconnected the call straightaway.

Luck wasn't precisely what he needed right now it was more along the lines of strength, he needed to deal with this quickly and in one thorough move or else he would surrender to the effect she had on him, to her charm and the part of himself that would always be in love with her, and that couldn't happen because he preferred to be content knowing that he couldn't have her than miserably wanting her to be something she wasn't. He wasn't up to being the one loving the most again, his heart was better off being left alone because his fragility could ruin everything he had worked hard to build for himself.

Before giving it a second thought he called her, and at the second ring she picked up "Hello Elena" he said nonchalantly there was a two second pause at other end of the line.

"This is a surprise, I didn't expect you to call so soon" She said with that cocky tone she surely accompanied with a smile, she thought this was a good sign, how completely wrong on her part.

"Well I figured what better time than the present?" He was trying to make it seem like he was eager to see her so she wouldn't be prepared for the complete shutdown she was going to get.

"I agree so do you want to get a drink?" She asked openly.

"Didn't know you pick up the habit of day drinking, how very Salvatore of you" He said no precisely referencing his personal drinking habits, but those of his brother.

"After a while we all collect some bad habits, so yeah I day drink now, mostly when the moment is right like today for instance" Damon could already imagine her smirking as she said that.

"Alright meet me out in the quadrangle at 4 and we'll go from there" That at least gave him a couple of hours to do some work before heading out, and maybe a chance to think what his strategy to get her to leave would be.

"It's a date then, see you in a bit" She said in what Damon had come to know was her pleased tone of voice. After saying their goodbyes the call ended and left him feeling a little anxious about the whole thing. Elena he could deal with, after two or three hard truths she was going to be running for the door, or at least that was what he was telling himself.

The next three hours went by slowly as he wasn't restless enough, he clean up his fail attempt, the one he was supposedly working on all day and throw it out, it was useless his concentration was off and he couldn't do anything work related. He left his lab coat in the hanger in the wall and made his way through the labs, he was almost outside when someone called his name from one of the doors he had passed, and he turned around to see Elijah walking towards him.

"So what do you said about some diner tonight? There's this girl that offered to bring a friend for you along" Elijah was the only person he could maybe call a friend in the lab, he was an old soul with a charming English accent as well as the head of the genetics department, he was a little too uptight when he had met him but was currently trying his best to get to know the dark side after a failed serious relationship, so he was up for any crazy thing Damon could come up with, and it was nice to have a wingman that could actually charm the pants off a girl almost as much as he could.

When he got to Boston Damon was lost, less than a month before he had thought he would be with Lexie for a while, even for the long run, he thought the search for the woman with whom he wanted to share his life was over and once again Elena Gilbert stood in the way of him leading a happy, normal life. So he just figured he needed to keep looking, for someone who got him and could love him, someone who wasn't at all familiar with Elena and his past with her, someone who wouldn't question his love for her, and so the search began one more time with a continuous flow of one night stands and underachieving girls, who didn't inspire him in any other department than the sexual one, and it was a shame but he was trying to make the best out it, and having a friend like Elijah, someone he could corrupt, was exactly what was making everything a little less bad.

"I have some business to take care of first, but if I can get off it early I'll give you a call" He replied, not in the mood to explain that Elena was in town, he had already told Elijah a summarized version of his past relationship with her and wasn't looking for the lecture that his friend would surely give him when he told him she went to found him.

"Perfect, talk to you later them. If you don't show I'll have to make the terrible effort of dining with two beautiful available ladies so I'm having a good night either way" He said smugly "Or who know where that could lead later on"

"You're all talk Mikaelson, we both know you're too dam moral to even attempt to take them both home with you" Damon pointed out knowing the moral compass of Elijah wouldn't let him follow that goal.

"One day I might surprise you Salvatore" Elijah responded smirking.

"I don't think you will and seldom wrong" He replied saying his goodbyes as he headed out to find Elena in their meeting place.

They've been dancing around each other for more than an hour now, he got them drinks, for her an apple martini her favorite, for him a bourbon, his favorite, they've been talking about Jeremy's trip to Boston happening the following week and Grayson's recuperation, he was finally back to work and everyone was happy, everyone maybe except them, but they didn't had the guts to bring the subject up, him because he had already made up his mind, she was not getting into his heart again, and her probably 'cause she knew he was not going to be an easy person to persuade so she wanted to keep the feign serene atmosphere for as long as she could.

"I've been meaning to ask you something" She said suddenly and he took a sip of his drink, finally she was stepping to the plate. He didn't say anything so she continued "Is Ric seeing someone?"

Damon let out an amused laugh that was not what he was expecting at all "Not that I know of, why are you interested?" He asked jokingly.

"Let's say I'm curious, I've seen him in some weird situations lately that scream sneaking around to me" She answered

"And you should know" He said under his breath.

"You taught me how, remember?"

"It' was your idea if I recall correctly"

"You were thrilled; you said it was sexy and fun"

"I've said some stupid shit over the years"

"Why didn't you tell me what you really thought then?" She said obviously frustrated, he couldn't believe she thought he was fine with sneaking around all along, how many times did he mentioned he wanted to tell her friends? Or go out on a date without heading out of town? It was ridiculous for her to be acting like she never noticed he wasn't happy about the secret part of their relationship. She had had to know.

"You set the rules Elena, from the beginning you told me you wanted to keep it a secret for a while and that while grew longer and longer until it wasn't necessary to keep it a secret because it was over" He said letting out a loud breath "It doesn't really matter anymore" he added forcing a smile.

"It matters to me; it matters because I didn't know okay? I had no idea I was hurting you them" She moved her hand closer to his on the table but he could see her refraining herself from touching him at last. "You should have told me Damon, I swear…" She went quiet and looked around the room, as if trying to find something, she seemed astonished by the information he had just shared, and he didn't know if it was because of her acting skills or if she truly didn't get it.

"Al right" He said sympathetically "You didn't know, I'll believe that"

"This is so messed up" She let out, as if she was thinking out loud.

"Elena" She made eye contact with him for a few seconds "Let it go" It came out as plea, even if he didn't intended for it to be one.

"Do you really want me to?" She asked and when he looked at her he realized she looked broken, as broken as she was that night when she went to him for help with her father's case, as broken as he had ever seen her, and he couldn't answer, he couldn't lie and say yes but he couldn't tell her the truth either, he couldn't give her hope for something he would later dismiss, so he didn't responded he took another sip of his drink and stood up to get another one.

"I'm getting a drink, do you want one?" Elena gave him a look, one that meant that she knew he was purposely ignoring her question.

"Could you make it bourbon?" She answered and he was surprise, since when was Elena Gilbert a bourbon kind of girl, before asking what was on his mind he headed down to the bar and asked the bartender for two straight bourbons as he was ordering the drinks he kept looking back at their table, the place was almost empty, no one drinks on a Wednesday afternoon, unless you were trying to get your ex-girlfriend and probably only woman you've ever loved out of your live for good, the bar was deserted it was just them and a couple of college kids playing pool on the opposite corner, and he found himself glancing at Elena, a part of him still couldn't believe she was there for him.

He sat back down at their table and slid the second bourbon glass her way, she took a long sip and Damon couldn't get his eyes off her it was an incredible turn on to watch her drink his favorite bourbon neat, he knew it was ridiculous but couldn't help it, he was starting to get turn on by her when he supposedly didn't love her, didn't want her, and really didn't know how to lie when it came to her not even to himself.

"You drink bourbon now?" He asked curious about when that had come to pass.

"I do sometimes," She said intent on moving the coaster around the table without looking away from it "Mostly when I miss you" She said it but didn't look at him when she did and he was glad because he probably looked like an idiot, and a stunned one at that.

"So not very frequently then" He told her, attempting to undervalue her confession.

"Before today I hadn't drunk a girl cocktail in a really long time" Was all she said letting him form his own conclusions, she was being very wary with her words and movements he could tell she was working hard at not saying too much.

"Good for you them, that drinks really suck" She gave him a smile; she was probably expecting him not to acknowledge her commentary anyways.

"I'm finding bourbon ultimately is more my speed" Elena said smirking at him.

"Knowing you you'll change your mind in not time, maybe tomorrow it would be vodka" He commented dryly.

"Alright I earned that" She said almost like she was expecting him to say something similar.

"And some more" He continued.

"So shoot, get it out Damon, tell me what you really feel" Elena asked her cheeks heating up, she wasn't mad it was more like she wanted him to speak up, so of course he wouldn't.

"I appreciate the offer but I'll have to decline"

"Why?"

"I wouldn't want to hurt your pride" And the truth was he knew how it would work, he would talk about his feelings and she would comfort him and tell him all he wanted to hear, and that wasn't happening anymore.

"Don't worry about it; I left it in Mystic Falls. Do your worst" She replied encouraging him again.

"Damon?" Said an animated voice approaching them, a blonde appeared in front of him and made a big deal of giving him a kiss very close to the his mouth, followed by a tight embrace placing her hands on the small of his back. "I thought that was you darling" She said pulling away but not completely.

"Rebekah is always a pleasure to see you" He said in his most charming voice, he took a glance at Elena who was predictably rolling her eyes at the sight of the blonde. He'd never been so had to have Rebekah interrupt him as he was at the moment.

"Is this your sister?" She said examining Elena from head to toe. He wanted to laugh at that, she knew perfectly well he didn't have a sister, in fact Rebekah probably knew the girl standing across from him was Elena Gilbert, she'd seen a picture on his apartment once and had asked about it, she was snooping of course because it wasn't like the picture was hanging on his wall, so he just told her it was an old childhood friend, Elena he'd said and even if Rebekah didn't push him for more information she certainly knew there was more to it, she had a way of reading people well.

"I don't have a sister Becks, this is a Elena from Mystic Falls" He said not wanting to give the blonde further information from what she already had "Elena this is Rebekah" The girls looked at each other examining every inch on the other, the tension was absurd, finally Elena took the first step and shook the blonde's hand plastering a gentile smile in her face.

"Nice to meet you Rebekah" She said and Rebekah followed suit.

"Nice to meet you too Elena from Mystic Falls" She responded and immediately turned herself around to look only at him "I was thinking we could do something fun this weekend, so give me a call when you get bored" Rebekah said in a sultry tone of voice, she was the exactly the kind of girl you wanted to make any other girl jealous, she was smoking hot, had a British accent and always made things sound a lot sexier than what they were, Elena had fire in her eyes, and for a second he forgot he shouldn't be enjoying it.

"Sure thing Becks, it was a pleasure to see you as always" She gave him another sensual kiss in the cheek and disappear in her way out. Why Rebekah had entered bar alone in a Wednesday afternoon was beyond him but as Elena kept looking at her like she was Satan impersonated he appreciated her timing. "You were saying?" He said to her waiting to regain her attention.

"You're into blondes now" She stated.

"I'm into women in general Elena, I don't discriminate" He answered casually.

"And I'm just Elena from Mystic Falls? Not Elena your ex-girlfriend or at the very least an old friend?" She asked and this time her tone of voice mirrored her obvious disdain on the subject.

"Rebekah doesn't really care about the details; she's easy going like that" He explained even if he knew deep down she cared way more than what she tried to convey.

"Meaning she sleeps around a lot"

"I'm afraid not every girl can be a saint like Elena Gilbert" He could have defend Rebekah but he was aware it was not really the point Elena was trying to make.

"I never said I was a saint Damon"

"But you're self-righteous as hell, and that's fine, just know that everyone is allowed to make his own choices even if you don't allow yourself to do so" He was accusing her, and he shouldn't but his passiveness was running out.

"That you didn't like my choices doesn't mean they were not my own you jackass" She answered visibly infuriated with him.

"Oh so you do accept that it was your choice that led us to this day Elena?" He asked annoyed beyond his limits.

"I made a mistake, I'm not perfect, what do you want me to say?" And there she went again asking him to make a choice for her, to tell her want he wanted her to say, as if she couldn't figure it out on her own.

"That's the thing Elena you should know what to say, I'm not your prompter so I don't have to tell you your lines you should know what to say to me, if you don't what the hell are you doing here?" He said finally letting his irritation get to him.

"I want you back Damon, is as simple and as complicated as that" She said and looked at him like the ball was in his court that was the big speech she had prepared? That was all she thought she need to say to make the past go away? She still saw him as her puppy dog, as the one that would go get the stick at her command, but he wasn't that guy he wasn't blinded by her, not anymore.

"Not good enough" He said standing up and glancing at her one last time he sighed "Go home Elena" It took her a few seconds to attempt a response but Damon was already out the door not giving her a chance to try to make it better. He walked fast for a few blocks until he found his car in the lab's parking lot. He got in and sighed heavily again, he couldn't remember being so frustrated in a long time, he hit his wheel a few times, Elena couldn't get to him like that anymore, he wouldn't let her.

He picked up his phone and called his brother, he wondered if he was aware of what his fiancé was up to, maybe he could get him to take her home, he could say she was visiting and he would want to see him too that way he could see Stefan and get him to take Elena off his back all in one go, but of course after a couple of calls his brother didn't picked up. He thought about going back to mystic falls for the weekend to see him, to try to understand what the hell was going on, but he was swamped at work he couldn't leave the department hanging he had a responsibility to fulfill. The Elena subject had to go away eventually maybe that was enough for her, maybe she would go on her own after what he just said to her, she wasn't very persistent when it came to them so he wasn't all that worried.

Elijah texted him to ask if he was going to have dinner with him, he told him he'd be there later and headed to his new apartment, he was living in a luxury condo near the university, it had all the commodities including a very nice bathtub that could compare to the one he had back at the boarding house, when he saw it the first person he thought about was Lexie, beautiful, strong headed, loyal Lexie, and how much he had screwed his chance at happiness up, by being distracted with Elena, he thought about calling her, but she most likely wouldn't pick up the phone, she was mad and she was right to be, he promised he wouldn't disappointed her and at the first chance he got he did. Maybe his destiny was to grow old alone, as his brother had said the last time they spoke. It was like he could never be okay with all the people he cared about at the same time; he always had to screw something up.

His thoughts went on like that for a while, he was riding the elevator up to his condo when his phone ringed, and he didn't answer knowing the coverage in the elevator sucked, when he arrived at his floor he called back.

"So did you see her yet?" Jeremy Gilbert said from the other end of the line.

"You knew she was coming, thanks for the heads up dude" He replied annoyed that everyone knew she was coming except him.

"You were very likely to skip town if I had told you, and that wasn't the idea" Jeremy said "what happened?"

"I told her to go home" He confessed abruptly.

"Very mature" He answered him with a short laugh.

"Yeah well that's how I roll this these, when are you coming?" Damon asked wanting a subject change.

"So she didn't tell you? I'm here man; I was actually calling you to see if we could meet up"

"Tonight I have a thing, maybe tomorrow" He had already told Elijah he was coming to diner, besides he knew that hanging out with Jeremy included a long session of him trying to make him part of the Gilbert family once again.

"Sure, so how about I come by your apartment tomorrow afternoon and we take it from there?" He replied.

"Ok, see you tomorrow then"

"Damon? I'm sorry" He said and hung up, why would he be sorry? What did he do? It was starting to annoy him big time the fact that people kept saying cryptic things and hanging up to him, what was this a mystery movie? In real life people don't just hang up, it's rude and out of line most of the time.

He ran a his fingers through his hair tiredly, he was emotionally exhausted, or maybe he was just exaggerating everything but he felt crushed and didn't really feel like going to Elijah's dinner, but it wouldn't get him anywhere to stay in his apartment drinking himself to sleep, there was already one alcoholic in the Salvatore family and they didn't need another one. He pushed his door open and turned on the lights, a sound coming from his living room took him by surprise, was there someone in his house? For the love of something sacred, like bourbon, why was this day happening to him? When you pay that much to live in a luxury building you would think they had good security measure, what was he supposed to do? He didn't own a gun, maybe he should, and everyone else did apparently and now if there was someone out to get him he couldn't defend himself. He walked slowly pass the kitchen and onto the living room, he tried to sneak a peek before entering the room completely, not knowing what to expect he took a vase from one of the shelves in the corridor and step into the living area of his high rise apartment, suddenly someone turned on the lights and the vase felt from his hands as soon as he saw who was standing in front of him. For a few seconds the sound of the vase breaking into a million pieces on the floor was all that fill the room, that and his accelerated breathing, this was going to be the death of him.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are completely out of your mind?" He said shouting at the person across the room from him.

"I didn't mean to fright you" She said quietly.

"I'm sick of this crap, you never ever intend to do shit but you do it Elena. Don't you get it? I'm not going to go through this with you again. Stop stalking me and get the hell out of my apartment" Damon shouted walking near her and taking her roughly by the arms, shaking her he continued "I don't want you to try to get me back. I don't want you to" He said without letting her go, he was aware she was about to cry, and inside a part of him felt terrible for talking to her like that, but enough was enough she couldn't just show up and try with a couple of I want yous to get him back, he didn't function like that, wanting him was not enough for him.

"Why are you this angry? I get that coming here was a bit intrusive but-"She began saying until her eyes went to his and she just looked up at him for a moment, pleading with him silently "You're hurting me" She whispered, and he let her go, he hadn't even realized he was holding her so tight, he let her go but he wouldn't apologize, no more apologies for her.

He sat down in the sectional sofa that occupied most of his living area, she paced the room for a bit before sitting down beside him. Damon didn't know what else to do, more screaming? Physically letting out? Or maybe he was overreacting, she was not a crazy person she would read the situation and leave him alone eventually. Half an hour later they were still sitting in the sofa in silence, he kept waiting for her to say or do something but apparently she was as paralyzed as he was.

Finally she turned and sat facing him; he turned as well and looked at her intently waiting for something to happen.

"Can we just talk? Please, I don't expect you to forgive me or to make everything better in just one day" Elena said touching his arm lightly "But I just don't understand how we went from the day in your car, to the kiss to this, I thought we were making progress before you left Damon" A tear fell down her cheeks and he had to abstain himself from touching her face "Could you at least tell me why?"

He breathed soundly he hated seeing her like this and as much as he wanted just to throw her out, he couldn't. Not yet.

"You used to want to make me be better Elena, and this time around you made me into the complete opposite of what I want to be, I turned out to be a cheater and a liar, and I can't let you do this to me again. I betrayed Stefan, he's my brother, he's the only thing I have left and I can't be that guy, not even for you" He confessed slowly and carefully "And frankly that's just the tip of the iceberg" He took his eyes away from her because he couldn't see the pained expression she had on and not want to make her feel better, making her feel better wouldn't solve a thing this time around.

After a couple of minutes of dead silence he heard her sobbing, she was breaking down and as much as he wanted to stay away one look at her and he couldn't help it, he put his arms around and she kept sobbing in his chest, he caressed his hair slowly, and didn't let her go.

"I'm so sorry" She said between sobs "I can't seem to get it right with you" Elena whispered still in his arms. He kept holding her, and slowly the sobbing faded away. He thought about how much he had wished for this moment, to be able to hold her and be with her like this, it wasn't about sex, it wasn't passion, it was this, it was holding her and knowing that she wasn't going anywhere, at least not tonight, and for the first time since a long time he could relax around her, he could forget all of his regrets and anger and just enjoy the simple moment they were in together.

_**I need answers for what all the waiting I've done means  
You kill me, you've got some nerve, but can't face your mistakes  
I know what I should do, but I just can't turn away**_

**AN: Is Elena being a bit to melodramatic for your taste? I'm not sure that's what I wanted but maybe it's what happened there. **


End file.
